Is it normal that it the "wedding" obsession thing pisses me off?

87% Normal

First, let me give you a little of my backstory: I'm a bride to be. I get no joy from wedding planning. In fact, I am prohibited from actually really planning my wedding because we found out just after getting engaged that my fiancé has cancer. Fucking cancer. So yeah, I'm a little bitter. I'm guessing that is probably normal.

But as much as it pissed me off before, all these whiny princesses on wedding forums really tick me off. They act like the world is falling because "oh my god I got white cake and I ordered white chocolate cake! My wedding is ruined!" Or, "What do I do, my mother wants me to carry roses but I think they're so cliche!" "OMG my wedding dress came in and they ordered candlelight instead of ivory! My life is over!"

Give. Me. A. Break.

Why has society gone off the deep end and made this pretty normal?
I'd be really happy if I could just know that my fiancé and I had a chance to be married for a few years.

It also pisses me off that people who are irresponsible seem to be able to breed like rabbits when they cannot afford children and that other people who are responsible and have the means to properly care for children seem to be the ones who deal with issues like mine, a la you cannot have babies because you must be poisoned in order to maybe live longer.

I'm just sort of venting I guess, but I do wonder if it's normal to be so pissed off.

Voting Results

87% Normal

Based on 97 votes (84 yes)

Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!

[ Report Post ]

Comments ( 24 )

Anonymous Post Author

11 years ago | pl

Hello Mr. or Ms. Troll.

I want to thank you for your unkind words. It made me feel much better to know that there are human beings out there who are truly more miserable than I. Sometimes, those of us who have souls need to be reminded that there are individuals out there who clearly lack them. Additionally, it is also comforting to be reminded that I at least have someone to care for, and that I have something meaningful and productive to do with my life, rather than spend my time banally bullying strangers on the internet.

I truly thank you. I assure you my words are sincere and not dripping with sarcasm.

Have a nice life. I hope that one day you develop a soul, but if not, be assured that your lacking spiritual and emotional development will probably never cause you any agony.

-Poll Creator

Comment Hidden ( show )

7

7
- Shackleford96
  
  11 years ago
  
  I like how you responded here.
  
  Comment Hidden ( show )
  
  3
  
  3
  - Anonymous Post Author
    
    11 years ago
    
    Thanks. You have my absolute favorite screen name on this website. I always think of Dale Gribble and laugh when I see it!
    
    Comment Hidden ( show )
    
    0
    
    0
    - Shackleford96
      
      11 years ago
      
      You are welcome and I am glad you enjoy my screen name. King of the Hill is one of my favorites ^_^
      
      Comment Hidden ( show )
      
      0
      
      0
- mazgan
  
  11 years ago
  
  lol.. soul? really? grow up bitch.
  u just proved how retarded and stupid u are.
  
  go pray to ur imaginary friend.
  
  Comment Hidden ( show )
  
  -5
  
  -5
  - Anonymous Post Author
    
    11 years ago
    
    Anyone reading this can discern easily via content and language usage who needs to grow up here. The absurdity of your comments is absolutely hilarious.
    
    I do realize that I am playing into your sick game by replying; therefore, if you persist in addressing me further I will not reply.
    
    Comment Hidden ( show )
    
    3
    
    3
- [Old Memory]
  
  11 years ago
  
  You sound really really bitter. And i'm pretty sure it's not because of your fiance's condition.
  Go seek professional help.
  
  Comment Hidden ( show )
  
  -7
  
  -7
  - Anonymous Post Author
    
    11 years ago
    
    The comment was in reply to magzan's comment. It seems a bit out of place that I erred and it showed up as its own comment instead of a reply.
    
    Comment Hidden ( show )
    
    2
    
    2
NeuroNeptunian

11 years ago

I didn't even have a wedding and hearing about the need for an OMGPERFECTWEDDING bothers me if I hear it enough. But that's because I don't see the importance of it, to be honest. You need to stay away from those forums and shit that stresses you out.

In addition, I too share your rage with the breeders. They breed children they can't feed with little regard for life all the while I sit here meticulously planning my career, my finances, the ASVAB I'll be taking tomorrow which will essentially determine the quality of my career and what I can provide etc. etc. In hopes that one day I'll be able to have at least one. And these people just pop em out like it ain't no thang but a chicken wang.

But seriously, stay away from those forums and other areas where spoiled, snobby bitches congregate.

Comment Hidden ( show )

2

2
- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  You are awesome. Good luck with everything. Your perseverance will pay off, and you will deserve it so much because of it.
  
  Comment Hidden ( show )
  
  1
  
  1
RoseIsabella

11 years ago

So if you're prohibited from planning ya'll wedding then who's doing it? Has it been postponed? I'm truly sorry about the cancer. I hope he pulls through.

Comment Hidden ( show )

2

2
- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  I want to thank you also for your kind words. You are a beautiful person.
  
  Comment Hidden ( show )
  
  0
  
  0
  - RoseIsabella
    
    11 years ago
    
    Your very welcome! I'm happy to say some prayers for ya'll. God bless you both in this difficult time!
    
    Comment Hidden ( show )
    
    2
    
    2
- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  There isn't any planning going on because of the uncertainty involved. We hadn't had time at all to even enjoy being excited for a few days and telling family and friends after becoming engaged because the diagnosis happened so close after. Instead of phoning our families with good news, we had to call them and tell them terrible news, at a time that is supposed to be happy.
  
  Comment Hidden ( show )
  
  0
  
  0
[Old Memory]

11 years ago

Yeah, well, everyone has a different life. Why can't they want their wedding to be perfect? You only live once, and hopefully only get married once. Some people can afford to be picky and some can't. I am sure you have had times where you could be a "princess" and times like now, where you can't. I'm sure it hurts, but why be bitter, why judge? What does it do? If they found out you'd only make them hurt as much as you do. Do you really want that? I hope not. I mean, so long as they aren't clearing a forest for their wedding, making snails endangered because they just have to have them, telling Haitians they have to leave because seeing them makes their honeymoon ugly, etc. I think it's okay. It's their big day. It's supposed to be once in a lifetime. If it's not for you to make a big deal of it then that's okay too. I hope your man gets better. I know some cancer survivors myself. There is always adoption. There are plenty of orphaned children that need parents. Maybe you could both come together and make each other feel better? (You and a child that needs parents?)

Comment Hidden ( show )

1

1
- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  My problem is not big flashy weddings, it's the apparently fashionable mentality that weddings are of the utmost importance and people are secondary. I suppose it is some sort of odd jealousy of a naive bride's narcissism. Of course I do not want to make anyone miserable, but I suppose when I read that stuff I just think to myself, "Why can't people see that love and health make life perfect and not things?" Especially something as fleeting as a wedding. Sure, the memories will last a lifetime but I think in all that chaos and money people forget how lucky they are that their worries are things as insignificant as cake fillings and the chicken dance.
  
  Regarding adoption, you have made excellent points; however, it is hard to be told that you may not have the opportunity to have your own children who carry your bloodline and share your characteristics. Therefore, it is quite difficult to fully embrace the action of adoption when the choice of how to complete your family may have been made for you by a disease that nobody deserves to have. Maybe one day it will be easier to come around, but now it is too early. I love to make others lives happier, but it's so hard to not be scared, confused, and angry about it this early on.
  
  Thank you for your kindness. I honestly feel less bitter as I read your responses and think about your suggestions.
  
  Comment Hidden ( show )
  
  1
  
  1
  - [Old Memory]
    
    11 years ago
    
    Well, saying this might make you like me a little bit less...
    
    Even if you could have children, it would not be fair to have a child that would have to endure their father being sick, needing so much care when your family and friends should be focused on caring for the child, being somewhat unavailable because their father does not have the energy, etc. and it would not be fair to have a child that would have to endure the death of their father.
    
    Your husband may be depressed because he can't care more for and be for available to the child, too.
    
    If you were to adopt, I think the child may be more resilient towards strife, and may have already endured it, and may be really appreciative to have any kind of parents.
    
    Even then, you and him probably have great things to offer your own child. I'm just trying to bring up some important points.
    
    I think at least some of these people have depth, but you do not see it. How well do you know them? I suppose if they had a charity fundraiser at their wedding they would be closer to your ideals?
    
    Some of them probably do really suck and are shallow most of the time.
    
    But yes, it's best not to judge.
    
    I had heard of some cancer "cures" on curezone.com I sent them to another user on here, but he just ignored me. Maybe they would be of some use to you? They are alternative medicine.
    
    Comment Hidden ( show )
    
    0
    
    0
Terence_the_viking

11 years ago

Goodluck i hope everything works out for you.

Comment Hidden ( show )

1

1
- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  Thank you.
  
  Comment Hidden ( show )
  
  0
  
  0
dirtybirdy

11 years ago

Anyway op, sorry about your situation. Hope your mans ok and that everything works out for you two.

Comment Hidden ( show )

1

1
- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  Thanks. I'm the sort of person who is really emotional but tends to hold it all in. I know we are strangers but it really is comforting to read the replies of compassionate people. I feel like in my real, not anonymous life, that I have to keep my brave face on for him.
  
  Comment Hidden ( show )
  
  0
  
  0
Sailor_Cosmos

11 years ago

I'm sorry about your fiance and I totally hear you on weddings. Society and the media hypes them up mainly because weddings are big business money makers. The average wedding is about $20k these days. Frankly, a big fancy wedding is a waste of money especially if you can't really afford it. You can take all that money and save for a house or pay off some personal debts so you can enter the marriage unburdened. A big fancy wedding not to mention, is no indicator of a good marriage in the future. Also, for some people raised to believe that getting married is the be all and end all, the wedding day is the highlight of their lives...which is pretty effing sad if you ask me, considering there is so much to do and see in this world that one day and one party is the climax of it all.....

Comment Hidden ( show )

0

0
changes123

11 years ago

Tell me about it. Have you seen Bridezillas? If I had to deal with the nasty attitudes of those brides... My goodness... I think I would detonate.

They act like spoiled brats and take the fun out of the entire marriage ceremony. Sometimes I just want to give them a nice juicy backhand.

My wedding will definitely be small... if something goes wrong then Hakuna Mata. Things happen, and you still have those you love around you.

Comment Hidden ( show )

0

0
ucipher8

11 years ago

Personally i don't believe in marriage. Its a piece of paper. Children however, thats something else. What can you say about two people who had children and stayed together until they died out of wedlock?

Keep your notarized document, i have something that can't just be recycled, just reincarnated.

And plus, you do unto others as they do to you

Comment Hidden ( show )

-2

-2

Are You Normal?

Is it normal that it the "wedding" obsession thing pisses me off?