Is it normal that my anxiety has prepared me for the inevitable?

Like, I have struggled with anxiety for many years. Depression as well. Sometime my mind will get away from me, like when I haven't taken my ant-anxiety/depression medication. And I will go full in on imagining impossible scenarios, or scenarios that are definitely going to happen eventually.

For example, I am 19, and my mother is 56. I have already grieved for her death, as my anxiety brought fourth thoughts of "What would I do if she died?" "She's my only family, the only person who cares."

It's been the topic of several of my anxiety attacks because I am an only child, and my parents are divorced, I could never count on my father for anything, and I have almost no family I could count on.

In a way, because I have done this several times. I have already grieved for my mother's death. I'm certain that I will still be sad when the day eventually comes. But I don't believe it will hit me as hard, because I know what I will do. How I will take care of things, and myself if the time comes before I graduate college. She wants to be cremated, so I would ask friends of mine to go on a road trip to scatter her ashes at some places she always wanted to visit.

Depressing I know. But I can't help how my brain works, it makes me concerned that I'm a horrible person for this.