Is it normal that my cousin(female) abused me when i was about 7?

16 Comments

So when i was about 7, my cousin(female, 5 years older) abused me in my house by forcing me to kiss her. She layed me on a table and then she was forcing me to kiss her, also by inserting her tounge in my mouth, and this happened several times(more then once anyway).
My question to you guys is: Is it normal, because her name is Ana as well as mine, and it's kind of creepy that that shit actually happened, and i keep going to therapies, psycologists but none actually tell me anything maybe they think it is too creepy or think i am lying? HELP! One shrink actually told me i was a lesbian after hearing my story!
THANKS

No, it isn't normal 56
Yes, it is normal 19
Um... It is weird 26
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Comments ( 16 )
  • Mr.ㅤE
    9 years ago

    Keep in mind your cousin was also still a child when it happened and it was only kissing. It's actually very common for kids to do things like that.
    Of course it was very wrong of her to do it but don't let it be something that causes you a lot of trauma.

    Are you sure that shrink told you were a lesbian, or did they ask you if you were and you took offence? That sounds fishy to me.
    When several psychologist's, not just one, have poor reactions to your stories and think you could be lying, it could have something to do with the way in which you're telling them.

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  • disthing
    9 years ago

    No it's not normal.

    That said, I also don't think it's something you should preoccupy yourself with, or spend years of your life in therapy over.

    You could confront your cousin - tell her you remember her forcing you to kiss her, and that you think it was very wrong of her, and you'll never forget it. Also tell her you will be keeping an eye on her (especially around children).

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    • iEatZombies_
      9 years ago

      The cousin was only 12 at the time. Hardly someone who should be watched now.

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      • disthing
        9 years ago

        Good point - I should have done the maths.

        A twelve year old is still very young and therefore not necessarily mature enough emotionally or physically to be held accountable for their actions years down the line.

        It's also young enough that something like this isn't indicative of paedophilic urges.

        Thanks for pointing the age out to me - I think it does change things.

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        • iEatZombies_
          9 years ago

          You're welcome. Judging by the comments, I don't think most people realized the age.

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    • RoseIsabella
      9 years ago

      I think saying she's gonna keep an eye on her would be putting it mildly. It would be best to cut this cousin out of her life. The cousin is obviously a piece of shit degenerate not to mention she'd been coming around asking OP's folks for money which is never a good sign. Shamelessly asking extended family members for money is a deadbeat junkie move if ever I saw one. In my humble opinion OP would be best served by disowning this cousin of hers entirely.

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  • iEatZombies_
    9 years ago

    I don't think this is something you should hold against your cousin,as they were 12 at the time and clearly had something going on in their life at the time. Obviously it wasn't right, but it isn't by any means evil. This was a child who was taught something very wrong. Being 25 now, I'm sure things are different and they probably feel very awkward and guilty now. If you confront her, keep in mind you're confronting the actions of a 12 year old, not a 25 year old.

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  • RoseIsabella
    9 years ago

    I wouldn't be surprised if your cousin was sexually abused in some way or at least neglected to the point that she didn't have proper supervision and was allowed to have no boundaries.

    Are your parents aware of the abuse she inflicted on you? If I were you I would cut all ties with your abusive cousin. I would fire the therapist who suggested that you're a lesbian. I would also refrain from any kind of inimacy experimentation with other females until you have worked through your trauma around this issue. And finally I would take my time when dating men.

    Anyone who is not respectful of you is not worth your time and energy!

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    • Petra285
      9 years ago

      Thanks very much for the feedback... i know that people have to be strong to survive, so i will do my thing... well i just told my dad or at least the priest i was confessing to told him actually so i think he knows but i never asked though... i don't want this subject to rule my life so i'd rather not talk about it again...

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  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    I don't know how "normal" it could be considered but regardless, it is NOT okay.

    I also strongly suggest you find a new therapist.

    You both have the same name...?

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    • Petra285
      9 years ago

      Yes, we do. Life is funny sometimes!

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      • Petra285
        9 years ago

        Actually she kept annoing me all of these years kept coming to my house... Etc. Also she constantly asks my family for money, it"s not my problem any more, she is from a city 200 km away I am 20 btw. Yeah well I did therapy as I have stayed in a rehab for 5 months.

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  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    First thing is to talk to the authorities?

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  • la_uva_mojada
    9 years ago

    this is pretty common. I remember worse things happening when I was a kid.

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  • noid
    9 years ago

    No, not normal.

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  • Couman
    9 years ago

    Please excuse me if this is too nosy, but how specifically did she force you to kiss her? Obviously any kind of force isn't OK, but to me that still makes a big difference in *how* bad, or how abnormal, it was.

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