Is it normal that my boyfriend never helps me?

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18 Comments

I have been with my boyfriend for two years and we have recently moved in together. I really love him, we were best friends for 6 years before we began a romantic relationship and we get on really well on most levels. He has one terrible charactaristic and that is that he is so unbelieveably selfish. The only household chore I ask him to do is the dishes while I cook, clean, wash clothes, and all the rest of the daily grind, but he still resists it and acts like I'm being unreasonable and hassling him when I ask him to wash dishes. If he ever does any other favour for me he will act like he has just moved mountains and I owe him! But when I do favours for him he barely says thank you. Is this normal? I think I'm about to lose it with him which is a shame because I love him. Is he just immature? He is 24 and this is his (and my) first live-in relationship. Maybe he will grow in time?

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Based on 162 votes (33 yes)
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Comments ( 18 )
  • redwhite
    13 years ago

    Dump the lazy shit, it will drive you apart anyway. If not put up with him. No cleaning no pussy

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    • Allistalla
      11 years ago

      I agree . Tell him to get out of the house becuase he is to lazy to even help . If you are the only one working than he should do the housework if he does all the work I say you should do the housework . If you both work why is he not helping kick his ass out .

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  • wreckd
    13 years ago

    Do you work? If you both work then I would say yeahh, he's being selfish.

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    dump him

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  • puppyface
    13 years ago

    Pretend to be too tired from doing chores to have sex with him... That might change things.

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  • JohnPaulGrim
    13 years ago

    Okay, I'm going to be giving you advice here and a "personal point of view" for I am that same exact boyfriend in which you speak of! Although I don't even know who you are :).
    Anyway did you ever think:
    A) He is just like me and completely oblivious to anything that is going on around him unless it is something he is personally trying to do at that very moment?
    B) Just doesn't feel like when he does do the dishes you don't verbally reward him or applaud him for doing so?

    I mean I know how it sounds "dude, you just did the dishes, what do you want a bee-jay or something?!". Well hell yea! If I got one of those, once, or twice there would NEVER be a clean plate within a 4 mile radios of my house! And oh em gee 3 times?! I would do the dishes, rearrange the cabinets and clean the toilet bowels!
    I am a man by sex, all men are pretty animalistic. Think of us like dogs, you ask it to sit and it does! You feed it, pat its head, rub its belly and give it a crazy amount of praise, meanwhile all it did was sit down! It sits down all the time! Yet what is different in this situation is that you gave it a command and it followed!
    I know a lot of guys might have some problem with what I' am saying, most likely because deep down inside they know its true but are just too stubborn or pig headed to agree.
    Oh well, give it a try!
    When you have some clean dishes find this hidden post and give me a thanks! Or at least email me some n00dZ. JayyKayy
    :)

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    • Saustin3806
      6 years ago

      You're a moron lol. Housework is shared work. By feeling the need to be "rewarded" by doing the simplist of tasks truly shows your innability to sympathize with your partner. When I mean shared work I mean you both live there for god's sake why expect the woman to do it, where's her compliments?

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  • paradoxinsoxs
    13 years ago

    Unacceptable! Dump his ass or set him in line he's a lazy pos and lucky to have an awesome gf like you.

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  • 8Serene8
    13 years ago

    I think you need to tell him he either needs to start helping around the house or to start looking for another place to live. Sounds like someone who had everything done for him by mommy. -_-

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  • sunshinemoonlight
    7 years ago

    he should at least wash the dishes without complaining.

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  • grokcore
    11 years ago

    Yeah, it's totally normal for people to paint other people whatever damn way they want.
    He doesn't love you, just your poon.

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  • coocoo49
    11 years ago

    It's not unresonable to expect him to do his share. A real man does his chores without complaint -- and does them WELL.

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  • sioto
    11 years ago

    You have two choices. Live with it or ditch the bastard. He will never change.

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  • wrongun
    13 years ago

    Ummm stop nagging him.

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  • chaosdragoon1
    13 years ago

    This is how tha majority of men act. I don't but puppyface does have the most recommended solution. Lol. Women do that alot.

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  • jessicia16
    13 years ago

    maybe he's partially with you so that you'll do the things most women have been doing since time began .. if you want a guy who cleans try and find one of those guys who says yes dear to everythhing you say :)

    when i settle with a guy I love and live with him, i will not have a problem to cook, clean and please him how ever he likes, without any need to nag or expect in return ... in my opinion thats the diference between a happy woman and so many old 30+ women complaining they are lonley or cant find anyone or already dated 10 guys that diddnt work out etc

    anyway good luck to you

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  • Geneva5
    13 years ago

    You sound like an irritating girlfriend - there are more important things in life than the fucking dishes etc. They get done when they get done. Why are women so fixated on this ?

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    • Fleevles7
      11 years ago

      Aaaww, go back to your momma spoiled kid.

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