Is it normal that it seems like he changed?

64% Normal
14 Comments

I seem to talk about my bf a lot, I just really love him. Lately it seems like he's just stopped caring. Earlier in the relationship he was perfect; he always wanted to be with me, he texted me all the time, complimented me alottttttt, did anything for me & made me feel special. Now I text him and say I'm bored at home & he says to go hang out with friends. I see them enough though, we only see each other like once a week now if I'm lucky. And the last time we hung out I basically had to beg because he was like "idk. I'm not doing anything today I'm tired" which is stupid because he goes & hangs at his friend's house a lot. And they see each other at school. It's like he doesn't want me around anymore & it hurts my feelings when he's with his friends & not me. I just want my old boyfriend back. :(
We've argued a few Times about this & it doesn't seem like anything I say is getting through to him, and I'm just being a "nag"...but I don't think its too much to ask for wanting to be around my bf more than once a week. Especially if we live in the same small town -___-.
Idk. He's gone through this phase before for a few months where he wouldn't really text me (says he just doesn't like to text anymore, its not me, its just boring) and yea he wanted space to sort shit out. Then this summer we started hanging out more frequently, which was amazing. Sad thing is he didn't do anything special for me on our first anniversary...or Valentines. Which is important to me cause I've never celebrated those things with someone before, and vice versa.
Idk. I think I just have high expectations in relationships. I'm thinking we should take a break for a while so he can see what he has & appreciate me more :/
It honestly hurts my feelings how I'll go out of my way for him but I can't even get him to text back or let me come over. I feel if I bring it up again its not gonna do me any good. I don't think its fair to be in a relationship but never get to see it, I don't feel apart of his life.
is it normal he is like this?
And how do I talk to him about it (again) without him getting mad? :/

Voting Results
64% Normal
Based on 14 votes (9 yes)
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Comments ( 14 )
  • Solophonic
    12 years ago

    I was about to agree that you have to take some initiative in the relationship, but seeing as you definitely have changes things. Maybe he is depressed or stressed, as a guy I completely understand the need for space but lately I've only been seeing my girlfriend about once a week and that isn't enough for me. Perhaps he isn't happy in the relationship, not that I'm blaming you as it could be all in his head.

    All I can recommend is show him you believe in him. Sometimes all a person needs is to know that somebody believes they are better than the rest and worth while. You also want to avoid giving himself a negative 3rd person view of himself. If you always tell him you never get to see each other, it becomes normal; instead say things like "I can't wait to see you" or "when I see you im giving you the biggest kiss (or whatever you want)", be endearing and not critical. Criticism has it's place but only when you truly feel it needs to be done, which is what you are rightfully doing right now. When things get better between you two don't criticize him for this phase, just be happy that you're together again.

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    • DrinaVonCheez
      12 years ago

      I just dk. Boys can be so confusing...
      But that's pretty good advice so thankies.
      The thing is how can I tell him stuff like "youre the best, you're so amazing, etc" when he hasn't been giving me his best? He hasn't shown me "amazing" in quite sometime.
      Idk I really hope he gets out of this phase soon, I really miss my boyfriend.

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    I'm really losing inspiration to answer this, feels like I'm always repeating the same thing.

    Anyways, I'll try it again.

    As you may or may not have noticed, his infatuation has worn off. This could explain everything. I don't mean it's all of it's fault, I blame him too in this for not caring about you. I don't like seeing females living this but I can't do much about it. Maybe you need to take a break or you have to lay down the cards and tell him you want to talk seriously. If he's going to get "mad" at you for trying to have a serious talk, well something inside of you should click that he's too immature for a relationship.

    I find it extremely sad that he hasn't done anything special for you on your anniversary, nor valentines day. If he wasn't that bad I'd ask you to give me his email and I'd give him tips of things to do but this guy seems like nothing would get to him. Don't get mad at me, just saying what I think.

    It's also not fair that you're getting your feelings hurt because you're doing your best for him and he isn't doing anything for you. To answer your question, I think that he isn't normal to treat his girlfriend that way.

    Like I said, if you try to have the serious talk with him and he dismisses it, you should really think about leaving him. Hopefully that will wake him up, if not, well he can enjoy his regrets, that's if he even loved and cared about you.

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    • DrinaVonCheez
      12 years ago

      Someone that gets it!
      Thank you for the advice. Yea it sucks but he eventually admitted he's tired of me, that's why he's keeping me away so it can work. According to him. We'll see if this break will bring back his old feelings

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  • trustno177
    12 years ago

    Yes its normal that he is acting the way he is . That's how they all seem to act when they are cheating . Just run and find me .

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  • DrinaVonCheez
    12 years ago

    We took a break shortly after I wrote this.
    And like 4 hours later he's already texting me >:]
    But we are still "single." And still on a break but he's sad so, he caved in as far as talking goes lol
    I must say, I have him exactly where I want him.

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    • [Old Memory]
      12 years ago

      Make him suffer a little. Show him how he's made you feel. I hope he'll learn his lesson and better himself to bring you happiness. I hope everything will work out like you want it to.

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      • DrinaVonCheez
        12 years ago

        Yea I'm definitely not gonna make myself too available, he's gotta work for it. So far he's been making all the moves & I fucking love it. I'm getting everything I want so far so maybe this break is a blessing in disguise..
        But thanks for all the advice its very helpful ha

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        • [Old Memory]
          12 years ago

          No problem, glad I could help. Although when I was writting I thought I was just blabbing and saying anything in any order, I need a break from relationship help comments.

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    I'm going through the same exact thing :-(

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    • DrinaVonCheez
      12 years ago

      I sowwey :(
      I recommend going on a break! He'll start to miss you.

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  • :)BABYDOLL:)
    12 years ago

    YES ITS NORMAL for any guy or girl to act like this. It happens to every one sooner or later.

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  • carnage53
    12 years ago

    Dear girl, why should all the weight of a relationship should be on the male part, why should always be the man that should do something special for the aanniversary if you wanted something special make it yourself.

    Most women have no idea how to be romantic, all the romantic obligation is left for the man seriously why, as a woman you know what you want so do it yourself, man can't read women minds your heads are like frikin huricans.

    It took me a lot of trial and time to have a gf that actually shares a relationship and not awaits everything from me, and viceversa. Last valentine I didn't want to do anything, I was just depressed and bored, the relationship was on the cold side, and guess who reheated it this year my dear gf, yeah I was so frikin surprised by her initiative that actually got me out of my bad mood... that was a nice feeling that actually I am appreciated by my gf and doesn't take everything for granted.

    The question for you is: when was the last time you did something for the relationship beside expecting everything from him ?

    Also guys like getting text messages but not like every 5 minutes, that is called nagging and it also puts pressure cuz you need to answer it and answer satisfactory for you...

    The thing is now to get him excited to be with you again, be spontanious, do things you didn't did before, if you know the term be tsundere :)) or the equivalent bitter sweet boys tend to love that :))

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    • DrinaVonCheez
      12 years ago

      First of all, I do PLENTY of stuff for him. On Vday he mentioned making a cake but idk what happened. I, on the other hand, made him a plate of color-coordinated cupcakes w/ pop rock sprinkles, I got him a cute card, and brought his mom flowers. I bend over backwards for him if he needs me. I'll cancel plans with friends to go see him, give him massages, bring him McDonald's late at night, I even paid for condoms & bought him Xbox Live points on a couple ocassions lol. On our anniversary I initiated that we go do something, and the night before that I secretly delivered a 4 page love letter so he could get it in his mailbox on midnight. He did nothing.
      I do a lot of sweet stuff & I put him first before anything. I try so hard to be the perfect girlfriend so I think I deserve some attention. I really don't think that's asking too much. :/

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