Is it normal that my boyfriend changed his mind about sex?

37% Normal
15 Comments

I've been dating this guy for about 3 months now, and it's been great. During the first few weeks of the relationship, we were very passionate with one another and had a sexual component to our relationship. After a while though, he started to make up excuses to get out of doing anything sexual. For instance, we used to sleep together (he lives in my building), but he explained to me that he 'liked his regular bedtime routine' and that he would rather sleep alone. A few days later, he stopped me in the middle of things getting heated up to tell me out outfront that he didn't want to do anything sexual with me "ever". Ever since, we have stuck to holding hands and kissing. All of this is fine with me, but I find it a bit odd considering the sexual desire he displayed in the beginning of the relationship. Also, we are both college students open to premarital sex, with plenty of opportunity to do so.

Lately I have been obsessing over trying to figure out what changed his mind about sex. I know he's not gay, because he loves making out and will even say suggestive things to me while we're doing so. Sometimes it hurts because it has lowered my self-esteem (though he assures me it's not me). What is going on in his head?

Voting Results
37% Normal
Based on 52 votes (19 yes)
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Comments ( 15 )
  • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
    12 years ago | pl

    Maybe he just isn't in the mood.

    Men have the right to say "no" just as much as women do.

    and sometimes they may have a change of heart and want to wait and develop the relationship more first.

    Just because he humped you before does not mean he's not allowed to say "let's take it slow... I changed my mind."

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    • LightningTechnician
      12 years ago

      You tell them bro!

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  • chope
    12 years ago

    I like the herpes comment

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  • Darkoil
    12 years ago

    Might have an outbreak of herps.

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  • chatter289
    12 years ago

    sometimes these kinds of changes MAY, it may not be necessarily true,be because of cheating. I remember when me and my bf got together and after a few months into the relationship he didnt really want any sex.. found out a year later that he was having cyber sex and talking dirty and being on cam with other women.. it explans why he would always be in his dorm all the time doing 'uni work', which of course was not entirely true.

    Keep an eye out.. PLEASE do not let this get to your self esteem, it will screw you over. Get your self esteem back up by maybe getting a new hair do, dying it, cutting it off, change of clothes, so do something FOR YOU, something that will make you feel good about you

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    He sounds like a closet homosexual.

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  • iwonderif
    12 years ago

    Cheater?

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    This may sound like an odd answer but I think I might understand him. He wants to keep you pure and beautiful. To him, sex isn't beautiful but you are. He doesn't want to associate you with sex because the act is gross. He likes making out with you because there's passion behind it. Kissing is "pure" in essence. Also, you guys have been dating for 3 month, maybe you guys should slow it down. Talk to him about how you feel because he probably knows that this will cause some turmoil in your relationship.

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    • ChasingAfterPond<3
      12 years ago

      I generally like your opinion on the situation, it somewhat corresponds with my advice. (: good advice(: although I don't necessarily think that sex is a disgusting act, it can be beautiful if you and the person you are having it with love each other, or in other words, your making love with that person.

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      • [Old Memory]
        12 years ago

        Thank you. I agree with what you're saying, making love appears a lot better than having sex. Although I do find sexual stuff to be kind of gross but not if it involves someone I love.

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  • ccjigsaw
    12 years ago

    Well I feel like there is no communication on this one, of all the comments, if those are his reasons, he should talk to you. Sounds like a nice enough hguy, but tell him it concerns you and you'd like a good reason

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  • ChasingAfterPond<3
    12 years ago

    Maybe he just wants to slow down with your guys physical relationship and focus more on the emotionalbpart of it. Its ok for a guy to want to slow down. So dont be too worried about it, maybe he just doesnt want to rush anything(:

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    @anime4 you are totally right. I'm a guy and that's how i think. Also @angel: thank you so much. I tried to say no to a girl once and she got all mad and stuff and i ended up feeling really used, but i couldnt tell anyone about it without them laughing and calling me gay

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  • SHOWERHAWK
    12 years ago

    AIDS.

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  • 1brianna1
    12 years ago

    definatly not.

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