Is it normal that my facial paralysis causes people to make fun of me?

32% Normal

I was born with facial paralysis due to complications at childbirth. I am a woman in my 60s. Every day I feel like I look good and I am relatively happy and optimistic. Sometimes I even feel radiant and beautiful. But my feelings about myself are not what people see. People see my face and are either horrified or burst out in laughter. In the past few years people have gotten very mean and it seems like I cannot go anywhere without being ridiculed. Sometimes I forget my face is so screwed up, and my feelings get so hurt I become agoraphobic and cannot go out. My life is passing me by because I hide to avoid the ridicule.

For example, last winter I walked my dog in the deep woods of New Hampshire. When I got back to the parking area, a man (older than me, about 70) who I never saw before, had just parked his car next to mine. The first thing he said to me was: "WOW, you are the ugliest f-!@ing c*nt I have ever seen."

A few weeks ago I was at the deli counter at the supermarket waiting for my order when a mom with 2 little kids dressed in white karate clothes came up and stood next to me. The little boy (no more than 5-6) was practicing his kicks, and since I know a thing or two about martial arts, I asked the little boy if he knew the roundhouse kick. He did and he demonstrated it for me. Then (from the mouth of babes) he said, "You look like a robber. Are you robbing this place?" I told him I can assure him that I was not a robber, never was a robber, and that my scary face was due to some health issues. Quickly his mom grabbed him and his younger sister and walked out of the supermarket.

I recently went in person for a job interview after several phone conversations with the female owner of the business. I thought it all went fairly well. When I got home I found a phone message saying, "Sorry but we are not hiring from the Fugly Club."

I have story after story like this, people laughing, pointing, making cruel jokes, calling me all sorts of nasty names. Now people whip out their phones and surreptitiously take my picture, like they just can't believe it and post it to social media. I am so tired of it. My face is a little droopy on one side, like someone who had a stroke. I look in the mirror and am so used to it I don't notice until I go out and people treat me horribly. I feel OK about myself until someone else calls me ugly (at the very least). My mother, who was beautiful like Sofia Loren, called me "Faccia Bruta" (Face of a Brute) growing up. My marriage fell apart because my husband's friends called me ugly (Good thing she can cook, because she sure is ugly). I cannot afford the corrective plastic surgery, and insurance won't cover it. I feel OK about myself until some stranger's humiliation hurts so much that I never want to leave the house again.