Is it normal that my best friends have much better friends then me

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4 Comments

I'm 22, male.

I've been asked by a friend of mine if I had any "best friends". I had to honestly answer that she's among them. The people who are closest to me aren't very close. The people I work with and the people I meet maybe once a week. Most of them would probably not even call me a "friend". Is it normal I don't really have anyone I can talk to about things like feelings, fears, desires and stuff? Someone I can show my true self?

I know it's my own fault, I don't let people close to me. I just want to know if it's normal.

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80% Normal
Based on 40 votes (32 yes)
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Comments ( 4 )
  • aoi2108
    11 years ago

    I think I know how you feel...I didn't answer though, I don't know how 'normal' the situation is and don't want to assume it is just because I feel the same way
    I used to move places (to different countries too) a lot when I was little, and as a result I don't let people too close. When I graduated from high school I moved again, and now that I'm at university I basically only have acquaintances, no friends. Those I can call friends live in a different country, have their own lives and new friends, and it's not like I have ever really opened up to them either. My only 'best friend' is in Korea now (I'm in Europe)...no bf/gf either. Most of the time it doesn't really bother me, but sometimes it does...

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  • Imposturously_yours
    11 years ago

    I don't think I have any friends either. Used to have a lot when I was at school, then there were always a bunch of people hanging out with us when I was in a band.

    But the last few years, I talk to 2-3 people I know from my past, once in a few months. And say hi to people at work.

    Never seen that as a problem, but now that you mention it. maybe it's not right. Just don't think i'm that interesting and I rarely care for other people.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      I know what you mean. I didn't really care for close friends either, so I didn't put much effort into relationships. But a few weeks ago I had a conversation with someone and we were talking about our past and things that made us happy or have hurt us. Pretty regular stuff but I realized I never talk about those things, and doing so I almost cried. It was like a part of me I thougt was gone suddenly came back for a second. I didn't know what a thick facade of shallowness I had built around myself. I'm afraid if I keep not having friends, I'll might become lonely and bitter without even noticing it.

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      • Imposturously_yours
        11 years ago

        I dunno, I just can't bring myself to actually build a proper relationship with someone. I mean, there's a guy I've been in touch with for the last 11 years. But he has his own life and I got mine -he's a friend, but it's not a close friendship.

        Maybe it's a good thing that you vented to someone, maybe it's really healthy to do this once in a while.

        But again, if you're right about the eventual loneliness and bitterness -I'm in trouble, cause I don't really know how to make proper friends anymore.

        Oh, well.. I can always move to a farm and work with animals.

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