Is it normal that my b.f. is at his friends house instead of me?

63% Normal
12 Comments

Is it ok that on our 25 month anniversary, my long-distance boyfriend is at his friends house instead of talking to me on the phone like we do every 15th? He asked me earlier if i would care if he went to chill with one of his good friends that he hasn't seen in a while today... But we both know that of course i care. We celebrate our anniversary every month, because we're dorks like that... and i want to be spending our time on the phone together, making each other laugh and be happy. Especially since the phone is all we have. I'm all about people making their own decisions so i told him its up to him and he did it. I mean a person should chose to spend their time with thier loved one on their anniversary because they want to. And i am in no place to tell someone how to live their life.
Now for the rest of the week he has meetings and will be busy until Saturday, which is when i am going out of town. So we wont be able to talk for a week probably. What's even more sad is i really think hes ok with the fact that he left me tonight. I dont sense any guilt.

is it normal that I am sad and a little upset about this?

Voting Results
63% Normal
Based on 95 votes (60 yes)
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Comments ( 12 )
  • IKnowNothing
    14 years ago

    There are two points to this. one he is a man. And no matter how much he loves you or how he act He dose not care about celebrating every month. Let him remember the big ones. And two He is a man you tell him its up to him to spend time with a friend or you. That is as good as telling him to go. You will have to work on your subtle control of him.

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  • TareBear20
    12 years ago

    Way to degrade men by calling them stupid in you're own way. Trust me. Men play mind games, too.

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  • thecoldhardtruth
    12 years ago

    Okay, the only reason why im going to take his side on this is beacause of this sentence you worte. `He asked me earlier if i would care if he went to chill with one of his good friends that he hasn't seen in a while today.` If he asked you, and you replied by saying something like `oh no, thats fine go ahead.` thats what he thought you meant. Guys arent mind readers like girls, they dont see the double meaning. I am a girl and I always try to be straight up because I know guysjust wont get the mind games.

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  • DhGlory
    12 years ago

    Hear ye! Hear ye! Bitches be crazy!

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  • randomjelly
    13 years ago

    Celebrating every month takes away the magic...let him breathe.

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  • Sheep
    13 years ago

    of course he didn't feel guilty you said it was OK... i wouldn't feel bad if my gf said "if you want to go it's fine..." and why 25th month anniversary? why not 24th? y'know 2 years n all and leave it at that?

    Eva wtf? since when did being female give you the right to lord over men? i remember all the dates... if you're going to pretend to be better than the better sex then gtfo and make me a sammich.

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  • inlove89
    13 years ago

    Celebrating every month is lame.

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  • stanley_fedoraless
    14 years ago

    I think your BF is trying to tell you that it's time to stop celebrating every month. Come on, it's been two years, that's about the point where you stop referring to a baby's age in months. If something happens every month, it soon stops feeling so important. It's OK to celebrate more often at the start of the relationship but you really should start decreasing the frequency of the celebrations before too long--once a year is just long enough to keep an anniversary special for most people.

    So yeah, it's normal that your monthly "anniversary" is no longer very important to him. But it's also normal that you're sad about it if it's still important to you, especially since he didn't talk to you about it and suggest celebrating less often.

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    • stanley_fedoraless
      14 years ago

      ...oh yeah, and when he asked you if you would care you really should have said yes. Maybe he didn't know that you care. Maybe your feelings are not as obvious to him as you think they are. If he doesn't care so much about the monthly anniversary anymore he probably thought that you might be feeling the same way.

      He would have made his own decision whether you gave him permission to or not, but he wanted to take your feelings into account and you refused to tell him what they were.

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  • mtnw
    14 years ago

    my advice would depend on whether you are a kid or an adult. i can't decide based on your letter. either case, monthly anniversary things are just way too clingy in my opinion. i don't know anyone who could tolerate that.

    in any case, when you tell someone it is their choice, and then they make the choice, you sanctioned it already, so forget about feeling bad because you already gave the impression that it was his choice.

    long distance relationships are very very hard to do, and when they are successful, it is because the long distance part didn't last too long. good luck with that.

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  • Teenageguydan
    14 years ago

    in a guys mind, boys and girls qualify very different (and if they dont it would be because of bisexuality or homosexuality). guys think of other guys as threats most of the time, so when they get along with guys, and that guy gets along with them, its a very rare occasion. so on that note its good that his catching up with his friend if its a guy simply because its rare.

    guys mostly think of girls as potential partners or just kinda normal friends. not many guys get as close to girls as to guys in friendships.

    also you guys just celebrated you 2 years... thats a long time... maybe its time to stop celebrating every month and start celebrating every 6 months... otherwise it gets old fast...

    however i would be very concerned if he went to hang out with a chick friend of his.... :S

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    • YumInsanity
      11 years ago

      My God, reading your comment was like reading a shopping list of retardation, where did you get those stupid ideas from? "its good that his catching up with his friend if its a guy simply because its rare", are you trying to say that guys having guy friends is rare? Because that's retarded and that sentence looks like you got a scrabble set and threw it at your monitor

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