Is it normal that my boyfriend does this?

15% Normal

My boyfriend like RPGs, especially online ones. He'll spend 5-6 hours a day on it playing with his friend (he knows him from school). The thing is between his work and his video game, there isn't much time left for me. A couple times when I'd bring that up he'd roll his eyes and keep playing for an hour then get off and just flop on the bed starring at the ceiling. And I'd feel guilty for making get off his game. The only time he'll even look at me is if I'm crying. His friends say that I could do better, but I love him. We live together and our sex life has seriously suffered. I am a VERY fit young woman, so when I wear lingerie and thigh lengthed stocking with heels and ask him while playing his game if he want to join me in the bedroom, I don't expect and certain am not use to being given a confused look and asked why and being ignored again. When we first got together, I told him I want to have sex twice a day, and he said no problem. Now I get it MAYBE once a week. I feel alone even if we are in the same room as each other. After he is done with his games, he just crashes in bed. He feels distant all the time and when I asked him if he wanted to break up, he looked offended and said the he loves me and I should know that. Is it normal for my boyfriend totally ignore me and avoid me like this?

Voting Results

15% Normal

Based on 94 votes (14 yes)

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Comments ( 31 )

Sog

11 years ago

He sounds very immature. Not necessarially for the videogame playing, but for the way that he treats you and handles his emotions.

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Mmmpfh

11 years ago

This really annoys me. I love playing videogames and there will always be days when I will play 5 or 6 hours and just waste myself away, but back when I had a girlfriend I would always put the game down for her. I barely played games in her presence and would answer any texts/phone calls from her even if I was playing online.
I thought I was kind of addicted but he sounds ridiculous. :\

P.S: You sound like you have good taste in lingerie. But then again, is there any such thing as bad taste in lingerie? :D

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  :)Thank you, I've had gamer boyfriends in the past and when I walk into the room completely nude, the controller always went down without me even asking. Thats why I'm getting frustrated.
  
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  - Mmmpfh
    
    11 years ago
    
    I took a quick scan of the comments above just there and I think moving back to your parents for a little while may be your best course of action. By this point if you take no action at all it's just going to get worse. FORCE him to realise what torture he's putting you through mentally and see if he realises that his ways need to change.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      11 years ago
      
      :( Moving back with my Dad isn't really an option. But I agree I need to move out. I told him to consider the idea of a break. I'm doing it regardless, but letting he in on it gives him time to adjust.
      
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      - Mmmpfh
        
        11 years ago
        
        That's a very nice idea :]
        It's pretty mean when women just get up and leave without giving you fair warning in a relationship. Happens too often. But you've given him tons of warning and plenty of signs towards the critical state of the relationship. You sound like you're handling this incredibly well!
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        11 years ago
        
        He seems to be smartening up really fast and treating me nicely. Although I know it won't last very long, so I'm still planning on moving out. I'm not one for empty threats.
        
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dom180

11 years ago

Just leave him. I'm sure he'll be fine without you and you'll be a lot better off without him.

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Curiosity73

11 years ago

Don't love him more than yourself and you will get the right answer! :)

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  Thanks, this really helped.
  
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kelili

11 years ago

Your bf is not treating you right and there is nothing normal in that situation. You're being very patient with him

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  He's 23 turning 24 this year, but I'm his first girlfriend. I feel since I have more experience, I should be patient. But the more I give the less I get. If I cry because I'm lonely or sad, he goes into a rage. Yelling about how he can't do anything right. D:
  
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  - chatter289
    
    11 years ago
    
    No hun you should NOT be patient. A relationship takes 2 people to make it work. Where you stand is NOT a relationship.
    
    I know you love him and I know its tough but chick, tell him to hit the fucking road! He has chosen the game over you, he does not remotly seem to try or even try and 'make it up to you'. Please, for your sake and you sounds like a great girl and do so much. You will find someone who will appreciate you i promise. Till then, pick up some back bone, get some pride in you and tell him to do one.
    
    It seems to me that he knows he can do what he is doing and get away with it because you are forgiving. And honey the fact that you cry and he gets angry.. that is NOT love. Love is support, intimacy, friendship, understanding and I cant put this asshole in neither boxes! LEAVE HIM. Have some pride in yourself! You're no ones door nob and sure as hell will not beg for his lazy d**k!
    
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    - shpendalf
      
      10 years ago
      
      You're telling her to leave that guy even tho she loves him, leaving that guy will only cause her sadness but the guy will still be living his everyday life which is all games..
      
      @kelili Join him at what he's doing, you'll understand him better and he'll understand you too once he needs you ingame he'll answer to you in real life as well.
      
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  - kelili
    
    11 years ago
    
    Oh just hope and pray that eventually things will straighten out.
    
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[Old Memory]

11 years ago

In all honesty I would feel awkward if a woman was that forward with me regarding lingerie and other stupid crap, but I am not normal, most guys would jump at that.

He probably is doing the relationship thing because he feels pressured to do it, if his video games seem to be more important then you its because they probably are, he wont admit it but its probably the truth.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  The thing is, I was the one pressured into the relationship... I was living on the other side of the country very happily but was getting upset and mad about me not being with him. He told me to drop out a move down here and I did. Whenever I try and break it off, he flips out big time. Like literally throwing a tantrum.
  
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  - Mmmpfh
    
    11 years ago
    
    I think your relationship needs a break. Move out for a while (move in with a close friend or some family in the meantime), distance yourself and take time to think about the relationship as a whole. It sounds like it's at the snapping point so it's a sink or swim situation.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      11 years ago
      
      Thats part of the problem. I moved across the country to be with him, and don't know anyone here.
      
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      - ccjigsaw
        
        11 years ago
        
        You can get to know people there. Go out, take some courses in the college. Or move home. If you give a kid candy because they throw a tantrum just to shut them up, you're basically raising a big lazy shit like your bf. Get my drift? Go home. And when he's throws a tantrum you tell him to grow the fuck up and put his big boy pants on, cause you're NOT his mother, and you don't HAVE to be there for him.
        
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Fammer3

11 years ago

It's normal.
Unless;
Tell him how you feel, how you TRULY feel. If he doesn't change his behavior then, he obviously doesn't value you above other things.

I don't know if you've already done this, but in general girls don't really say what bothers them until it is too late. Don't let that happen!

Be honest with each other and things will work out just fine.

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Oh_Hai_There

11 years ago

I don't get why he would want you with him so badly if all he does around you is play video games. I know if I had the chance go live with the one I love, I wouldn't waste that wonderful time. I suggest having a talk with him about it.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  He says gaming is his own personal time, I just wish there was time left for me.
  
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  - Oh_Hai_There
    
    11 years ago
    
    I am a gamer and I have a girl. She's beautiful. I would rather spend time with the person who means the world to me than play video games. Honestly, if he can't get his priorities in check, then he doesn't deserve you.
    
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mgmtbiker13

11 years ago

You should dress up like a character from his game and physically role play with him in bed. Learn about the game and surprise him with it. Might be worth a shot.

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ccjigsaw

11 years ago

Ok. If you had a boyfriend that constantly ignored you cause he works. You can be under standing. If you have a boyfriend who constantly ignored you for VIDEO GAMES. Dump his stupid ass!!! He's sounds like such an asshole :/ how unwanted would that make you feel!! He looks at you like he's confuzed???? He's a healthy male I'm assuming, he's not fucking confuzed, he's just a lazy asshole. It doesn't matter WHAT a person in SO into that they can't pay attention to their girlfriend/real life. It doesn't matter if it's tv, videogames, working out, jogging, eating, singing, or whatever the fuck makes a person obsessed, it just plain sucks to get ignored like that! Holy shit girl!!! Move ooonnnn

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Are You Normal?

Is it normal that my boyfriend does this?