Is it normal that my dad's girlfriend is 20 and he is 48?

Sorry it's long!

my dad's girlfriend is 20. and he is 48. I have a rocky past with my dad, he is a horrible man. he cheated on my mother for 15 years, and always seems to have more than one girlfriend. He also used to hit me, and my brothers, and when my mum divorced him, he got together with the girl he'd cheated on her with, but soon after I think he just left her. It's so hard to explain, but he manipulates women, and makes them worship him, so they become so obsessed with him they'll do anything he wants. then he uses them for his pleasure. I asked him to stop seeing her, but he refused, so I stopped seeing him. I basically said 'It's me or her' and he chose her. I know from what I've told you he sounds horrible, he is, but I love him, he's my dad, and he was sometimes a great dad to me. I never really knew about the affairs, but he was still sometimes a great father. he's has stopped his rages, and he doesn't hit, but now he has this new girlfriend. but it gets worse. he is a piano teacher, and she was his student. he's known her since she was 13, and her father is his best friend. her parents have been manipulated and now worship him, and are completely fine with him being with their daughter. and recently, He had dinner with another one of his students, she is also 20, and actually one of his girlfriends friends. he swears that it's just old friends catching up, but knowing him, he will probably lure her in too. I think it's sick, but if you can just understand that on the outside, he can be a great dad to us. but he is also bad in that he doesn't pay child support for his three kids because he is jealous of my mums fiance, who he thinks will get money if he pays. my step dad is brilliant, he provides us with a house, and is a real father figure for us. My dad lies to courts so he doesn't have to pay child support, and then goes on five holidays a year, 3 of them with his new girlfriend. But my brothers don't see this, they love my father, look up to him, and think he's great. they are completely fine with his girlfriend, I was the only one who eventually put my foot down. do you think I was right to do this? he says that it is his life, and he can do what he wants. but he is ruining these womens life and they are too young and naive to see that. another thing is, he seems to have a thing for asian women. my mother is asian, the women he cheated on my mother with is asian, and his current girl is asian. I think he thinks he can play with them and treat them like crap. I hate him, but I love him! I'm so confused, and what I really need is a decision. Should I ignore everything and focus on him being my father? or forget him? I've tried forgetting him, and it's hard. my brothers still see him, and hate me because I hate him. I'm in a real pickle, and I need some unbiased advice. thanks, sorry it's long, it's kind of a life story.

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35% Normal
Based on 93 votes (33 yes)
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Comments ( 16 )
  • You are blinded because he is your father, but no one has the right to treat you like this.

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  • Lynxikat

    After everything he's done, not just getting together with a younger woman, but cheating on your mother, not paying child support, AND using women to the point where he makes them fall in love with him and then throws them out like their his own personal playthings, how on earth can you still love this man? You keep saying that he was a "good father", but good fathers actually PAY their child support and not go out with a younger woman he's known since she was thirteen.

    I know he's your dad, but when is it going to be the breaking point where you want nothing to do with him? He's 48- there's no possible way you can change him. He's already proven how selfish he is by using his plaything over his own child. That alone should speak volumes.

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  • jesusdiedlol

    Be your own best friend. I'm glad you know that his behavior towards women is unacceptable. I hope you treat women right or, if you're a woman, never let a man treat you like that. I don't really talk to my dad because he did the same thing to my mom. If you believe your step dad is a good man then you should spend more time with him.

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  • rin

    We can't change our parents. If you can accept what your dad does than just let it go. I'm assuming you're a girl? It makes sense why you would hate him more than your brothers when you see how he treats women. Just make sure you don't end up with a husband like your father. You can still talk to your dad and go over for dinner and still have your own life.

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  • Dark_forest_923

    It sounds like your dad is a pervert.
    Sorry, no offense.
    but your stepmom became a "woman" only 2 years ago,so...

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  • theaverageatheist

    one of my family's friends is 56 and his girl friend is 21, (same age of his son O.o) I can't say it's normal but it's definetly common

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  • 11076218

    i feel for you in this situation. Tbh though its your dads decsision. He obviously really likes her. i wouldnt try and come between them. It doesn't mean your dad does not love you. But he wants the love and affection from a young woman that you are unable to give him. When you are older, you will have a boyfriend and then you will understand and your dad won't be such a priority to you.

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  • pixie_dust

    You choose ur friends, but not ur parents. Its not ur fault ur dad is a douche bag! So, u shouldnt have any guilt associated whatsoever. If I were u, I would tell him thar it really hurt u when he cheated on ur mom. Tell him that obviously a 20 year old at his age is obviously not intsllectually stimulating and its a shame that at his age, he's still as shallow as can be. Very disappointing. You ought to tell your siblings the same thing and maybe kind of try to teach the younger ones, use him as an example of how NOT to act or how not to be happy.

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  • Alison89

    I didn't read the whole thing. It didn't look like it had much to do with the age difference.

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  • andieandie

    My dad is 44, my stepmom is 25. They have a really good relationship, she may even be more mature than him. I see that you may not have a good relationship with him, but if he likes her..yknow?

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    • there is 19 years between them. there is 28 years between my dad and his gf. thats 9 more years. he's more than halfway through his life, hers is just beginning. he already has 3 kids, what if she wants kids at 30? he'll be 58. when their kids are 10, he'll be 68. when their kids are her age now, he'll be 78. when their kids have kids, he'll be dead.

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  • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress

    I understand that you're still hurt about what happened between him and your mother.

    The thing is, you need to understand that .... this doesn't give you the right to order him around, or tell him whom he can and cannot date.

    As long as he is no longer married and his girlfriend is of legal age, you have no right to stick your nose into their relationship.

    Yes, you may take it as a personal insult that he's dating a girl you disapprove of but... that doesn't mean it has anything to do with you, nor that you have a say in their relationship.

    As you've learned... sometimes sticking your nose in is the best way to get it slapped away.

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  • sick_freak

    Way to go dad!

    hit that, hit that, hit that!

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  • chicken471bologna

    Okay people. Mega troll alert on this one. This story is fake.

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    • I honestly wish it was fake. but sadly, it isn't. i cant prove that it isnt, but you can believe me and help me if you want. your call.

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      • chicken471bologna

        Wait it is true!? Oh sorry. It's just the way you made the story sound made me think it was fake.

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