Ask Your Question today
Okay so I am like always in the mood, but sometimes my boyfriend turns me down so he can smoke. It's not all the time because sometimes he smokes before we have our alone time but is it normal that when it comes down to it he would pick to smoke rather than to have sex?
How often does he turn down sex? And what kind of smoke? Is it ciggarettes, marijuana, or something else?
But if this was a guy complaining about his girlfriend turning him down, I bet he'd be vilified.
I do, but I'm against anyone who can't live life without some kind of drug in their system. To many people I know in real life had horrible things happen to them based on some kind of inebriation.
Any man that puts ANYTHING above you, is not deserving of you.
I had one like this. It was horrible, that feeling of rejection, while he pulls out a bong and doesn't care. Like it was on his terms.
If it really is only once in awhile, you can handle it, and everything else is fine, then just talk to him about it and make a decision from there. Don't just make threats or ultimatums, just tell him (not during sexy time or after it happens, at another time in a neutral place) that when he does that it upsets you. Ask him why he does it.
If you're not happy after that, then leave him. Don't let it escalate.
Yeah it is horrible. We have talked about it and he knows my views on it and how it makes me feel so he has made the decision on his own that throughout this year he will slowly stop using. Things from before have gotten way better but there's still those days and i'm just worried that at the end what if he doesn't stick to his word.
that sucks! several years after my wife and I got married, she wanted me to have sex with her friends so she wouldn't have to be at it all night, which I thought was weird. BUT to say no to sex for a smoke??? That's crazy!!! Get a better bf, theyre out there.
He's a loser. Get a new boyfriend honey. Any guy would kill for a horny girlfriend if isn't taking advantage of it than to hell with them?
Did you ever consider that he is getting bored of having sex with you? Like they say show me a beautiful woman, and I'll show you a man who's tired of fucking her. Give or take on the beautiful factor lol
What a dumbass! That's a damn shame. Wasting some sweet walls. Mmmm. Man, if I had some sweet sugar walls at the house, oh. Man I'd treat you wrong.
i would trade millions of cigarettes for sex. it's so much better then smoking. oh well, i don't like smoking... could explain it.
Oh, it's so normal. I had a Scottish girlfriend who liked a drink, and after we'd screwed about three times on a Saturday or Sunday, we'd just forget about sex and have a few lagers - until we went to bed that night, of course.
I noticed it has been a while since you posted this question. How have things been going? I'm in a relationship where the fact that my boyfriend is a pot head is becoming a bigger and bigger issue. When we first started dating he said he smoked weed just to help him sleep and he would go out for a smoke right before bed. Then he started going out to smoke before we ate dinner and before bed because apparently he only has an appetite when he smokes. Now it's kind of just a lot of the time that he is smoking, we aren't having sex with any regularity, and I get this boyfriend who can't open his bloodshot eyes or do anything but giggle and then go to bed. I don't really know what to do anymore. It's hard because there are real feelings there, and I love him. We didn't start the relationship with the problem, had I known that he was smoking pot all the time, I might have made different choices, I just don't know what to do now. Does anyone have any advice? We've talked about it, and he says that he will always be a pot smoker, so is leaving my only option? I really want there to be another way to make this work.
Smoke what... a turkey? Salmon? That takes a lot of work, I can see why he's tired from all the smoking of the meats.
Don't listen to bigfatpoo - you're better than your bf - get someone else - if he prefers smoking to you - then he obviously has issues.
There are plenty more fish in the sea and I am sure that you will find someone lovely who will treat you like a princess.
The way i see it
Your a bitch and a slut, i'm sorry i put it blunlty
It looks like you want sex to often, and you pressurise your bf to have sex, even if he doesn't want it which probably stresses him out. Which is why he would rather relax and smoke
First of all, if its cannabis he's smoking, I know from personal experience that cannabis decreases testosterone. When he smokes he has no sex drive.
There's a difference between partying and using drugs to cope with your problems. If relationships (and everything else) starts to matter less to him than getting high, then that's what's happening. He's probably depressed, which is why he gets high so much. If he is, there's no way you can bring him out of his slump. Its his problem not yours. Getting high is how he runs away from his problems. It matters to him more than anything, including your relationship, and it'll only get worse.
I actually did the EXACT SAME thing one time when I was high as s**t and a super attractive girl gave me a very provocative invite to come over to her house. I was baked so i didn't care enough to make the effort. If it gets worse, and I think it will, take care of yourself. dont make his problem yours. find someone else
He doesn't want to have sex with sometimes? Who cares?
Sounds pretty normal to me.
Seems like some serious overreacting to me.
for guys it's easy to simply say that your boyfriend is being an idiot, and I agree that in most situations any guy would prefer sex over smoking.
However, you have given very little background information regarding the current state of the relationship.
For example, I could imagine that if you two have been together for a long time and your boyfriend is stressed or unhappy for whatever reason he might prefer to smoke when he comes home in order to forget about his issues. When guys have personal problems they often lose their sex-drive as well, so this would be a kind-of logical explanation.
Also, I do not know how old you both are, but if your bf is young and/or even still in puberty he might just feel the intense urge to smoke instead of have sex, simply because he is in the stage of is life where experimenting seems important to him.
Well yeah.
Dope lowers your sex drive quite a bit, so if you smoke it too much you'll be way less interested in sex. I think about sex half as much when i'm stoned all the time.
There's also the issue of men respecting sex less (and women in general) when they get it all the time.