Is it normal that my boyfriend acts this way?

20% Normal
14 Comments

Okay well here is some back ground information about our relationship: We have dated before and broken up (because we were not faithful in our relationship) but after talking everything over we put it behind us and got back together, I am 18 and he is 19. I'm going to college in the fall. And after hearing my plans for college he has decided that he is going to go to the same college in the spring of next year.

Now the problem is that my boyfriend acts really strange a lot of the times (I guess out of jealousy) he is always saying how I'm probably cheating on him or just playing with him because I could do better than him, and he says that he loves me ( and I really care about him too). He reads through my text messages and whenever i'm texting near him he'll look at my phone as I text and if its a guy he'll be like "whose so and so." He complains that I talk to too many guys but I have more guy friends than girl friends. I spent the weekend with him and last night he said that he wanted me to text him and ask his permission whenever i was going to go places without him even to the store, but after i questioned him about it he finally said he was just joking. He needs to know ALL my guy friends, and I have to ask permission before I hang out with any of them. Also when we were hanging out this past week he saw some old messages from this guy that had been texting me dirty messages I stopped replying at all to the guy but he still sent them, my boyfriend saw them while i was sitting on top of him and he pushed me off of him unto the floor and was saying i'm a whore, and bitch to his ex girlfriend. Then he puts on facebook about how he wishes other guys didn't exist. To top it off he just told me that he wanted me to get pregnant with his baby and that no guy would want to be with me if I was.

Voting Results
20% Normal
Based on 50 votes (10 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 14 )
  • Karateneko
    12 years ago

    ...Don't worry, you aren't alone. My boyfriend was like this too, and I know how hard it is to let go, but he could make you feel sooo bad that it's worth breaking up with him now... I know you really care about him, but when guys act like that, the relationship is headed in the wrong direction. And yes, it is mainly jealousy, but he could also have a different way of thinking about things than most people, so he can't help it. Idk exactly what causes it, but I've seen a lot of guys who get that jealous.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
  • Zoroaster
    12 years ago

    Wow, that is some serious jealousy you are dealing with there. I pity that guy in fact; I acted that way once or twice before (when I was in high school mind you) and was dumped pretty soon after before I realized that I couldn't have a healthy relationship without letting go. Jealousy tends to stem from inadequacy, once the guy deals with that problem, healthy relationships can be realized! I have had very strong and good relationships since then with no serious jealousy issues. It is by NO means NORMAL and unless he changes radically soon, I agree with Karateneko that you need to break it off before it harms you emotionally for any future relationships.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    Get out ASAP! you are going to meet many guys who will treat you right! No one should be treated like that by anyone . Life is to short to no to have an awsome relationship in every way.
    I meet my wife when we were 18, and we are still together. This guy will never change, and once again life is to short to spend another second with someone like that!!!

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • SuperGeek337
    12 years ago

    This is a form of abuse controlling abuse and if you're not careful, it could get to the point where he's keeping you from living your life or hurting your in more severe forms. Get out now.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • norm
    12 years ago

    I think you would agree that there isn't much of a future to this relationship.

    He is either a control freak or hopelessly insecure.

    Time to move on.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • FocoUS
    12 years ago

    Time to leave. He wants a doormat don't turn into one.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • SwimBikeRun
    12 years ago

    Well said Delvert. You need to get out now!!

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • delvert
    12 years ago

    I've spent some time working in the court system helping women get protection orders against abusive husbands/boyfriends/wives/girlfriends and what you described is how almost 100% of those abusive relationships started out.

    This is extremely normal behavior for the kind of guy who will eventually start to verbally abuse you, physically abuse you, threaten to kill you, stalk you at work, school and home, and, unfortunately, possibly even take your life.

    Get out now and don't hesitate to bring his actions up to the authorities if they get worse.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • shuggy-chan
    12 years ago

    I understand his worreies, but he need to grow up inside before he can be in a relationship. i know i have the same tendences but, since i get it the same type of treatment from my dad, the oversensitive and i can see how ugly and unattractive that is. So Im still working at it, but a now have these feelings in check.

    Im 22 and it took me about 3 or 4 years to really start getting control of these feeling and now i almost never use a curse word or a be petty to the girl im with when she hurt my feelings, i may have i slip, be he need to get in thru his head the that there are two people's feeling here, not just his and if he really want to be "that guy". i know i dont anymore.

    best of luck, and if it gets too bad leave him, he probably need to learn to get his head out of his ass the hard way then, like i did.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • shade_ilmaendu
    12 years ago

    Sounds like a guy I dated once. He tried to make me his "pet". X.x I would gtf-out of that relationship before he hurts you, it's bad enough he's taking all your freedom away. People are fucked up, man..

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • ygrowup
    12 years ago

    It seems he is a lot more serious than you in this relationship, and you are hinging on a exit! Need to have a great plan if that is your thoughts, if you are not ready to give your all to a guy that requires that, then you should move in with careful considerations! Good luck with your choices

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • tinyk
      12 years ago

      I care about him a lot but i admit that it seems like he cares more...but i'm not trying to find a reason to break up i just need to be able to feel like i can breathe a little in this relationship.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • squeallikeasacofpigs
    12 years ago

    Holy shit thats one fucking obsessed dude. The problem is him not you, despite the rough manly exterior, deep down he's just a weak little boy who's afraid of getting hurt by you again. Not easy to overcome fear as our minds are wired to learn from our mistakes (i.e. dont trust that bitch, she'll hurt you again). If he's really important to you and you want him to stay around, you have to get him out of that jealous and obsessive habit - if you dont, it will eventually lead to the demise of your relationship

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • tinyk
      12 years ago

      Yes thats exactly it, I feel like he is obsessed sometimes and he's always texting how much he loves me and then when I don't always say it back he gets all pissed off. I don't know how to change the way he acts/feels and I really don't want to break up but I can't handle the way he feels and acts towards me...its way too much.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0