Is it normal that in every relationship i have, i just want a family?

50% Normal
4 Comments

Every relationship I get into, give it a few months for me to fall in love, and then I just want to get married and have a baby.
But I think that's what has pushed all my past boyfriends away. I hardly speak about it, I just hint about it every now and again. I previously had a miscarriage, which I had to go through totally on my own (no exaggeration) and I feel like there's a bit of a hole in me. But I was having these feelings of settling down before I had the miscarriage.
I know it may sound strange but I was going to give everything up for my ex boyfriend. I was going to quit university, go into my chosen career another route and just be with him. I didn't care about my future as long as it was with him. I just really wanted to marry him and have a baby, even though admittedly I wasn't madly in love with him.
Right now I enjoy being single and having no responsibility. But something has knocked my confidence/self esteem recently. I can't foresee my future at all. I can only foresee the next three days. It's so unpredictable and I don't like it. Right now, I feel slightly desperate just to get my ex to take me back, or find a new boyfriend because I feel the need to settle down. I need that security.
IIN?

Voting Results
50% Normal
Based on 38 votes (19 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 4 )
  • VioletTrees
    11 years ago

    If you start making noises about marriage and babies that early in the relationship, it comes across as pushy and clingy.

    It sounds to me like you're not approaching this from a very healthy place right now. You're in such a hurry to have a family that you would have gone to great lengths to settle for your ex, even though you admit that you weren't madly in love with him. It's fine to want a family, but you need to have your own life, too. It sounds like you're really desperate for some stability, and that a family sounds like the answer to that need. The thing is, families aren't stable on their own. YOU have to be stable for your family to stand, especially if you have children.

    It really doesn't seem like you're ready to have children, to me. You need to get your shit together before you can hold other people up.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
  • ForMyPeaceOfMind
    11 years ago

    I guess for some young women, it's normal to want to take a relationship to the next step. However, it's not normal to pursue such a thing in the early stages of a relationship! I know you desire to get married and have kids, but you're still very young...take care of what needs to be taken care of now, and in time...when you're ready...hopefully down the line, those things will come to you. Be patient about the process of things! Enjoy the moment you're in now!!!

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
  • adollarofsand
    11 years ago

    Get settled, find a person you really love who wants the same thing, enjoy your relationship in the mean time take care of friend's kids. Get a job or volunteer working with babies/toddlers/children and when you're financially stable and ready emotionally (your partner too) then go for it. But it's risky not only for you but for your future child's future to do otherwise.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • fullhouse
    11 years ago

    If you feel you are ready for a baby n family then go for it. But I guess you are too young so you might want to rethink it.
    Yes guys your age won't want yo settle so early.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0