Is it normal that my boyfriend does not believe in marriage?

The thing is, do you want to be able to visit your spouse in the hospital? In jail? Do you want to be there at their death bed?

Marriage is no longer a solely religious institutuion. The federal government extends over 1000 special rights to married couples, and trust me, you're gonna want that. If youre not married, you're not related to your spouse, and there are a lot of things you're not allowed to do

This basically means you have a clash in VALUES. There should be a tolerance of each others' differences, but when it starts to bother you, think about it because it could lead to problems in the future.

do you think he will be faithful.. he is an atheist after all

personally, i think getting married matters. if youre not married, your boyfriend wont have an immediate say in medical or financial business. and if youre one of those girls who has been dreaming of walking down the aisle in a white gown, you need to find someone who has the same interest in mind.

He sounds like a well-educated, kind, and philosophically-inclined man. I hope he is not a preachy atheist, need more on the passive side :P anyways, I agree, its just a piece of paper, a few changes in your documents, and a 'lifetime' commitment that ends with divorces sometimes. If marriage was really something that big, it would have 'power' over the couple, and 'install' tha values of marriage in them. In which case, this doesn't happen, you have to do them yourself. So lets see, when your married, you can have.... Sex, Children, Get Divorced, Live with each other, Share rent, go on dates, sing, breathe, swim, read, speak, and alot more things. When your not married, Sex, Children, Break Up, live with each other, share rent, go on dates, sing, breathe, swim, read, speak, ect. So yes, Marriage to some people is useless, to others it means everything. Your boyfriend is also right in another aspect, it is a old religious thing, marriage isn't all-powerful, doesn't have physical control over people, just like god or allah does, but it holds 'spirtual' sway, so-to-speak, like you said, it helps you feel like he really is committed to just you and no one else, just like when you believe in god (most of the times) it feels like he is watching over you. So to wrap it up, no its not normal, not many people can see past the whole smoke and mirrors of the concept of "Marriage". I'm not saying its something to be abolished, and that people who believe in it are stupid or naive, but its not for some people, and i assume your in the States, where people are free to do as they please so long as the law says so. (:

My parents have been together a good 25 years and never were married. It's just a title and a show that costs thousands of dollars. Plus today getting married lost it's meaning, just look at the rate of divorces.

I'm not really religious, I told him that if it meant that much to him for us to not get married, then I'd be okay with that and we wouldn't because I love him that much. But thanks for all the insight, I really understand what you guy are saying, makes sense

wise (first reply above) truly is.

It will be extremely difficult to make it with someone that doesn't share your basic values. Maybe impossible.

I have always looked at marriage from a practical perspective. It seems to me it is a legal arrangement that 1) provides for the joint ownership of property; and 2)legitimizes the byproduct of a (hetero)sexual relationship: children.

Do marriages fail at a higher rate than any other relationships? I don't think so.

You are right to doubt his trustworthiness. Find someone that shares your values and goals.

I'm also an atheist don't believe in marriage anyway, it was created as an institution. It has nothing to do with love but over the years people began thinking "hey how nice would it be to be married to someone you love!"

Marriage also get's translated into settling down. Not a fan of that either. And a fact is when you go through different stages of relationships people change. I've had guys change 180 when i admit i love them, and 180 if i live with them too. Not a good change but everyone does this. I can only imagine how much a person changes after marriage.

But i also understand your point. other than the things i pointed out, marriage also means to love forever. And unless he can think of another way to prove that you'll be unsatisfied. If the problem continues to bother you, sit him down and have a talk "I understand you don't believe in marriage. But i still need a way to prove that we care about eachother."

Married people statistically end up feeling trapped and resentful towards eachother, cheating (if they havent let their looks slide), have kids out of boredome..... feel more traped after kids......increasingly broke....then well..... divorced in most cases (or maybe living the dream).
I think that there are other ways .... that I dare to say are more reflective of true love and committment. Sometimes I think that marriage is for people that are insecure and fear that their significant other may stray if they dont have that paper. If you really love him and he really loves you it will be natural.
Like WISE said, you have clashing values.... especially if your religous and he isnt. If its important to you, it wont last, dont waste your time.

PLenty of people do not get married. In the US gays legally cant get married in most states, but I know gay couples who have been together for ages. My partner is also an atheist who did not believe in marriage. If you wanna convince an atheist that marriage is good, you need valid reasons. I would say: Marriage will allow me to get your benefits/ healthcare. If we were married we could apply for a mortgage together. etc.
If he still sees marriage a solely religious, offer to be married in a court of law, without religion: at that point it becomes only a contract of division of goods. The root of his problem might not really be religion, but an inability to commit. Offer non-religious aspects of marriage, if he still resists, it's probably his inability to commit.\

Marriage is a partnership that brings two families together. It extends far beyond the two people named on the document. This is how society functions.

Marriage was once a means to support a new partnership as the couple settles into their new roles for society. These roles have changed, especialy for women. There is a new phase to life that exists between the parents home and the marriage home. Is marriage necessary? I think yes, the rules are just evolving. What it means to the individual is personal, but what it means to the community can't be ignored.

Definitely not a keeper, cut your losses and move on. You will only have more heartbreak and pain! Good luck with your choices.