Is it normal that i would put my disabled baby up for adoption?

76% Normal
19 Comments

I'm not having a child now , but I do not believe I could handle a disabled child.

I spent my whole childhood raising my cruel brother with me , whom has a chromosome deletion.
My parents cant stand him and would ignore him when he went off screaming on a rampage, but they do love him. I thought of suicide so many times when I has 13-14 after my dad kept telling me I'd be stuck with him for life , having him live in my home and off of my job.I still can't bear the thought , but he's my responsibility I guess , he always has been .
. They ended up pushing him away , and setting him on my shoulders. ( I'm only 4 years older)

If I where my parents , and had the option to abort or put in for adoption , I would have done it.
Is it normal ?

Voting Results
76% Normal
Based on 79 votes (60 yes)
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Comments ( 19 )
  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    You could always sell him to some kind of traveling carnival freek show or something. Is he weird looking or just weird acting? They usually arent mutually exclusive.

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  • randomperson1000000
    10 years ago

    I'd say to consider abortion first. But, if some fascists decide to outlaw that, then sure- adoption it is.

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  • EdWall234
    12 years ago

    I have a cousin who is mentally disabled and every time I see him I find myself thinking how much easier life would be for his family if he was no longer there. An awful thought I know. Yet there is no denying that the mentally disabled require the forfeit of a majority of their families future goals and social lives.

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    • NobodyKnows
      8 years ago

      That's a case where I'd say both the disabled kid and the family would be better of if the kid was in a group home, or something. I mean is it really doing the disabled kid any favors, if the people taking care of him don't really want to and think of him as a burdon? What's so cruel about letting him live with people who actually *choose* to take care of him, and are professionals know know what they are doing?

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  • TurboDiesel
    12 years ago

    3/10/2012

    Your parents sound like real "pieces of work". They should be ashamed of themselves for pushing their disabled son on you. He absolutely should NOT be your responsibility. <BR><BR>Granted, your brother's condition is unfair to all of you, but you aren't the one that bore him, your mother is. Whether your parents like it or not, life's unfair - and THEY need to deal with it. <BR><BR>YOU should be entitled to a "normal" life and not be burdened by your brother for the rest of yours. <BR><BR>Good grief &amp; best of luck in the future.<BR><BR>P.S. Please don't kill yourself. (Hell, you're the "normal one"!) If you can't handle your brother for the rest of your life (nor should you IMHO), there are places out there that can take him from you and care for his needs. As a sibling, you shouldn't be the one to bear his burdens alone.

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  • partofeveryone
    12 years ago

    I guess its normal. Unfortunate, but normal. Don't worry, you wouldn't be a bad parent if you did opt for adoption. You'd be doing what you think is best

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  • Avant-Garde
    12 years ago

    If you feel that you wouldn't be able to care for it or don't want it to suffer in the world, then I think adoption or abortion would be a good step.

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  • assh0le
    12 years ago

    If your family has poor quality genes running through it you shouldn't be having kids at all. Why should society have to keep picking up the tab?

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    • Avant-Garde
      12 years ago

      Some people have genetic effects that they aren't aware of. I have a few health problems that I didn't find out about until recently. Society isn't really the one who picks up the tab. It's the family and the person who's ill that has to deal with all the negativity and what not.

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      • assh0le
        12 years ago

        The OP is someone who is aware. I thought that's what we were discussing?
        In the UK, society picks up the tab.

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    • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
      12 years ago

      Don'tcha know? Personal responsibility is so out dated *rolls eyes*

      at least that's what it seems like...

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  • zchristian
    12 years ago

    If you are sure that you cant handle it then sure you should.

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  • suckonthis9
    12 years ago

    If there is a strong chance that your child is going to be disabled, I would think that prevention/ abortion would be the better option.

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  • randomperson1000000
    5 years ago

    That's the least you can do.

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  • NobodyKnows
    8 years ago

    Fifty years ago it was normal to put such a child in an institution. This went out of fashion because the institutions back then were horrible. But they're much better nowadays, and I don't see why people should be demonized by society for putting children they can't take proper care of in the hands of professionals.

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  • redhead5394
    8 years ago

    Never consider murder/abortion an option. adoption is always the best option. Most importantly if you don't want to take the chance of getting pregnant USE PROTECTION OR BIRTH CONTROL. Special needs children don't need to be raised in such terrible surroundings. And it sounds like you didn't need to be there either. I would have reported them in a heartbeat. There are so many people that would love to have a child but can't. People don't realize how lucky they truly are. Each child is a gift from God.

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  • astranger
    11 years ago

    As mean as it may sound, it's just natural selection. So yes. It's normal :)

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  • TurboDiesel
    12 years ago

    To answer your question, "Is it normal that you would put your disabled baby up for adoption"... Yeah, it's normal. However, would I suggest it? No. Mostly due to the fact that the odds are that the retarded child would just remain a ward of the state and not ever have any decent quality of life.

    Truthfully, it really depends on your situation in life, such as ...how old are you? ...is the father present and willing to care for the child also (financially, physically, emotionally, etc.)? ...are you personally financially able to deal with a disabled child? ...do you yourself have the type of personality and extreme patience required to deal with a retarded child? ...are you willing to bear the "burden" of a retarded child? In addition, many more questions.

    If a child's deformity (-ies) is (are) known in advance, then an abortion would clearly be the right thing to do. However, if not known in advance, and the child is born, you would then need to decide for yourself if you're willing and able to care for a child with mental retardation or any other type of "special-needs" that he/she may have.

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    If you think you can't handle a disabled baby then just don't have kids. Seeing that your brother has a chromosone deletion (which is obviously genetic) you could very likely have a baby with the same disability. Don't have kids if you can't handle that.

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