Is it normal that my boyfriend hasn't given me an orgasm in over a yr?

55% Normal
13 Comments

Ok, so my boyfriend & I have been together over 5yrs. 2yrs ago he was diagnosed with diabetes & shortly after that, our sex life went to hell in a handbasket! I'm lucky if he lasts 10 minutes, he doesn't even really stay hard, its always the missionary position, & I ALWAYS end up unsatisfied! I don't know what to do or how to tactfully/nicely broach the subject. I'm sure he knows, but it really doesn't seem like he cares. The foreplay is practically nonexistent. I can "take care of myself"...& I have been, but that isn't the point. I'm at my wits end. Its to the point where I don't even want to have sex with him because I feel unsatisfied & resentful afterwards. Any input would be gladly appreciated!

Voting Results
55% Normal
Based on 11 votes (6 yes)
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Comments ( 13 )
  • dappled
    11 years ago

    "I'm sure he knows, but it really doesn't seem like he cares."

    I'm not saying you're wrong about this, but you *are* making an assumption. Maybe he really doesn't know.

    It doesn't have to be a conversation, per se. You could lead him into it. Anything from a "you know what I'm in the mood for?" to finding an erotic video with scenes that really turn you on and making sure he gets the message that this is what you want. It doesn't have to be an affront to his masculinity. If you say things like, "Oh God, that scene turns me on so much" hopefully he'll realise what you mean. If he's really dense (no offence to your boyfriend, but some men are) then be blunt, like, "I love it if someone did that to me" or the ultra-blunt "I'm horny. Will you do that to me right now?"

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    • mindyg
      11 years ago

      I have asked him to do specific things to me, but he only does them for about 30 seconds - if I'm lucky! In the beginning of our relationship - even the first 3yrs, I would say - I didn't even have to ask...he would just do these things. So I wonder if the diabetes has just completely lowered his sex drive, or time has just made him complacent? Either way, it really sucks for me!

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      • peterr
        10 years ago

        Get rid of him and I will take you to new heights of intense orgasm. We will be spontaneous and inventive. We will cum so much that everyone will see us glowing.

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  • What'sright
    11 years ago

    If you would like to know what I mean by my sex drive is 100 miles per hour, look at my profile.

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  • What'sright
    11 years ago

    By changing my diet I mean I cut out a lot of the fatty foods. Go to www.webmd.com. Look up erectile dysfunction. Also he may want to start taking the vitamins A, B6, C, and E. These vitamins deal directly with a mans testosterone. Diabetes and high blood pressure both play hell on a mans testosterone. This is one of the main chemicals in a man body the helps bring about the hard on. Also look up sensual exercises. This will give physical exercises that will help produce better blood flow in the groin area. The second main factor. Is he over weight? This can cause a loss of erection as the blood can't get to his dick to inflate it. I hope this helped.

    Thank you for feeling my wife is lucky. I am the one that usually satisfies myself. She has no sex drive and mine is 100 miles an hour. Sorry to hear he's not much on the oral side. I love the taste of pussy especially when the lady cums. That just makes me eat a little longer and usually she will squirt all over my face when she has the second orgasm.

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  • What'sright
    11 years ago

    I have diabetes, yes it can cause a erectile dysfunction in many degrees. This means from a limp dick to a spongey erection. My erections were not rock hard for about a year. However, I changed my diet, quit smoking, and limited my alcohol intake. Now my erections are rock solid. My wife would never go unsatisfied because I like eating her to much. What ever the case I always made sure she came at least once.

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    • mindyg
      11 years ago

      Yup, he's got both. As far as changing his diet, he has cut out sodas, ice cream, and sweets. He doesn't smoke and is barely a social drinker...yet the problem persists. He is not big on oral sex (giving)...hence, my unsatisfaction. Your wife is lucky.

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      • peterr
        10 years ago

        I will suck you off until you beg me to stop.

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  • mindyg
    11 years ago

    I love him, and I want to be with him...but this - SEX - is something that is so important! We were so compatible in the first few years of our relationship - we had sex practically every day, we tried every position, and it lasted long whiles! So it has been quite a shock to me to now have to deal wit!h maybe twice a week, missionary position, and 5-10 minutes! He orgasms every time, so to him the "satisfaction" is still there. When we are done, he may cuddle, but he just ultimately falls asleep...leaving me frustrated and unsatisfied. I don't harp at him about it or complain because as unsatisfied as I am, I don't want to hurt his feelings.

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  • dr.rhed
    11 years ago

    i never tried having hardcore sex,, but maybe he feels ashamed for you.

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  • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
    11 years ago

    Communication. Communication. Communication.

    And by "Communication," I don't mean "pick a fight with him for not putting out" or any scenario where you harp at him for it.

    What I mean is you both talk and listen to each other's needs. If need be, have a counselor as well. But the main point is you BOTH listen to each other, not just one person complaining about the other

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  • prasatko
    11 years ago

    Have you ever tried to initiate cunnilingus (you receiving oral sex) or manual stimulation of your genitals by his hand or having sex in a different position? Has he refused to participate in these activities or is it non-existent because nobody initiates them?

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  • ygrowup
    11 years ago

    This maybe normal with someone that is early in the disease, but it does not have to be that way! You have already wasted so much time, start talking with him about it, then a doctor or other professional! Things are not good for either of you like they are! Unless of course you are already considering seeking out another for pleasure! Good luck with your choices

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