Is it normal that i would do anything for my teacher's forgiveness?

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13 Comments

I am a Junior in HS, a girl, and had a close bond to my Science teacher. I look up to her in so many ways, I wish I was like her. During my Sophomore year, I had a lot of trouble with her. I emailed her constantly. I have attachment disorder, which is why I did this. She told me to stop and that she understands that I want to be close to her and stuff, but that I also need to control my actions. I have been through alot with her. ALOT. Even through my constant emailing, she has been there for me through some of my hardest HS times last year.
However lately, I have been having a ton of trouble with her, and just frustrated with her to the point where I am yelling at her. I don't know why this is happening. But it got to the point where she emailed my mom. She forwarded the email to me so I could see what she had sent to my mom. She sent me this AFTER she talked to me.
This is what she emailed my mom today:

Bonny,
This is what I plan to talk about:
She wants me not to tell you what she tells me: Because she uses that opportunity to make things up and tell me lies.
She has intruded on my personal life. Contacting and stalking my friends and family members. Causing me to have to explain her behavior to everyone.

I understand she does these types of things because of the separation disorder. I am not punishing her in any way for that behavior. I am only asking her to do what I expect every other student to do.

However, because of these past actions she cannot expect that I will trust anything she tells me as being true.

I'm sure she will argue with me about it, deny it and/or blame me for it, but at this point maybe she just needs to hear it.

What do you think?

Dawn

**So, she did say this all to me. And it hurts so bad. I never thought she actually thought this of me! I mean, she has always been there for me.
The part that hurts the most is when she told me that it will never be the same between us two bc I burned the bridge and I ruined it. :(

What can I do? She is like my idol! I need her so bad, and I will never be close to her again!

Voting Results
8% Normal
Based on 37 votes (3 yes)
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Comments ( 13 )
  • RoseIsabella
    10 years ago

    Get a clue, there's nothing you can do! Stop using your mental illness as an excuse. Take your medication as prescribed and work on this issue with your therapist ! You probably need to see the psychiatrist for an increase or change in medication. Learn to accept that you are powerless over people, places and things and you will be a much happier person. The ONLY person you can change is yourself! You wouldn't want someone stalking you so why do you continue to stalk and harass your teacher? In fact, if you continue to harass her don't be surprised if she takes out a restraining order on you and or transfers schools.

    I'm truly sorry that you suffer from this disorder but having a disorder is not an excuse for bad behavior it's more of a reason to work on yourself and your recovery. Here's a prayer that can be of great help when you are feeling compulsive. You can repeat it like a mantra if you have to as it's quite short.

    The Serenity Prayer

    God grant me the serenity
    To accept the things I cannot change;
    Courage to change the things I can;
    And wisdom to know the difference.

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    • KeddersPrincess
      10 years ago

      Nothing's ever quite as it seems
      Just look a little closer at me... :D

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      • RoseIsabella
        10 years ago

        I hope this works!
        ;-)

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tK5b8YyQcjo&feature=youtube_gdata_player

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        • KeddersPrincess
          10 years ago

          ;D

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          • RoseIsabella
            10 years ago

            YaY! :-)

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  • tittle
    10 years ago

    Let go. The more you push, the more you push people away (ya big psycho!!!).

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  • Sujata
    10 years ago

    I know...
    I have been trying. Thanks everyone!!! Things are getting extremely better between us now...

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  • Avant-Garde
    10 years ago

    You've ruined things and from the sound of things, you'll probably never have another chance to fix the relationship. Please see a therapist, try to learn some self-control and back off. If you don't watch it, she may take legal action against you. You are very lucky that she hasn't already done this.

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  • Sujata
    10 years ago

    Well, I guess it's too late. She took me out of her classes. :(

    This was right before Thankgiving. She told me yesterday that she misses me being in her room, but she's afraid of what other ppl may say if she lets me back in her room/classes.

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  • dawookie
    10 years ago

    I'm sure if you weren't a complete psycho this wouldn't happen

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  • pacinoharmon
    10 years ago

    Did you really harass her family members? If so, no offense but it's understandable why she's bothered. I'm sorry to hear about your disorder, and it is totally okay to find comfort in someone, but you went a little overboard. Just apologise if you haven't already and keep your distance for a while. Maybe things will go back to the way they were...there's always hope.

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    • Sujata
      10 years ago

      Honestly, I didnt harass them, that I know of...

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  • Sujata
    10 years ago

    Thanks. :)

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