Is it normal that my dad always yells at my mom?

I'm leaving the house soon, but for as long as I can remember my parents have fought very frequently. Instead of it being a balanced struggle, no matter what the argument is about, it always ends with my mother crying and my father being very stern and patronizing and my mother having to apologize many times. He acts like a child, jovial one moment and angry about anything the next. My mom has promoted to me before the values of lying to please people rather than telling the truth. Now that I'm older I have problems with relationships with guys because I hate when they try to act masculine. I also personal space issues especially with my dad and I'm starting to wonder if I have far less than normal memories of my childhood. I wasn't physically abused or anything. Is this normal?

Voting Results
35% Normal
Based on 49 votes (17 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 8 )
  • NeuroNeptunian

    Unfortunately your parents have an unhealthy relationship in which your mother is probably hooked to him and your father is mentally unstable and manipulating her. I would seek help. This is becoming too common in households and I hope that you can recover from this. They had no right to raise you under such conditions.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • dat_loral

    My parents fight like this at least once a month. Its good that your moving out soon but as for the relationship thing try finding a sensitive guy and maybe it would help if you tell them the situation that you grew up around. I hope I helped! Good luck!

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • intellectuallychallengedmaybe

    you sound like you went thru the same thing i did. its not normal, but its what happened. it doesnt make it right either. my dad was jovial one moment and macho and evil the next. my mother never apologized tho. she was a fighter and i respect her for that. i realize that i have problems with men who act macho as well becuase it reminds me of my father's stupidity. your father sounds like he was abused as a child, which may account for the mood swings. i dont know how old you are, but my advice is to make a plan, stick to it, move out if you are still with him and move on. you may also consider dating someone outside of your normal dating range/criteria. strange as it seems, sometimes we end up being with someone that is just like the parent we despised. your mother sounds like an enabler, which is just as bad as your father's behavior, because it keeps the cycle going. this is so wrong and i'm sorry that you have been going through this. please keep us posted.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • boehawk

    It's not a healthy to argue like that . It can be healthy to argue if there is respect and you hear each other out . You learn to compromise and look at the other persons point of view and consider what and why they are feeling like they do. You both have to do that for it to be a healthy thing. For one person always being wrong and having to give in is not healthy. But sadly that is the way many families are and they teach the children that is how a marriage works and so it goes on for another generation .

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • Maybe she's dumb and needs to be yelled at?

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • sassafrassi

    Sounds normal. My family never talked to each other much. Now I haven't seen some of them in years and it doesn't bother me most of the time. I do wish I could see my one brother or at least talk to him but he doesnt seem to want to talk to anyone. If he wasnt living with my other brother I probably wouldnt even know if he was still alive or not. :/

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • bananaface

    It's normal for me, I don't know about anyone else. Although, everyone argues, right?

    I'm in a situation which is quite similar, although the results are very different and my mother never cries. It's usually just arguing for the sake of it, rather than to accomplish something or to solve problems. I don't think this behaviour is healthy, but it's life. I really don't care about it anymore.

    Just be happy for the fact you weren't physically abused:)

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • Dad

    It takes two to argue.
    Your Mom is also to blame here. She should have left long ago.

    Comment Hidden ( show )