Is it normal that my brother calls me?

43% Normal
12 Comments

When my younger brother calls me (almost every other day) to ask, confirm, check, discuss, remind something, my wife will get mad and say that:
1. I like to get involved in his life
2. He is too attached to me that every little thing he has to report to me
3. I like to be updated with what happens to him and my parents (my parents live with him)
4. He is incapable that every little thing he has to ask / consult me.

This is so serious to the extent that she refuses help from my younger brother, and other fairly obvious rejection in many ways.

However, the youngest brother hardly contacts me and she has no problem with that. She likes it this way by saying
that everyone should live his own life.

On the other hand, she likes me to be fairly involved with her family and friends. To be specific, she likes to see me going out with her brother, see her brother spend time with me, see her brother offer help to me, or I offer help to her brother.

Is it normal that my wife has this kind of behaviour? Does it have anyhting to do with jealousy?

Voting Results
43% Normal
Based on 63 votes (27 yes)
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Comments ( 12 )
  • moreplease
    13 years ago | pl

    Has everything to do with jealousy, you should talk to her and tell her that you are going to be involved with your family just as she is with hers. She should be reminded that your family was there before her and you and your family are a package deal just as hers is too! If she has a problem with that, tell her to get some help cuz this is NOT normal! Hope that helped :)

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    Your wife propably is giving you the hint that you should be fair between her family and yours. But if she says that you should take care of her family ALL the time, then its normal.

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  • ITgirl232
    12 years ago

    he probably feels lonely.

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  • 4theloveofdez
    12 years ago

    She has a problem. Too controlling and jealous. if its not to her satisfaction she is unhappy. I would cringe at her speaking d my family in that way. So what if you're close to your brother or he confides in you or looks up to you? That should not bother her, especially when she likes the idea of her brother being your BFF. Has your brother spoken ill of her in the past, or dislikes her so she holds a personal grudge?

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    • awong
      12 years ago

      My brother (B1) has not spoken ill of her. If fact, B1 wanted to get close to us by when she was about to become a new member of the family. B1 suggested family (parents, B1 and another brother (B2) and family) weekend trip together to know each other better. Initially my wife went for family trips together but after a few trips she felt that B1 always wanted to get us involved and said B1 should leave us alone and why can't B1 join another B2's family without us.

      B1 has been kind enough to us. 2 years ago, B1 went overseas with my parents to settle some personal matters. During that time, I had visitors and B1 said I can use his car (just few months old) since I have many people to go out with. However, I only used it for short trip and not long trip. Sometimes B1 wanted to offer help, but my wife will reject through me. But she likes to ask her brother to help me in evertything as if I cannot do it. When I offer domestic help to B1 she will not like it.

      B1 lives with my parents. They all have medical conditions, very briefly: B1 - heart and vision impairment, father - heart and mobility, mother - vision impairment and mobility. Being the eldest in the family, I would like to know every now and then how B1 is coping to look after them. Looking after 2 elderly parents is difficult enough, and to make matter worse, my parents do not get along well at all due to some past history. I know that B1 spends a lot of time and energy on this and therefore would like to help whenever I can.

      B1 can feel the rejection now as it is becoming more obvious. She always says that we quarreled because of B1 but I find that she has negative perception just about everything B1 does. When B1 wants to buy something he will check with B2 and me to see our view, she will say that there is no need to check at all. It is alright to make mistake and learn from mistake. My belief is if one can refer to someone's advice / experience before making a decision, why not? Then why do we have forum for people to share their thoughts / experiences / advice?

      Lately, B2 asked me to help him buy a media player for my parents as the shop is near where I live. My wife said there is no hurry to do it as my parents were overseas then. She also asked why B2 could not buy it and set it up for my parents, why I had to buy it and then he set it up later.

      I always treat my wife, her family, her relatives and friends very well when I visit them or when they visit us. There was one time When she was overseas and her family friends visited me, she asked me to take them out and take good care of them and I did make our guests feel very welcomed.

      2 months ago, I asked her to help send B1 for a eye check since B1 cannot drive after eye check as B1 would be given eye drops that give blurred vision and will make both eyes very sensitive to sunlight for 3 or 4 hours. And she said no and why can't he take public transport or wait and drive until the vision is clear again.

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  • Mehereok
    13 years ago

    Pure, flat-out jealousy. I've had ex-girlfriends be that way with my (admittedly fit and very hot) older sister, whom I get along well with. If I called when the GF was around, I'd get the "Are you talking to your sister again?" or "Is SHE that much smarter or better than ME?". Often times, the answer to both was YES.

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  • deviantd
    13 years ago

    It could be a lot of different issues, jealousy, insecurity, thinking that they are taking up too much of your time or that they are a bad influence on you, not liking your family in general....hard to tell from a paragraph.

    but its an issue and not really yours. Maybe you are closer with your family than is "normal". Maybe you and your brother are a little co-dependent.

    Maybe it's all normal. you may want to try talking to a counselor or getting some other outside (of either family) opinion.

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  • lewlew80
    13 years ago

    Ur wife wants u all to herself so she can collect that insurance policy after she kills ur ass.. Yes, ur wife's jealous.

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  • 8Serene8
    13 years ago

    There is a difference between being close with your brother and being weirdly close.

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    amen to that ^^^

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  • BoredGuy
    13 years ago

    She don't approve your brother

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    I cant tell from your story what YOU want. first you ask if its normal that your brother calls? i think yes
    then you ask if your wife is jealous? i think possibly.
    but what about you? do you like lots of contact with your brother?

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