Ask Your Question today
I love my boyfriend. I just wanted to know a general audience's opinion. Only a handful of people haven't been supportive in real life so far.
Is it normal? Not exactly. You need to examine why you're with this guy in the first place. Is it just because he has a career, house, and/or money? Or do you have some psychological "daddy issues"? Do you have any interests in common? More info required to comment properly.
Is it normal? Yes. I’m in that situation and we are both very happy. I was 18 when I met him and he was 48. We never planned to fall in love but it was just one of those things that couldn’t be controlled.. when you truly love someone nothing else matters ... 2 years later and we are still going strong. We both have good jobs and are looking forward to the future. Seems pretty dam normal to me.
It's not even normal in the first place that you're attracted to a 50-year old man O.o
I get really tired if people saying that the girl must be a gold digger or have daddy issues to be attracted to or date an older man. There are people who go out into the world and just find someone who fits their personality, and they don't care if there I an age gap. As long as it is 3 adults, I don't see what the problem really is. Sure, there are cold calculating women who want a guy with a big bank account but I don't understand while people have such a hard time believing love can occur between generations.
Yeah, the love of my life, my soulmate, the person who makes me happier than anyone in the entire world is almost 30 years older than I am too. But when I fell for him I did not fall for his wallet, or because I wanted someone to take care of me, I fell for he because he is sweet, funny, has very similar interests, and genuinely cares for me in return. Why would I break it off with him just because of his age if I feel like we are so perfect together? That seems shallow to me. I didn't go out into the world looking for an older man, I was just looking for someone who would make me happy. You sound like you have too, strange.
By the way, it is a little easier on me because I have a decade on you, but the stares and whispers haven't ceased yet. Learn to find the humor in them and realize that there is nothing wrong at all with what you're doing. I've been with my boyfriend for nearly 3 years and I love him more than ever. I wish the same for you.
If it was normal, you'd see most 20 year old females with men 50+.
Do you think this is what is happening around you?
Are you only looking for validation and support? Do you really care whether it is normal or not?
Oh, no, I'm not looking for any validation. I just thought it'd be interesting to see what a wider range of people thought as opposed to the people I interact with daily, not to mention face-to-face interaction pushes more people to lie about what they're really thinking anyway.
So, in short, I was just curious.
I understand. And there's nothing wrong with wanting validation, by the way.
Just so that you are aware though, two thirds of the people that will be voting on your story are virgins under the age of 18, not exactly a wide range of people. You might be better off seeking out websites specifically designed for people who are involved in relationships with a 30+ difference in age.
It's normal that he has reached 50 years of age and that you have reached 20, yes. Neither of those are outside of the normal human lifespan. You didn't ask if it was normal that the two of you are together, so I won't answer that question.
I think it's normal. As long as yoor happy which it sounds like yoo are (: hope it works out for both of yoo (: x <3
Not old enough to be MY dad, to be fair. He's 61. He's actually the person most cool with it. He wasn't fazed at all. He was just happy I'm with someone who makes me happy, and said he only had problems if someone hurt me, which is the same thing my boyfriend says, so there's really no issue there.
Ha i think its funny that i looked at this post it was at 11 percent answered a question and it went down to 9 percent when i went back to the page lmfao but what ever floats your boat i knew a 20 year old that dated a 12 year old and there now both of age and married
Okay so I’m 20 years old and my partner is 50, and despite what anyone may think we both couldn’t be happier... and just putting it out there because unfortunately we live in a world full of judgment, I’m not a gold digger. We fell in love.. it wasn’t planned it just happened... I’m very mature for 20 and a lot of that is because of my childhood... we share a lot of the same interests and hobbies and we look forward to the future... it’s been 2 years now and nothing has changed, our love is only growing stronger.. for those of you out there that may find yourselves in a situation like mine and are unsure of what to do (because of what people might say) my advice would be to follow your heart , F*ck what anyone else thinks , if you both are happy then go for it! Age , weight , height ect . Means nothing when you love someone
I'm 20...so I do find it weird, I just finished college and am still trying to find my way in the world.. Haha I just though of my view on a 50 year old guy hitting on me and it was liek *shiver* But hey! Whatever floats your boat!
I'm a bit older than you, but I've seen some very handsome men in their 50's. The relationship is fine for now, but I don't see it having much of a future.
*of people
*is an not I an
*between adults not 3 adults
Autocorrect is flipping out on me today.
The older women y/man things just women getting of lightly as usual.Women support women no matter what and guys just can't be fucked arguing with them, pretty simple.
But yeah I go with fuckthis , whatever floats your boat.
I don't reckon it looks as weird as vise verse and has a much more realistic chance of lasting bc the older women thing just isn't logical for a guy or practical, ask Demi or a couple of million others. Guys tend to wanna be active much longer and tend to age much better. Usually over the long term they have a much higher sex drive unless they just aren't attracted to her anymore and stray like all fuck bc there's so many gorgeous girls around and they aren't by nature even meant to be with just one anyway. So what chance would an older women have long term but the odds are much more in your favor though.
So you were born when he was already THIRTY? That's bizarre, and downright disgusting.
What's wrong with you? I'm dead serious; there simply must be a deep-seated underlying issue here...so what is it?
No, there's no issue. We're genuinely in a loving relationship, so I don't appreciate the comment honestly. Actually, he was 29; my birthday hasn't passed this year. Now then, your point is moot because we aren't discussing 0 and 29; we're discussing 20 and 50 - both adult ages. For me to reject a connection like this based solely on age would honestly be stupid on my part. Also, considering only age as some people tend to is no more than discrimination in it's basic form.
What’s the issue? Fair enough there is a big age gap , but the 20 year old is an adult who is entitled to be with whoever she likes, why are people so judgmental it’s horrible... you think it’s “disgusting” because you’ve obviously never been in that situation, which is fair enough.. but have a little bit of respect for other people who are in it. Someone could be on here looking for advice and you write a comment like that? If two people are happy keep your opinion to yourself and leave them the fuck alone
It usually depends on this formula, which holds true across all ages:
Allowable Age Range = 1/2 your age + 7 to 2x your age - 14
or:
Age_min = A/2 + 7
Age_max = 2A - 14
However a better formula for modern society is this:
Age_min = A/St + 8
Age_max = St x A - 11
where St is your Stig's Number, which is calculated like this:
St = 1.7 + (Ih/Iy x Sk)
Ih = his income
Iy = your income
Sk = Skank Co-efficient
Here a table to help you calculate your Skank Co-efficient:
0.0 = virtuous as a nun.
0.1 = good girl
0.3 = normal
0.5 = slightly slutty
0.8 = complete slapper
1.2 = gold-digging whore
i wouldn't say 'it's the norm' but that doesn't mean its wrong, now if you were 16 that would be wrong but i think ur old enough to decide. Anyway if he's a good bloke and you guys actually have legit reasons for liking eachother above just aesthetic, then i personally would have no problem with it.
Also, I forgot to address one thing in the comments about death: I was really concerned about that because I really love him. He tells me not to worry because that takes away from what we have, and he also has really good genetics - plenty of people in his family have lived to be over 100. He also smoked for 30 years, and when a doctor checked out his lungs a few years ago, he actually had to ask him, "Are you sure you smoke?" So, I dont have to worry about that terribly much. My genetics are good, too, though. Not THAT good, but I still worry about going a good 10-20 years without him. However, that is not worth giving up what we have now. Not at all.
Normal. Look at Hollywood. It is only cool if your bf is old enough to be your dad.
We always have something to talk about. We've been hanging out whenever we possibly can since we started dating. It just never gets old. He doesn't have money right now, but he did grow up with it. This is actually the first time he hasn't because of some things that have come up. We met at work, but his profession is restaurant management, so he's going back in to that soon. I feel secure in a relationship with him, and he's never really had the experience of dating a nice girl like me (I'm the Build-A-Bear type, they've all been the hard drugs, all about me me type), so we're good for each other. Also, he doesn't have kids. I hope I covered everything relevant.
My dad is 52 and he dates younger women in their 20's all the time. Stop hating, people, society has its own rules, if society tells you that everybody needs a facelift or they wont fit in ,everybody will go get a facelift. Do what you want to do you only live once, stop worrying about all these other people's opinions. You only need to ask YOURSELF how you feel about it. At the end of your life, your gonna be wondering why you did or did not follow your heart. Not me or any of these other close minded opinions
I wouldn't want to date someone that much older than me, my bf's 6 years older. (I'm 18, he's 24) We even has some mild issues with just 6 years. But you're with someone who is from a completely different generation, I wouldn't imagine having enough in common with someone who was raised and grew up differently. AND, he only has 25 years left to live, max. (Average age in America for males to die is 70s) You have so much more life left, why not find someone you can grow old with, not who's already old.
At least, you're of legal age. In society, it seems to be more common and accepted if it's a older woman and a younger man. If it's the other way, society usually gives both a harder time. For instance, "the man is a pervert or the girl just want's his money."
Stereotypes and negativity are everywhere, but as long as the two of you are happy then that's all that matters:)
Are you serious? where do you live? It's the dead opposite everywhere else. It's far more common for an older man to date a younger woman, in almost ALL relationships the man is older. The other way round is when people start to think it's really weird. Woman get looked down on by everyone for dating a much younger man, all they think of is "is that his mum, gross"
With a man they just laugh and go "lucky guy!"
I have NEVER seen it any different to this in my life.
I'm am serious, it's based on experiences. I live in a state on the east coast that borders a southern state. Perhaps, the people where I live have more "conservative"views when it comes to love?
It's alot less common for a woman to be older in a relationship period. "conservative" would be the opposite of what your saying.
Well, then it would be "old-fashioned". I've have heard people get judgmental over a cougar relationship, but the reaction is nowhere near as bad when it's a older man/younger woman.
I know this post is hella old, but I agree with you. It's almost like being a "cougar" is fashionable right now. Not that older women/younger men bother me. I agree it should just be about who makes you happy (provided both parties are legally able to consent).
Just curious, does he have kids? If he has kids your age or older it'd be kinda awkward for them..just saying.