Is it normal that me and my dad do not get on?

75% Normal
18 Comments

So I know that not all dads and daughters get on, obviously, but this seems ridiculous. When I was younger, my mum went out to work and my dad stayed home to look after me. I remember getting on very well with my dad back then. But now I'm a teenager it seems like everything I do annoys the hell out of him, he's unreasonable and grouchy and I don't know what to do to please him. I guess that sometimes I'm cheeky but only when I have had enough of just going along with what he's saying about me so I defend myself. I know my mum is ill and seeing us fight is not helping her feel better, but I can't seem to help it, because believe it or not, it's NOT always my fault. I feel like we're going in circles and I'm sick of living like this as it's not legal for me to move out for another couple years (even then, I won't have the money) so please let me know, if this kind of relationship is normal. Thanks.

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75% Normal
Based on 67 votes (50 yes)
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Comments ( 18 )
  • Samson
    12 years ago

    Try learning proper vocabulary before creating a post cause you had me very confused with this "get on" business. The phrase you are looking for is get along.

    As for your problem. I think you should put your emotions behind you for the sake of your mother.

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    • kelso
      12 years ago | pl

      I believe this girl is British, and get on is a commonly used phrase that means the same thing as get along would in the Americas.

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      • callumb
        12 years ago

        Yea you Americans should use the real English not your made up English.

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        • Samson
          12 years ago

          I am canadiean and i apologise for my ignorance.

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  • myownopinions
    12 years ago

    Yep, everyone always hates/doesn't get along with at least one family member. I actually feel pretty much the same way. The best thing to do would be to just avoid your dad and not initiate any conversation with him.

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  • badboy69
    12 years ago

    maybe your dad is just not geting sex . Why don't you ask him if that's is why ?

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  • JustHer
    12 years ago

    I said I was a child(as legally I still am), NOT childish. It's not the same thing.

    So I suppose you know everything about every family because you're older, huh? Look I'm not suggesting I have it the worst, I realise and am grateful for what I have. All I was wondering was if it was normal for a daughter and dad to have this relationship. Of course I wouldn't call Social Services, he is in no way abusing me.
    And like I said, I never asked anybody to tell me what they thought of me (because it is irrelevant to my post), quite frankly you can shove your patronising, hurtful opinions of me wherever you wanna, because I only asked whether or not it is normal for a father/daughter relationship to be like this.

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    • joybird
      12 years ago

      Of course it's normal.

      Teenagers are hormonal and are finding their feet. They test out how much abuse their own family will take before they take it outside to the real world. I didn't mean to hurt or upset you, just tried to make you think of the situation from his side - and that was only coz I was feeling generous that day as I was frustrated with my own teen harping on. Nor do I want you to upset your mum or wear her down any further.

      I wish someone had told me about Social Services coz my dad used to beat me up and my mother used to hit us with a dog's choke chain and is still a rotten nasty bitch to this day, in her 70s. My dad died last year but I officially left home the day I turned 18 - though I was out living in derelict houses before that.

      Try your best to get on with them - even if some of their rules seem silly and be grateful that they are good parents, and you didn't have mine :o)

      Bite your tongue as you nod and smile and give him a hug.

      Good luck to you pet.

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      • JustHer
        12 years ago

        I'm sorry about your parents, that sounds horrible.

        Thank you.

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  • JustHer
    12 years ago

    I don't have to list to you what I do at home, it's irrelevant to the original question, and again, how PATRONISING are you? Seriously?
    To be honest here, I think YOU'RE the one who likes the sound of their own voice, starting an argument with a teenager via internet...-_-
    and before you say you 'didn't start an argument', what did you expect to happen when you wrote things like that? You know, you can be truthful/helpful WHILST being tactful.. it sometimes helps to put your point across instead of just making someone feel like they're being told off by somebody they don't even know

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    • joybird
      12 years ago

      Read my profile teeny, I don't suffer fools gladly - which means I don't sugar coat my advice, sorry you're so delicate. We don't usually argue on here, we usually debate the pros and cons of someone's comments.

      I stand by my original opinion. You are a parasite and if you don't like your home situation, get out of it. I'd like to see you work all day, come home to cook dinner, do your own dishes, do your laundry and ironing, spend your money on other people, got to bed, get up and do it all again.

      Anyhow, underage teeny boppers shouldn't be on this site - it's for those over 18, who are supposed to be able to rataionalise as adults and see other people's points of view.

      Never ask a question that you don't want an answer to!
      That should be your life motto, and applies to everything including relationships.

      Suck it up!!

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      • JustHer
        12 years ago

        What you did wasn't debate, you TOLD me I'm a parasite, hormonal, and a burden. Surely a parent shouldn't talk that way to any child, whether it's their own or not. And for your information, I do my chores, and occasionally cook dinner. I get allowance because I do not YET have a part-time job and manage my money very well as I buy all my own clothes/shoes and don't ask parents for any extra money.I'm not the little girl you have me down as, and not all teenagers are the same so don't compare me to yours. Maybe if you spent enough time with them as you are spending time arguing( or debating:O?) with me on this, you would understand they are not parasitic idiots who couldn't possibly begin to understand your complex adult life. I'M OUT!

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        • joybird
          12 years ago

          So now you admit you are childish :o) and unable to debate the fact that you are a parasite.

          I really really like you coz you make me laugh with, "Surely a parent shouldn't talk that way to any child" that's brilliant. Let me just turn that one round for you - surely a child shouldn't talk that way (cheeky) to her dad!

          I wouldn't give you any allowance, or buy you new clothes / shoes but I'm glad to hear that your dad doesn't call you a parasite - he can't be all that bad if he's holding that phrase back. Poor you, you do the odd bit to help out. FYI my teenager is in bed coz he has 5hrs of studying to do every day over Easter. That's why I'm usually only on late at night.

          I hope if anything you have learned that you won't get any sympathy from other adults, who recognise that your parents are keeping you. You should really go on to fb and tell your teenage pals, who all feel the same angst.

          You give in so easily, I reiterate that you are hormonal and truly have little to complain about. Otherwise call Social Services and tell them all your woes - give them a good laugh too :o)

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  • JustHer
    12 years ago

    And thank you everyone else for you're input :)

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  • joybird
    12 years ago

    First of all - you are hormonal and if anything like my teenager, you like the sound of your own voice and argue for arguing sake. I am in a similar situation to your mum as I've been very ill and I've got a teenager who never gives over!

    My husband does everything and my teenager doesn't dream of doing any chores without being asked - ask what you do? So on top of your mum being ill, you are another 'taker' or parasite wearing your dad out, and talking nonsense at the same time. The man is bored listening to you idiotic drivel which may seem important to you but compared to his problems are just childish.

    Put yourself in his shoes... would you work to pay bills, pay rent / mortgage, buy food, give you money, etc etc etc. No, you want to move out and run away from these problems! Here's news for you --- so does he!!

    Give the man a break!

    Either help out and stop being a burden or go to the library / friend's house after school so that he doesn't have to put up with you for too long, in the evenings.

    Grow up and see it from his perspective and stop making your mum even more ill - she must be worn out listening to this crap!

    Just had an idea - you could contact Social Services and ask to be taken into care. They would place you in a home or with foster parents, who get paid very well to put up with you!!

    Sorry teens - but I assume the OP would like to hear an adult's perspective too :o)

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    • JustHer
      12 years ago

      You have just offended me in so many ways, I don't even know where to begin.
      But let's start here: I am not as immature as you seem to think I am, and I find you to be EXTREMELY patronising. You do not know my father, and of course my mum being ill has put stress on the both of us, but I love my mum more than anything and I do try my best not to hurt her by arguing with my dad, because believe it or not it IS my dad who starts most of the arguments. And of course his life isn't easy, but I'm their only child, it would be nice if we got along at least sometimes, and I think you'll find it's my mum who works and pays the bills, not him.
      And I pity your teenager if all they say is apparent to you as "idiotic drivel" and their problems are only "childish" to your grown up life!
      Don't dare tell me to grow up, when you don't even know me.
      An idea for you - get off this website and go listen to your teenager, maybe you'll find they want a conversation with you and it's not all "idiotic drivel" after all. :)

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      • joybird
        12 years ago

        It takes two to argue - so he doesn't argue with himself, does he?

        And yes, your problems are absolutely miniscule to those of true adults dealing with sickness, bills, work, financial problems, routine, chores etc. So unless you'd like to list your contribution to running this happy home - then you are a taker.

        And as you've only been a member for two weeks - don't tell me to get off this website coz you don't like my advice for you. It's not my fault that you are too immature to sit down and consider it for a week or so. Typical teenager lashing out wanting to hear themselves. Think! Think! Think! Then speak!

        Anyhow, check out the second line, just below IIN Gold... Play Nice!

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    • Fonzy
      12 years ago

      ^ Thumbs Down :|

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