Is it normal that my brother is 17 and acts like he's 11?

31% Normal
10 Comments

My brother is seventeen years old, he's very nearly eighteen. Our mom tried hard to raise us well, but he and my younger (autistic) brother didn't stop watching Nick Jr. type shows until they were older, like around 10 and 11. They have not separated and my 17 year old brother tends to be extremely emotional, impulsive, and occasionally violent. I'm not sure if something's wrong with him, or if I should just wait it out and hope that he matures. Is this normal?

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31% Normal
Based on 211 votes (65 yes)
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Comments ( 10 )
  • disthing
    11 years ago

    It's kind of hard to know if what you perceive to be immature is what the rest of us would perceive to be immature based only on what you've written.

    - Watching cartoons isn't necessarily a sign of immaturity.
    - Being 'extremely' emotional is kind of a subjective thing and there are people of all ages who are more emotional than others, just as there are those of all ages who seem devoid of emotion.
    - Impulsiveness is a trait found in lots of people too, of all ages. Impulsive shopping, impulsive travel etc.
    - Occasionally violent is also something you could accuse about a quarter of the population of being, regardless of age.

    My point is, without you actually providing examples of your brother being 'extremely' emotional, impulsive and violent, we've only got your opinion to base our own upon - we can't be objective and particularly helpful. Provide some examples! :)

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    • Faerie.Minds
      11 years ago

      Okay, for example, he didn't stop watching Blue's Clues until he was 11, didn't stop watching Dora til he was 14. When he speaks, he sounds like a young child. He flies into a violent rage over the smallest thing, such as a perceived slight - for example my other brother drops something that belongs to him, and (we'll call him) Jack will pound on him and throw him on the floor. If (we'll call him) Joe asks Jack for help doing something, such as finding a toy or a picture, Jack will scream in anger as if it was physically painful.

      If you try to speak to Jack about his behavior, he bursts into tears and apologises like he's trying to spare his life or something, but the minute Joe walks by, he's seething in rage again and blaming him for getting him in trouble.

      The reason I'm so worried is because our mother passed away just over a year ago, and I'm working on moving out of my parent's home. My father is old and sick, so there's a chance that Joe will be Jack's responsibility one day. My father thinks there's nothing wrong, and goes so far as to tell his psychiatrist that he's normal and fine, when maybe even just that morning, Jack beat up his brother for leaving the cap off the toothpaste or something.

      It sounds strange, perhaps, but I'm trying to get peer opinion on the matter before I bring it up to my father again - I don't want to bring it to him if it's not really a problem. I know boys mature far later than girls do, but I'm not quite sure this is how it's supposed to be.

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      • disthing
        11 years ago

        The cartoon thing is fairly irrelevant, I've watched cartoons aimed at young kids on occasion and I'm 22. I'm not a big baby, I can just enjoy the simplicity and mindlessness of it all.

        But based on the other stuff he does sound emotionally immature. I've known a couple of guys who have similarly infantile temper tantrums. Even my brother gets worked up over very small things such as being asked to wash up the dishes or somebody disagreeing with his point of view. But not to quite the same extent as your brother. It sounds like he could do with some kind of behavioural therapy, to help him to grow out of this childish bubble he's wrapped up in and address his emotional instability.

        I think it's a reasonable thing to bring up with your father. Maybe that way as a family you can motivate him to change his behaviour. The thing is, if he's in a household where discipline is lacking and where he can throw his weight around and act like a child without punishment, it's difficult to change that behaviour pattern, especially as late on as 17. Not impossible though. Good luck with it :)

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  • NeuroNeptunian
    11 years ago

    No.
    Studies are starting to show a genetic link for autism and it's very possible that your 17 year old brother is autistic considering you already have an autistic brother. If not autistic then having some sort of developmental delay. Your parents should be investigating this, you can't do much.

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  • RomeoDeMontague
    10 years ago

    You just mentioned that he was autistic so wouldn't this be part of the issue? Sometimes people with these kind of problems do not go past a certain level. So yes it is normal. Also some adults still watch kid shows. We had a kid like this in my school once and he use to have tantrums and hit the teacher. Though I myself know some very immature 17,18,19 year olds that act like children. One person I know throws a hissy fit anytime you do not want to do what they ask. I just figured most people from age 16-19 had very low maturity levels.

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  • alv1592
    11 years ago

    Disthing - I'm aware that humans are a violent species, but this kid should have outgrown throwing temper fits a long time ago.

    Anyway, watching kids shows is uncommon but not a bad thing. The rest doesn't sound normal, but all I can say is hopefully he gets help. Good luck to you all.

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  • Commanderjankie
    11 years ago

    Men (Like me) are very immature then women. Try to shake him out of the kid life. If he's doing good in school and has friends THEN HES FINE. Hes a teenager and teenagers tend to act Immature. If he doesn't stop sooner or later hes Austic.

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  • Avant-Garde
    11 years ago

    I don't think this has to do with Nick Jr., I think it's possible that your other brother may also have autism. Take him to a doctor so he can get diagnosed.

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  • alv1592
    11 years ago

    I agree with the above comment; violence is a sign of some kind of mental problem. And autism could run in the family. I have Aspberger's, it's a mild case but I have a cousin who has shown signs of the same disorder. Tell your parents that you're concerned about him, he should probably see a doctor.

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    • disthing
      11 years ago

      "violence is a sign of some kind of mental problem"... That's an extremely broad statement to make. Violence is a fairly natural expression of anger and stress. In our society we're conditioned to control it, but there are many circumstances where a violent response would seem justified without it indicating 'mental problems'.

      Very low tolerance to provocation / short tempers on the other hand indicate difficulty managing anger and stress, that can indicate some psychological issue. But being, as the OP said, "occasionally violent" means nothing if we don't know what the situation in which the guy is being violent is :)

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