Is it normal that im in love but not happy?

42% Normal
13 Comments

Is it normal to be so in love with someoneand be so pationate about them but yet not happy? Ive been dating this guy for about 4 months and i love him to death id do anything for him...but lately its just not the same we just argue or i get mad all the time he does everything for me takes me out drives me places treats me to a night out at my favorite dinning places does everything for me.but theres a few things hindering our relationship from prospering,one ive never been and probably never will be attracted to him, two i often think of my life with some one else ,three my sex drive has COMPLETELY died and four im highly depressed.. the sad thing is number one is mainly the whole reason i feel like were going down hill... i dont know wheather to stay or not...hell be so broken if i left and i probably will be too for a while..but im already depressed as it is..

Voting Results
42% Normal
Based on 57 votes (24 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 13 )
  • RoseIsabella
    10 years ago | pl

    Why are you with someone to whom you're not physically attracted? You're not "in love" with this person, you love him as a platonic friend. Your relationship is a lie! No wonder you're depressed. Staying in this relationship is not fair to your so called boyfriend. You know deep down inside that your using him.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    11
    11
      -
    • justjessica
      10 years ago

      Im not using him ,although perhaps maybe i am dating him tokill my lonliness,hes my only friend and my best friend...i wouldnt be sad if i broke up with him and we really stayed tight friends ..but it will never be like that he said itd be too hard being friends and i cant handle losing him completely...

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • RoseIsabella
        10 years ago

        You have gotten yourself in a pickle there, girl. Sounds like your learning a painful lesson too. Dating and, sex especially, change everything. Even if there was no genuine physical attraction on your part the shared experiences were still had and it's out there, you can't change that or take back the past. More than likely he will feel bitter and used if and when you tell him the truth. Hopefully your friendship will survive this but if not you will have to accept the outcome and respect his feelings.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
  • TweedRanger
    10 years ago

    Happiness and love are two separate things. I don't really understand how the two are so often conflated. It's normal to be in love but not happy. Many people are happy but aren't in love, many are in love but aren't happy.
    This common belief that being in a relationship will make someone happy is dangerous.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    4
    4
  • Shackleford96
    10 years ago

    How could you love someone you're not attracted to?

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    4
    4
      -
    • RoseIsabella
      10 years ago

      That's what I'm talkin' bout. I think she could love him as a platonic friend but not romantically.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • Shackleford96
        10 years ago | pl

        I agree. I was very tempted to rage at OP and say some very negative things, because I've been used before. It's not nice. I restrained myself though.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        6
        6
  • christy38
    10 years ago

    Maybe ur depressed cause of other reasons that is going on in ur life because in all he sounds like a very nice guy just cause ur not attracted to him only plays a small role in a relationship in my opinion anyways. Maybe go see a family doctor tell him whats going on and he can give you a little boost. Would you rather have a hot guy who treats you like crap and cheats on you or would you rather have a not so hot guy that would give you the world. Think about it!

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
  • TheProph
    10 years ago

    Yes, it's normal. The "honeymoon phase" is over.

    If you keep fighting non stop though, you need to address it. Either try to fix the relationship, or end it. Regardless of "loving" someone, if you're unhappy, you're unhappy, and no one should do something that makes them unhappy.

    The meaning of life is to live it how you see fit.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • thegypsysailor
    10 years ago

    This may be a problem of familiarity. You are obviously no longer into this guy, but still care for him enough to not want to hurt him.
    If he is not completely insensitive, he must have some notion that things have changed between you two, and perhaps he also would like to separate, but he doesn't want to hurt you.
    Don't you think it's about time you two talked like adults; no yelling, accusations, or emotions. Just plain honest talk.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • ccjigsaw
    10 years ago

    Two positives make a negative. You're awesomeing each other out!!

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • Terence_the_viking
    10 years ago

    oh noes you should go out for pizza sometime.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • justjessica
    10 years ago

    How could i break up with someone i love deeply? I love him so much its overpowering most of you say i am using him that i am selfish ... did you ever think to see it my way ? I love this guy so much i rather hurt myself every SINGLE day then see him hurt for a couple of weeks.. you dont understand alot of you...if we break up i lose my best friend...my only friend...the person ive come to base my life around im with him almost every day how can i just go from that to not seeing him at all? No more friendship no more caring and no more loving...i can never make my mind up on things like this...

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0