Is it normal that my boyfriend goes through my private stuff?

8% Normal
13 Comments

Me and my bf have been together for 3 yrs however he's always been the noisy type. I've caught him numeral times going through my phone while I wasn't in the room. He's gone through my email before without me knowing. He also likes to get on my computer and look at my search history that I just recently found out. On top of that he stayed at my house oneday while I was gone, I noticed things out of order in my closet, I know he was going through it. I have private notebooks and stuff up there and im pretty sure he's gone through them. Isnt there some sort of limit or extent to a relationship and privacy? And yes I've had a conversation with him about it before but I just feel like I always have to wipe my tracks behind me no matter what I do

Voting Results
8% Normal
Based on 289 votes (23 yes)
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Comments ( 13 )
  • chatter289
    13 years ago

    I think his behavior in this manner might be because maybe he is insecure. I will admit i have searched through my bf's phone and email and even history, even though i know i will not find anything. But him searching your close and stuff is a little too much. I think this irrational behavior may have started as being simple curious to now become habitual. It becomes more like a routine and unable to control himself from doing it. From my point of view... i do NOT think this will be easy for him to back off from doing what he is doing.

    Also consider if there are any trust issues between the two of you. That is also another factor which may be contributing to his behavior.

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  • ladytron17
    13 years ago

    Maybe he thinks you're lying to him. Have an honest chat with him, tell him how much it hurts you to see him distrust you, and try to show him that you love him. It isn't right of him, but he may be thinking he's losing you.

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  • Ldizzy1234
    13 years ago

    Even if you have nothing to hide, it's still wrong what he's doing. So you say you've already spoken to him about it? And he still hasn't stopped? Well, it's all in your hands now. You should tell him one more time, but firmly that what he's doing is being disrespectful. And tell him that if he continues it, you guy's are finished. I don't even think married couple's act that nosey.

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  • kittylitter101
    11 years ago

    If you don't like it so much you have two options.
    1) Break up with him
    2) Don't have anything to hide and get over it

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  • sprite
    12 years ago

    you may well find that if it stops being a problem for you he might stop. All the time you behave suspiciously (like hiding your tracks) he is going to think you have something to hide and continue. Particularly if he is feeling insecure.

    Both of you should give permission to go through each others stuff, then eventually you can call a halt to it.

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  • 8Serene8
    13 years ago

    Again who cares if he is? If you have nothing to hide then what's the problem? If you don't like it, then
    Go through his stuff and see how he reacts. Either way I see nothing wrong with couples going through each others stuff if neither have anything to hide.

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  • Askyouknow
    13 years ago

    Don't be fooled his trying out your clothes!

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    • sweetandhappy
      7 years ago

      Yes he is, I had a boyfriend that dressed in lingerie and wigs and watched transvestite porn in the basement after I left for work. I caught him one day when I came home early, JEEEZZZZ. You never know, I had no idea!!!

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  • omglookitsagoat
    13 years ago

    dump him. he's crazy and should respect you.

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    Go through his stuff.

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  • scribblez83
    13 years ago

    go through his stuff, and don't hide the fact that your doing it.

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  • kelseyt
    13 years ago

    I don't think that's right of him. And you say you already talked to him about it but he still won't stop? Maybe he has paranoia or other psyhological issues. Or maybe he has something to hide.

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  • dafattyfat
    13 years ago

    Going through the phone is pretty normal, i do it out of habit, i know i'll never find anything on there, but i just like to
    for awhile i tried going through messages, but then i realized that that's not right, and is unfair, so i stopped.
    So no, thats not normal, you should talk to him.

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