Is it normal that my boyfriend got married so fast but not anymore?

51% Normal
14 Comments

My boyfriend married his first wife when he was about 20 after only dating her for about 6 months and just decided one day to go to the court house and get married. It didn't last very long and they got divorced after she started working as a stripper. ha.

We've been dating for two years and all he wants to give me is a promise ring. I'm way out of high school and really would like an engagement ring stat. He's in the military and will be going out of the country for a year. Is it too much to ask that I get an engagement ring before he leaves instead of a promise ring? If it is a promise ring, I'm not sure if I can accept it but I don't want to be left with no ring at all.

I've been told a promise ring is just given to keep a girl around with no actual commitment. Is this true? Of course maybe his first failed marriage may have made him a bit more cautious but he tells me he wants to be together forever so why wait? I don't know what to do. I can't really threaten I'll leave him because he and I both know I won't. Is it normal to be this angry about my boyfriend not committing to me as fast as his ex?

Also, he uses the excuse that his brother and his girlfriend have been together 7 years and still aren't married, however, I'm pretty sure that's because he's waiting for her to lose weight....

Voting Results
51% Normal
Based on 35 votes (18 yes)
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Comments ( 14 )
  • HelloNurse!
    12 years ago

    I'm not sure as to why there is such a rush... But an engagement ring doesn't ensure anything, heck a marriage doesn't anymore either. I got a promise ring from my first boyfriend 6 months into our relationship, we were together 7 years and split. Best thing that ever happened. If i rushed into a marriage i would be paying for a divorce.. If you can't accept what he's willing to give you, then you are in it for the wrong reasons..

    And I promise you, if you keep bothering him about it, you will never see the ring you want. Support your man, show him you're their for him regardless and ENJOY the relationship, I mean that's what their really about right..Good luck

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  • Andrew897897
    12 years ago

    If you want to marry him but scared of his past,why don't you forget it and ask him?

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  • xstarbugyx
    12 years ago

    If marriage is something you want and not what he wants you will be waiting a very long time. Try at least over 7 Yeats since he used his brother as a hint to back off about gettin engaged

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  • georgienne
    12 years ago

    *not want

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  • georgienne
    12 years ago

    Youre impatient.
    He's thinking it through this time, and good on him.
    Either get off your ass and ask him, or sit and wait til he's decided if he wants to marry you. He may bit want marriage anymore.

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  • wigsplitz
    12 years ago

    You sound like a jealous bitch!

    Oh, why won't he marry ME as fast as he married HER...jealous.

    She became a stripper-TOTALLY unnecessary, hateful and possibly jealous comment.

    I don't know if I can accept the promise ring but I don't want to have NO ring?? I want an engagement ring stat?? WHAT?? Bitch.

    And you assume your brother is waiting for his girlfriend to lose weight before he marries her?? WHAT?? Why even say that? What does that comment lend to the story?? Totally bitchy and stupid.

    No wonder he doesn't want to marry you.

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    • ProudlyOneHundred%
      12 years ago

      Geez dude, what the heck? It's just a simple question I'm pretty sure thousands of other women would like answered, no need to explode like that . . .

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      12 years ago

      Ha! yup should have left out the stripper comment. oops. My mind was just kind of jumbled. I just wanted advice but thank you for pointing out that I'm a bitch. I'll take that into consideration.

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  • randomjelly
    12 years ago

    2. I've gone retarded.

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  • randomjelly
    12 years ago

    It's only been 10 years. He's matured from his past relationships. Follow his lead.

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  • boredman6.6
    12 years ago

    Your sort of being a bitch about the whole situation. Sorry but maybe you should chill the fuck out a bit about the ring, if he isn't ready and you actually want to be with him what's the big deal about waiting a little longer.

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  • dachocolatesuperman87
    12 years ago

    Maybe his first marriage made him never wanna be married again. I'm pretty sure that hes not the same guy that he was before he married the "STRIPPER".

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  • hardcandy
    12 years ago

    Uh.. I think he realized he made a mistake the first time around, and now wants to be sure of you first.

    Don't get upset about a promise ring, though. I got one after FIVE YEARS of dating, and the engagement ring after six. Funny thing, I never wear the engagement ring, but always wear the promise ring. =)

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      12 years ago

      Thank you so much...that helps a lot!

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