Is it normal that my dad's relationships are giving me trust issues?

79% Normal
5 Comments

My dad has never been the type to fall in love. He just sees his wife as someone to talk to because he doesn't want to be alone. He only married her in the first place because my mom left. No one likes my new mom, not even him. He only puts up with her because he's spent a lot of money on her in the first place teaching her English, and job skills. I feel like he treats her like a business deal instead of a lifetime companion that he loves to be around.
My dad is the only male role model that I have and now that I have a boyfriend, I can see him like my dad. Whenever my boyfriend buys me something, I don't want him to feel like he has to spend money on me all the time or like I'm some person that has to be maintained with gifts and money. Now I have doubts that he only wants to spend time with me because he doesn't want to be alone. Even though I know he likes me. But I'm sorry if this is weird. I just need an opinion.

Voting Results
79% Normal
Based on 34 votes (27 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • hoppy
    10 years ago

    Many of us consciously seek out elements of our relationships with our fathers because it's by far our biggest experience of a loving relationship with a man and what else can we do but go with what feels familiar when we're seeking something stable and comfortable?

    Although this problem seems to be about your boyfriend, I think it's really about your dad and I wonder whether getting him talking about his new wife, especially the positive things he likes about her might make you see that there is more to it than meets the eye. Although I won't lie, perhaps it's exactly what you think in which case the problem transfers from your dad to you as it's all about how you're going to deal with these feelings in present and future relationships.

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  • squeallikeasacofpigs
    10 years ago

    If you clearly know exactly what's wrong with you and the source of your problem, why are you even bothering typing all this out?

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    • Ixu
      10 years ago

      Well as people say, "knowing is half the battle" it's far harder to fully conquer these problems.

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  • Jewelemma
    10 years ago

    I have a very horrible dad who does very bad things. Maybe u could try to talk to your dad more? I don't know it's just a suggestion :) I have trust issues too and I find it's best to talk with the person and tell them that u need them to stick around.

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  • thegypsysailor
    10 years ago

    Well, you are sure going to have a terrible life! You realize that what your Dad is doing is wrong, but you insist in following in his footsteps.
    Are you really that stupid? Really?
    Get it right in your life and to hell with everyone else, including your Dad, and "love the one you're with".

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