Is it normal that my boyfriend can't stay away from other girls?

22% Normal
19 Comments

I love my boyfriend, I really do, but he can't stop touching other girls.

ex: we were at a pool party once, and we were chilling and my older sister was there, and he grabbed her hand, and held it.

"I was just goofing around, I didn't know it meant anything." -him

Whenever he does, it just turns out to be very inappropriate. So I just asked him, can you please just stop touching other girls? It always gets inappropriate, and I'm tired of fighting over it.

And he doesn't stop. Today he was messing around with my twin, and he shoved her, and his hand hit her breast. I hate sounding controlling and all that, but with what he's done, I don't know if it was an "accident" or he meant it. No, I'm not explaining everything, or that will take a long time. Please trust me on this.

I'm tired of fighting, I'm tired of being paranoid, I don't want to break up with him, so don't just say, "BREAK UP WITH HIM!" I want all possible things to do, not one.

Please, I'm desperate here.

Voting Results
22% Normal
Based on 105 votes (23 yes)
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Comments ( 19 )
  • dappled
    12 years ago

    I'll be blunt. You're in a relationship with someone who isn't respecting your wishes. Do you want to be in that kind of relationship or not? It's a question for you, not a question for us.

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    • Lurker
      12 years ago

      Well, this is for other people too, but you're the first one.

      I'm a stupid teenager. No, I'm not friggin' 14, I'm older than that, but still count as a teenager. I've had sex with him. I love him. And I'm stupid, I know that. I know it's not right for him to do that, I just don't know. I'm one of those people that are all for working things out, I mean, if he does it again and I catch him, people told me to threaten dumping him, or do the same things to him. It seems that he understands more once I do the same thing to him.

      I really love him. Before all of this, he has been there for me. I mean, I was in a pretty fucked up relationship before him, and as friends he helped me learn to love myself. Then you know, we started dating.

      I don't think I would do well single (more stupidity) because we slept together, and I'm just staring at him, knowing that we've made love and I would still love him.

      I feel so fucking stupid, I took his virginity, and...I just have self esteem issues, everything will just go downhill.

      I see so much good in him, and this stuff happens, and I am so torn, which is why I am asking for help.

      I really don't know what to do.

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      • dappled
        12 years ago

        I understand it's difficult and I understand that it hurts. Normally, I give people the advice wrapped in a comfort blanket and I didn't with you. If you wanted that, I'm sorry I didn't do that. You have to look back at my first reply, though. I said it because it's true and because I care; even if it wasn't a fluffy answer.

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        • Lurker
          12 years ago

          I wasn't expecting anyone too - I just want to know what to do, because I have no idea.

          I hurt, but he said he will change. I don't know, I feel like I just need someone to tell me what to do, even though they can't. It's my choice, and I'm just sitting here, trying to believe he'll change. And if he doesn't, then I guess it's over.

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          • dappled
            12 years ago

            I'd never tell you what to do. I'd never tell anyone what to do. What you said at the end of your last post is how I'd see things if I was in your position, though. I think you've already got the answer you wanted, but are struggling to accept it. Good luck. I mean that. :)

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    Listen to Dappled.

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  • Mel
    12 years ago

    What other answer is there...besides DUMP HIM?!? Apparently you dont think to highly of yourself, to be with a guy who completely disrespects you. You already talked to him about it, & he didnt listen. Soooo IF you stay with him, in MY opinion...you deserve what you get.

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    How disrespectful ! Him to you, and you to yourself ;) You don't deserve that and you can do better, why put yourself in such a situation when you don't have to? Tell him "you like touching girls so much, then touch them all you want, but you ain't touching me!" and leave :(

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  • Faceless
    12 years ago

    Listen to Floydzcloud.

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    • bigtoy
      12 years ago

      Listen to faceless

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  • -WhySoSerious-
    12 years ago

    Can I have you and your twin sis for a drink at my house?

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    Listen to Faceless but don't listen to Floyd.

    But who says you have to listen to me?

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  • Mersaphe
    10 years ago

    Think of it as a compliment. He was only fooling around with your sister and twin. At least it wasn't some random girls. The fact that he is attracted to people who are related to you means he likes you even more.

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  • buttons
    11 years ago

    How about you try ti talk to him about this very seriously and in private without raised emotions, mentally prepare yourself for any of the stupid excuses he will give you and so that you can stay calm during the talk. When you talk to him express how important this is to you and how affected you are and what you think its doing to your relationship. If it seems he does not care, continues to get over-defensive, etc, but I'm sorry you should keep your dignity and dump him, if he seems sincerely sorry and wants to change continue reading. Okay, so when you're talking to him ask him how he would feel if the situation was reversed, hopefully he will be affected, if he is not affected by hearing about you touching another man inappropriately, then he is a serious pervert. But hopefully with open communication you can see what you really deserve! Whether on your own, or with a boyfriend who you can respect and trust, it will get better. Stay strong!

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  • theabider
    12 years ago

    If you want advice other than "DUMP HIM" here it is. Be communicative. Sit down for a long serious discussion. Not just a little fight, or a "you're pissing me off" rant. If you really love this guy, you will be able to be 100% honest with him and tell him how much you are hurting. MAKE him see it from your point of view. Tell him you love him, would never want to hurt him, and wonder why he is hurting you. Ask him if how he feels about you. Tell him you see good in him, and want things to work out, but are afraid they can't without his effort. Then, finally, give him an ultimatum. Say "I love you, I want this to work, and I know you can do it. I trust you to respect me over the next period of time, and will do my very best to please and respect you. If for any reason, you are unable to do this, our relationship must end." And stick to your word. Best wishes!

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    I meant :)

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  • Sweetz
    12 years ago

    Repetitive excuses like it was an "accident".... Yep. Dump the fucker.

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  • DannyKanes
    12 years ago

    That wasn't an accident. This guy has absolutely no respect for you. Dump his ass.

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    Listen to me.

    Do what he's doing to guys and see how he reacts.

    Or break up with him if he doesn't care to listen to you. You don't need someone who's supposed to love you keep hurting you.

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