Is it normal that my boyfriend...

22 Comments

So my so called boyfriend has a few corks to day the least.
He quit his job right as we started dating.... He clearly is having money issues now, only a month into our relationship and it's been causing issues.

Whenever we go out he actually makes a joke now that " every thing will be on you" (you being me paying the bill.) At first when we started seeing each other and were just testing the waters we went half on everything that we did on the date. At first I was trying to be a mature adult, thinking that we weren't together so why should he have to pay? ALTHOUGH to be honest.... I am traditional and I believe that if a man takes you on a date... he pays....
Then once we became official he quit his job. And since then either I get a drink MAYBE and he eats in front of me if he pays the bill, and makes me feel guilty to ask for anything.... Otherwise whenever he doesn't pay , which is like 90% of the time I do. And the saddest part is that I pay for him, and I barely get shit. I'm in a tight money place too, but because I have a job he expects that I'll pay for him, because he doesn't...

As if that weren't enough he seems to always have food money when he is out with his friends and family... And he likes to gamble.... He lost 80$ at the casino that he dragged me too... and he would have lost more if I didn't get him to save his last 20$ instead of playing another game of poker... The best part was that he had gambled away his gas money for the night and we almost didn't make it home... and I had to buy him a coffee to make sure that we make it home alive...
He keeps asking me what i'm going to get him for Christmas too... and he keeps referring to these shoes he wants that are like $ 200........

I've talked to him about not feeling special and hating to have to pay for everything and he always goes back to the "you got the bill" comment when were out.
He says he wants to be spoiled and have a bunch of attention.... I'm getting sick of trying to be with what I feel is another chick sometimes.....

Thoughts? </3

He's selfish and doesn't care 10
He needs to get dumped 47
He's just a "boy" 6
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Comments ( 22 )
  • RoseIsabella
    9 years ago

    He sounds like a piece of shit compulsive gamber. Why are still with him?

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  • handsignals
    9 years ago

    I've got a few corks to day myself :/

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    • Nokiot9
      8 years ago

      I thought I was gonna have to say something about that lol

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      • Nokiot9
        8 years ago

        I quit reading and scrolled down at that word lol

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  • dasugaknows
    9 years ago

    Seriously, dump that jerk. You were already way too nice to pay for anything for him and he sounds ungrateful. I highly doubt there are many other chicks out there who would put up with that crap. On top of that, a gambling addiction? There are so many better men out there, please dont waste anymore time with this one.

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    • define:normal
      9 years ago

      Wow as lame as this sounds.. Thank you for telling me what you did. I just thought that maybe I was being selfish not seeing the position he was in (being jobless...). But I was feeling a bit taken advantage of... Oh well hope you were right about there being "better men" out there! Cheers!

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  • define:normal
    9 years ago

    Very good advice. The only thing is these men usually push me by asking me to become official with them. And I try to delay it by a week or two and then I almost give in because I feel guilty for some reason. This one in particular was immature, I can see that now in the guilt tripping that I be his official girlfriend. I mean I guess people know that I'm kind and i don't enjoying hurting anyone, and in the end I just maybe forget that I have to be happy too. If that means telling them that i'm not ready then I have to. I just know half the time they wont accept waiting too long and then play games with me. I guess that means that it wasn't worth it in the end after all.....

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  • deepthought33
    9 years ago

    Hunters for sugar daddies/mommas come from all levels of the financial ladder (for lack of a better description). I know someone who just makes ends meet who's boyfriend was only with her because she had a few mediocre assets he assumed she would sell while they were together. He was in his late 30s hoping to find some woman who would dote on him while he did nothing.

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    • define:normal
      9 years ago

      I've just never thought that he be that type of person. But getting to know him more, he was spoiled by his parents... So I guess he thought that he could take a kind hardworking girl and manipulate her into some "suggar momma". I feel so used and I just never thought I be that girl that fell for these types of men.

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      • RoseIsabella
        9 years ago

        If you don't dump him now then at the very least abandon him next time he's gambled away all his money and is too drunk to drive his sorry ass home.

        You're not responsible for him!

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  • Spankz
    9 years ago

    A relationship is about working as a team and in order for this to be successful, BOTH sides must function. In this relationship it seems that only your side is functioning. It would be much different if he was unemployed and not asking to go out. But, as it stands he is leeching off of you and that isn't right. Don't throw it all away just yet. I suggest you give him one last go at communicating how you feel. If it doesn't change his view, then leave. Don't keep yourself in a poisonous relationship.

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  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    I'm a traditional lady too, and even though I don't believe in taking advantage, I do believe a guy should pay for dates. This guy sounds like an asshole, dump him.

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  • modernism
    9 years ago

    This is not normal. Although I usually try to give compromising advice whenever it comes to relationship, but I'd have to say dump the guy. Don't you find it odd that he only quit his job AFTER you guys became officially a couple? He's only using you for your money. On top of that, he gambles, which could quickly become an addiction. Money isn't an issue you brush aside. As bad as it sounds - money is one of the basics of life. You need it. You build upon it. It's reality. And he seems to know this - which is probably the only reason he's with you. He's lazy, and doesn't want to work, but still wants money. But hey, you're there to hand it to him, so why not stick around?

    Not to mention that he literally told you that he wants to be spoiled. That's just pathetic - to be honest. Money and attention is all he wants.

    If the roles were switched, he'd be a poster child gold-digger. Don't put up with that. It's not going to lead anywhere good. You deserve better.

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  • reminiscent
    9 years ago

    Omg leave this man...he is selfish you will end up taking care of him your whole life.

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    • define:normal
      9 years ago

      Yeah I honestly feel he put on some persona of someone else.. He went to business school and university and then never told me he didn't graduate.... Then he quits his job when he met me because he wasn't making enough... Now I see he has money issues and a gambling problem.... I pick the best ones.

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      • reminiscent
        9 years ago

        Just run as fast as you can away from that one...you can definitely find someone better.

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  • Darkoil
    9 years ago

    Why are you still with him? He sounds like the type of guy who would probably do the world a favour if he simply threw himself of a bridge.

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  • define:normal
    9 years ago

    Good question... I guess I just wanted to see if he change? And I just am sick of being in relationships for such a short amount of time, I thought maybe it's me.

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    • deepthought33
      9 years ago

      Ahh, so you're considering settling. Well, don't do that. It seems like you may be feeling picky running through relationships so quickly. I obviously don't know your dating record, but if you run into these sorts of men often then maybe you should slow down or stretch out your process a bit. Get rid of them before you're even officially an item.

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  • define:normal
    9 years ago

    Thank you everyone for the feedback and advise! It really helps! :3

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  • define:normal
    9 years ago

    Thank you for the words of wisdom and helpful advise! I agree fully, sadly I guess I just wanted someone else to say it too. Reassurance I guess. :/

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  • (s)aint
    9 years ago

    From my area it's not that common that the man pays for everything, we split.
    If you are dating it should be equally financial effort from both parts.
    If you like him you could tell him that you wont buy things for him any more and that you expect him to be able to purchase his own food if he have money to gamble with and hang out with friends.

    Set an ultimatum.

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