Is it normal that im not over my ex and its been 3 yrs?

We met in 2008 and quickly fell in love but the romance didn't last very long. There were too many obstacles and we were both too young to understand how we should have handled the situation. This person was my first true love, we connected so quickly in just about every way. But had to keep our relantionship secret from my family. For the fact that it was a lesbian relationship. This was my first relationship with someone of the same sex. She knew this, she gave me the courage to finally accept myself. I felt like me and her could take over the world! Her creativity and talent were fascinating to me, the feeling was mutual.

But I was too proud/scared to admit to her that I was in love with her. Even though she told me she was in love w. me. I realize now that I perhaps didnt appreciate what we had. I was quick to say bye to her and she begged a few times, but my pride took over.

Then after our seperation she immediately got into a relationship w. someone else. This was a crush to my self esteem. I felt like what we had was worthless and she never loved me. But soon enough she came back to me and confessed everything! Telling me the whole time she was w. her gf she always wondered how things would have been if we had stayed together and that she was unhappy. We started talking again but never got to see each other (this was a yr later). She would constantly come back to me time after time. I felt she was playing games, so I would ignore her. Then I guess she went back w. her gf.

But finally came back to me last year begging to see me. We had a really nice night bc we got to do a lot of things we never got to do when we were together 2 yrs ago. That night she was talking as if we were going to get back together. That night I spilt my guts to her and told her I was still in love with her. I guess that didnt affect her.

When she went back home she started ignoring me again. She dissapeared and after a week or two sent me a text saying that "I had changed too much and that seeing me this time was it for her." I guess she meant she no longer loved me. I was destroyed! I couldnt handle this emotionally, she had done it to me again! I felt very dumb. I couldnt stop crying for weeks! I felt so weak. Then later on I found out she got into a relationship yet again w. someone else. I then swore to myself that I WOULD NEVER AGAIN talk to her.

Then a few months later I got very sick and she some how found out. She hit me up through AIM, asking to see how I was. I dont understand why she did that? She obviously doesn't care about me! or does she? This was last yr. Now its 2011 and I'm sitting up at almost 3am wondering about her. Wanting to have her in my life more than ever. I have also recently found out that she has broken up w. the girl she left me for. I dont know what to think. I want to contact her. Would I be making a big mistake? Why am I still not over her? I feel pathetic. Is this normal? help. Its been almost 3 yrs!