Is it normal that my bf is furious that i can beat him at wrestling?

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Basically, I think my boyfriend is being really pissy over something I didn't think was a big deal. We were talking the other day about sports we no longer take part in but used to enjoy and I mentioned that I used to do judo in college and was pretty good, even though I only received a beginner's yellow belt.

He thought this was hilarious because I'm tall and blond and pretty, and weigh around 125lbs, and I guess he didn't think that a pretty girl could fight her way out of a paper bag, much less do a martial art.

So when he got done laughing at me (he really was laughing and making fun of me) I challenged him to a wrestling match. Long story short, I used some timely leg sweeps and wrist throws to send him to the floor a few times, and after a while he got so tired out that his strength advantage was gone, and I was able to pin him.

Well, I figured he would have learned his lesson, but he's totally bent out of shape about it...he's been pouty and obnoxious ever since the match and keeps challenging me to a rematch, saying I got lucky, and that he wasn't trying hard...all this stuff to protect his macho ego.

So what do I do? Give him a rematch and let him win? (He would totally rub it in my face and say things like "I told you women can't fight". Or agree to a rematch and try my best again, risking another blow to his ego if he loses? Or just refuse and tell him to deal with it? (I've tried that last option and he just won't let it go).

And please tell me--have any attractive girls ever beaten a guy at something physical and had him react this way? Is it normal?
Please advise! and thanx!

Jennie

Voting Results

75% Normal

Based on 193 votes (145 yes)

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Comments ( 43 )

BigRedOne

14 years ago

Give him a rematch, and kick his ass.

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PoisonFlowers

14 years ago

Dump the prissy, ball-caressing, ego-bruised, pissing and moaning, sexist idiot.

You're too good for him. Or perhaps just have some fun with him first - beat his butt several more times and then dump him haha.

You don't have to nurse his ego you know. I'm sure he's a big boy now, so he can do it himself.

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Ollieiswaycool

14 years ago

You can beat your boyfriend up and you still want to stay with him :S
Anyway this story sounds hot, im sure you could adapt it somehow and write some erotic literature of the same theme...
I used to box, if a girl ever beat me (impossible unless shes russian or something) I'd be incredibly embarrassed, but also REALLY TURNED ON.

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nonononormal

14 years ago

He has quite a very big ego, and probably a close-minded mindframe that all pretty girls are weak compared to men like him. Seeing as you know how to grapple, you also know that size and weight can actually go against him when grappling, especially if he doesn't know anything about it.

Give him a rematch, but this time, do better than you did previously. If he loses, he should admit defeat like a man, and admit even an attractive girl can kick ass because they're better when it comes to technique and skills (and if by chance he wins, he shouldn't be too proud of himself, because he's not picking at someone his own size).

I know an attractive female Brazilian Jiu Jitsu purple belt and muay thai practitioner who can easily kick my ass, despite me being 100lbs heavier... and I'm not even a weakling - I also train martial arts, and I concede defeat to her because she's more well-versed in techniques and is way better than me overall.

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Murasaki

14 years ago

There's an option which you haven't thought of, and this is the option which will produce the best outcome. Dump him. Dump his ass so fast and if you want to, challenge and beat him again before doing it. Real partners who love you will want you to be the best that you can be.

Of course it's a dent on his ego. Men are made to protect and if they can't, they feel like their purpose is gone. If it's not this, then it will be him making you stay at home while he works or that you can't do such and such but he can. There's no point keeping someone who isn't willing to let you beat him at something. If anything, guys should be turned on by it - heck, I love girls who can beat the shit out of me and throw me on my back.

If you're intent on staying with him, then yes, you may have to let him win, but not necessarily at wrestling. He sounds like the kind of guy which must win or it will continue the argument forever. However, that will mean that you must not be yourself - so why not try to direct his focus elsewhere? Point out an aspect in his life where he can beat you. Everyone is good at something, so if the argument really is a problem, try and activity which he can beat you at and make sure he knows that you both have your different strengths and weaknesses.

However, again, there is no point staying with a partner who is in a permanent power struggle with you. It's not about being right, it's about being happy. He needs to get over it or he should rightly lose you. He should never put you in this situation.

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Jen118584

14 years ago

What does it have to do with you being attractive....?

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Gabriell

14 years ago

Tell him to go learn JUDO so he can beat you

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- jennie
  
  14 years ago
  
  Well, I actually suggested we take classes together so we could be on a more even playing field if he wanted to wrestle me, but he said: "I don't need to know Judo to beat a girl." So, I mean...what was I supposed to do? He asked for it and I taught him a lesson--twice!
  
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  - arcieres
    
    11 years ago
    
    his attitude is not racional, maybe if you have kicked his ass plenty of times, he would have understood the reality and decide if want to train too to compete in equal training conditions or prefer accept his defeat.
    
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juliaa

14 years ago

What a little bitch. Dump him honey.

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Jen118584

14 years ago

I agree with everything the other posters have said. He's acting like a little bitch and being quite immature. You should kick him to the curb. Many guys would think it's awesome that their girlfriend is tough and can take care of herself. I can see him feeling a little de-masculinzed over it, but to harp on it for days and not let it go is over the top. I still don't think it has or should have anything to do with whether or not you're attractive. That you're a girl, yes. That you're 125 lbs compared to whatever he is, sure, but to make it about the way you look is a bit arrogant, imo.

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- jennie
  
  14 years ago
  
  Thanx everyone for your advice...the update is he's still being a total jerk about this & so i told him "OK, tell U waht: we can wrestle ONE MORE TIME but whoever loses has to accept it & we move on, otherwise I think we need to re-think this relationship cuz I'm sick of your attitude."
  
  So he agreed to that and we're going to have a re-match. (I also told him he better be serious about accepting the outcome b/c I'm not going to take it easy on him to spare his ego & he still doesn't respect my Judo skills so he's asking for trouble.)
  
  Oh, and Jen...the whole thing about me being pretty is that I asked him why it bothered him SO much that I won and i pointed out that there are lots of women who box these days and even do UFC and MMA and he goes "yeah, but they're all butch & ugly...it's different if your a good-looking girl...that's why I took it easy on you b/c I don't think pretty girls should fight--and next time I won't take it easy on you to prove that you can't."
  
  I hope that explains it. Anyway, it's on.
  
  Does anyone want me to post what happens in the re-match?
  
  Jennie
  
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  - Jen118584
    
    14 years ago
    
    Haha, yeah I guess I can see that. It would be a little different if you were butch.
    
    So what happened? You kick his ass?
    
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  - callo
    
    14 years ago
    
    yes. post it, and say what youve done with him (if hes still being a jerk)
    
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[Old Memory]

14 years ago

I think this guy is being more than pissy, he has just shown a side of himself you should take very serious note of if you are considering him long term or life.

He is sexist. Period. And his attitude - a totally false belief in his entitlement to tower and power over you - bodes ill in more ways than just this.

Cut your losses now. Get out. Move on. Find someone who deserves to be your equal.

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callo

14 years ago

this is an unfair match, dominant women are such a turn on, im sure he couldnt focus properly..

do it again, hurt is ego more, and say that martial arts is effective etc etc and thats why youre so good

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Skitzo1

10 years ago

You don't understand. The man "MUST" win during physical activities, or anything to do with skill. It makes him look Alpha and feel like he can protect you from danger. We live in a Patriarchal society, not a Matriarchal one.

EDIT: Sorry if it sounds a little harsh and sexist. But its true.

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arcieres

11 years ago

lol, I havent read he is not your boyfriend anymore.

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arcieres

11 years ago

My advise is simple; he needs to start to train seriously in order to defeat you. If he really wants to beat you, he have to pay the price of the hard working. If after try much time he cant defeat you, he eventually will accept you are better, but not before. What you can do is program the future matches with calendar (maybe once a week) so he doesnt search have matches out of these predefined periods of time.

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LDboy

12 years ago

Hey jennie i just wanted to ask if you ever wrestle other guys. And i also wanted to tell you that i started mix wrestling. My first match is with a girl that looks really weak but i know you cant judge a book by its cover. Im looking foward to it. I want to know what its like to wrestle a girl. Got any tips of wat to do while im wrestling her because i asked her out and she said she'll think about it. Should i let her win. if not then wat do i do

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- jennie
  
  12 years ago
  
  Well, no, I don't go looking to wrestle other guys. That situation w/my ex-boyfriend was a case of him asking for it, and I showed him just what a girl trained in martial arts can do to an un-trained guy. The only other time i had to use my Judo against a guy was a few months after I brokeup w/my BF and me and a girlfriend were at a party & this drunk guy was hitting on her & she told him to get lost & he started groping her and I flipped him over my shoulder. End of fight right there.
  I really don't know what to tell you about wrestling this girl you asked out. Are you sure she actually WANTS to wrestle you? Most girls aren't really into wrestling guys. All I can tell U is that if she has any martial arts knowledge don't underestimate her. And if she doesn't and U out weigh her by a lot you really shouldnt wrestle her. I guess if she agrees and wants to do it it's OK.
  
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Alexander_Louise_Armstrong

12 years ago

you should inject meth

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Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress

12 years ago

Turn it into foreplay. Then neither one of you will care who comes out on top.

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BoredGuy

13 years ago

Aren't all guys like this? :)

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[Old Memory]

13 years ago

I'd never honestly fight against a girl like I would against a guy. Cuz when it comes to it there a dirty tricks that would really injure your enemy but you would win. i'd never use these moves on my girlsfriend or any other girl

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Comm0nSense

13 years ago

what a bitch! tell him next time to watch his vagina. seriously you need to give mr our number.

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Hood

13 years ago

Im going to keep it real and say your boyfriend is acting like a lil girl.Im a young man and if I found out my girl could beat me at wrestling I would be happy that she could protect her self like that because I kno a lil about judo and god blessed me to be able to defend my self naturally so Im not sweet.that attitude he has is not really a real mans attitude,that a stereotype that people have about men,and looks dont mean anything

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- arcieres
  
  11 years ago
  
  Well, the other point of view is simple too, you dont need she can protect herself, because you will do it for her.
  
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Nazuro

14 years ago

Wow Jennie sounds to me like its what you wish would happen.....
How many times have you told this story? Maybe its just someting fun you make up or is there a past boyfriend you wish you'd hurt?

You also keep mentioning that you are 'pretty'. Pretty compared to what or who?

You sound like you need a doctor dude

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BSdetector

14 years ago

"...Seriously, is this story even real?..."

JMDude, your instincts serve you well...

"Jennie", why have you spent the past two years recycling and reposting different versions of this story on various websites?

Examples:
She agrees to the rematch and beats him at her place--just the two of them.
Then, in another version, she beats him in front of others.
She ends the rematch by throwing him in one version, then by putting him into a joint lock in another.
And the dialogue is different, too...again, depending on which version you read.

I'm not saying this couldn't happen, but sheesh...spare me!
(Google boyfriend judo ego or jennie judo ego and you'll see what I mean.)

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- JMDude
  
  14 years ago
  
  Nobody can be sure on a site like this ha
  
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[Old Memory]

14 years ago

I think you are being the good sport he is not. And I don't think you will get his respect no matter how much you deserve it. Its not a part of his belief system. But I do want to know the results of your match.

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- jennie
  
  14 years ago
  
  Hi Ollieo,
  
  Not sure if I mentioned this before or not but we did have the re-match after all. (I wanted no part of it but he insisted and taunted me until finally I said fine, let's go.)
  
  I beat him again and this time I even forced him to tap out after getting him in a leg lock that he couldn't escape. I appreciate your comments and believe me, I had no wish to humiliate him...he was asking for it.
  
  Jennie
  
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JMDude

14 years ago

Try a new combat sport, or chess, test your intellects, if you want to learn you just have to google it, knights can hop over other pieces and bishops move diagonally and bippity boppety boof. I would beat you at wrestling though, except i'm not a dipshit that would risk losing to a hottie in a wrestling match, and i'd probably, ahem, poke you, accidently, and that would be embarrasing, yeah....

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- jennie
  
  14 years ago
  
  You kind of contradict yourself don't you, JMDude? You say you wouldn't lose to me but you wouldn't "risk" getting beat either by a hottie? You afraid I could take you? Anyway, you sound a lot like the macho sh*t for brains BF I had who couldn't believe a girl--even one trained in martial arts--could beat an untrained guy. Been there, done that.
  
  jennie
  
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  - JMDude
    
    14 years ago
    
    I'm well aware you "could" beat be in your chosen Martial Art, but, I A)don't give a shit about gender and B) I meant I wouldn't risk being beat by a girl I have to see on a day to day basis, because women are, in my experience, smug, even if just subtlety, about even minor victories, damn her and her last Pizza slice grabbing ways, but then she is a jerk, that I am not dating :)
    
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    - jennie
      
      14 years ago
      
      Sorry if I got a little defensive, JMDude....it's just that I'm so sick of guys automatically assuming they can beat me just b/c I'm a girl and look more like a 'Barbie' than a 'Bruiser'.
      
      When one of my BF's friends found out I beat him he was like "wow, steve's kind of a wimp, huh?", and I said "no, he just didn't have Judo training like I did", and he just laughed that off and was like "whetever--no way I would lose to a girl", and I got really mad & said "your about the same height and weight as Steve--and you don't know Judo, right? Are you saying I couldn't take you down?", and he got all flustered and was like "Well, that's not what I meant exactly, it's just I can't see losing to a girl", and I said "Well, I'm a girl and if you think you can beat me so easy why don't you take your best shot?", and he just got all flustered again and said "No---I don't want to hurt you", but I just laughed at that and said "Oh, dont worry about me--I get thrown in class all the time, I can take it"....and he just muttered something else and said 'forget it', and I told him maybe you should be careful about who you call a 'wimp' if you can't back up your tuff talk", and walked away.
      
      It's just the sexist attitude I'm tired of w/a lot of guys and I thought you were implying that in your comment...but I can see you weren't now, so my apologies!
      
      Jennie
      
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      - JMDude
        
        14 years ago
        
        Thats fine. I know what you mean and have to admit that being beaten by my girlfriend would annoy me too. Though as a girl you would, I know this, happen to be more attracted to a tough guy than a wimp. Not that being beaten by a girl makes a guy a wimp, just that all the girls I know prefer guys who can stand up for them. I mean even sportswomen such as yourself must have a primal preference for tougher guys. Though I know what you mean, I have often heared the story of Joan of Ark and always got pissed when she was accused of being in league with the Devil just because she was a brilliant military leader. It was the whole Judeo-Christian and Islamic faith that led to these lies about female helplessness and if you read Proverbs, evil and foolishness. I mean have you read Job, fucked up. In Pagan faiths women are equal, like the faiths of my Celtic and Viking ancestors. Though more towards the Renaissance my ancestors-apparent on my dads side were Archbishops of Armagh after the clan they came from had their kingdoms usurped by those who were loyal to the king, and so their stronghold in the former fifth province of Mide was gradually reduced :(
        
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  - JMDude
    
    14 years ago
    
    Seriously, is this story even real? The guy seems kinda stereotypical, and dumb, he lost, again and again. Tell him to carboload, thats needed. Or just dump him.
    
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    - jennie
      
      14 years ago
      
      @JMDude
      
      Yes, it's real, and i already did dump him. Did U even read my last post? It wasn't about my Ex, just one of his dumb friends. Don't be a sexist a$$ like them. Go carboload yourself if U can't deal w/girls who can defend themselves.
      
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  - JMDude
    
    14 years ago
    
    Also, Jennie, I am skilled at Freestyle and Graeco-Roman wrestling, and have too much heart, and have never, so far, been beaten, but I haven't been competing like years, I got into it at sixteen, and even then just competed occasionally, though it has proved to be a natural skill, to match my domineering personality, and i'm getting better, so even if I do lose, i'll make up for it, and, be unbeatable, as a fellow combatant, you should understand my ambitions. I am a man of many aims.
    
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[Old Memory]

14 years ago

If you TRULY beat him and he didn't let you win. I can see him being a little annoyed if he has the whole "alpha male" complex. I wouldn't mind if my girlfriend kicked my butt at wrestling because she outweighs me by a hundred pounds and I just can't compete as I have a weak sense of balance lately.

No, you should not LET him win as he will actually feel worst by it. I would honestly let it go but ask him why it is bother him so much if he brings it up again. Every good relationship has BOTH people with strengths and weaknesses. I can do this area better than her but she completley dominated me in that area.

Even knowing I'm not an alpha male type of person, (I really couldn't give a shit if I am better than that guy or that guy is better than I am at...insert thing here.) a lot of women tend to like these men better than a kind or gentle man and I have to ask you back. Does it really matter and if he continues, is the relationship worth it. If it is, then you BOTH will come to an agreement on this issue and if not, it is better to know now than have a custody fight over two children later.

I wish you the best of luck and if you kicked my butt, I honestly would let it go. Life is too precious to waste on trivial crap like what he is doing.

JUST NEVER EVER EVER LET HIM WIN. Be who you truly are and don't give in. Giving in on a competition to make him feel better puts you in a bad position in the relationship and you two should be equals, not him above you.

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pete1729

14 years ago

i agree with the above. he challenged you, and he wasn't nice about it. he lost, and he really wasn't nice about it. you probably won't fix that.

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Are You Normal?

Is it normal that my bf is furious that i can beat him at wrestling?