Is it normal that my "boss" acts kinda controlling with me?

I started classes like 2 semesters ago, and the previous semester I got a job on campus as a college assistant. They send us to work with faculty and help the students with software, so they sent me to work with this guy who happened to be my professor at the time (the previous semester). I must say he tries (and tried when I was his student) to do his best to treat me good, yet there are some things about him that irritate me. First off I must say that people misinterpret me all the time, so I wouldn't be surprised if what started all of this was him getting the (wrong) idea that I was attracted to him. For example, in class he went from lying his eyes on this blonde chick in the front the very first days to lying them on me almost all the time. I didn't find it weird at all though, as I was someone who was assisting him outside class and professors need to look somewhere as they talk. But there was something that struck me as odd. The three times I was very engaged talking to my male classmate (overall I am not a conversationalist,) he stopped talking and after looking at our direction for a few seconds, he asked me to do him a favor. But I didn't care that much as I sensed he might have though I was attracted to him (remember, people always misinterpret me) and I feel like for someone in his 50s, having a cute chick in her twenties interested in them should be a nice ego booster, so why would he like "his little admirer" to pay attention to someone else. So, not a big deal. Anyway, there were some other things I didn't really pay attention to until now. When in his office, he would ask what I was doing in the weekend, who I would be with, how and with who I was going to celebrate holidays, what was my schedule like and things like that. As his request, I'm working with him again this semester, but I have no idea why he requested to work with me again as he doesn't look happy with anything I do even though his words might try to say otherwise. I was thinking about the "ego booster" theory though. And I have noticed he gets mad when he sees I'm text messaging and the other day he wanted to know who I was texting to (I don't do this while working, so don't get me wrong.) He even asked how many texts a month I send. I was like...WTF! AND, recently he asked how many classes I was taking, how many hours a week I worked, until what time I stayed at the school, who I would be working with after I left his office, if I had a lot of homework, etc. I have also noticed that he calls his wife before he leaves. I think he might be a controlling, self-absorbed person, but why would he act like that with someone who only works for him!

Yes, it's totally normal. You are overreacting 5
He likes you as a daughter and wants to protect you 4
It's the middle age crisis 1
No, he is weird. 18
You lack confidence and attract this behavior 7
He thinks everybody owes him an explanation 3
He thinks that because you are young you are an idiot 6
He thinks he is superior to women 4
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Comments ( 13 )
  • PumpkinKate

    tl;dr

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  • rin

    If you have good intuition you will know his intentions.

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  • Fuck the system

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  • kasaikitsune12

    he's your boss!what do you think!

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  • mariluz

    And I wasn't texting while working. I was waiting for him to finish talking with a student. He asked if the number of texts I sent a month was 500, more, or less.

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  • mariluz

    Lol. I'm not asking whether he is controlling or not because he is. I am asking WHY he is...with a person who is not even related to him. I feel that vibe; but it's hard to put it in words (I'm not good at explaining events I guess, so maybe that's why some of you don't see it.)

    And for the guy who said that I assume he has the hots for me just because I am aware I am cute for quite many people, I disagree. For that matter he would be objectifying me instead, as he treats me like a dumb child who needs his "helpful" advice all the time because I am often doing things the wrong way (yet he requested to work with me again??)

    And the other day he was complaining about how he had to work all the time and never had time for anything because when he is home his wife asks him to clean the house, to cook, etc., and "aw, poor thing!" I see his talking about it as a for of manipulation to get other people's sympathy. But it's not his intentions (which I'm not clear about) what bothers me at all. What irks me is how he must view me as a dumb idiot who cannot think as to treat me like a child and think his fake benign actions will make me have a good impression of him (yep, he is way too concerned with making a good impression and hates ridicule, according to my observations.)

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  • myownopinions

    Doesn't sound that strange, but go with your intuition. If worse comes to worse, quit the job.

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  • pansyfugufish

    These are the same characteristics found in stalkers.

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  • joybird

    If you're not comfortable, don't work for him again.

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  • Energy

    Sounds like he's just trying to be friendly.

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  • Fozmula

    make it a story, not a poll.

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  • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress

    To be honest, I don't see it.

    I think you may be misinterpreting his actions.

    And the questions... ok, so?

    I mean the first set of questions about the vacation sounds like he was trying to make conversation, at most to try to get to know you.

    And the second set of questions... depends on the circumstances. If he say, caught you texting at work and asked you how many you send out it's a valid question.

    At the most he may be a little nosy, but not inappropriate. Inappropriate would be if he'd asked you who you were having sex with, what bra size you wear, or something extremely intimate. Asking what you're doing for a weekend or holiday is just conversational.

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  • Dozis

    duh. he is your boss.

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