Is it normal that i wonder if i'm gay because of my best friend

I have or had a best friend for the past four years. We used to be attached at the hip, talked every day, went out every weekend, and shared so many things. I'm writing because people began thinking my best friend and I were gay. I never thought about it until someone brought it up. We used to cuddle at sleep overs that she would invite me over for constantly. She would massage my back and legs, give me pecks on my cheeks, rubbed my belly, we would spoon and fall asleep doing so and she absolutely adored me. I was obviously very attached and reciprocated everything more so. This was when we were both in college and working part time. She's a few years older than I am and now we hardly talk. We used to mean everything to each other but she started pushing me away. She stopped responding to texts, hardly go out now and when we do it is ackward. Shes become rude and demeaning. When i brought this up she said shes busy with work and needs her own space. when we do see each other she seems irritated and acts like everything is ok. we dont cuddle and stuff anymore since i havent been to her house in some time.I've always been a bit of a tom boy and she used to be as well so now I'm confused I'm not sure if I'm a lesbian and worse I feel like I'm in love with her but she doesn't seem to feel the same and Im not sure she's straight since she initiated our friendship and all the physical stuff. Can my best friend be gay? Am I? Is she pushing me away because she thinks I am ? I really miss her and her affection I've actually cried just thinking about it. Help shed some light.

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74% Normal
Based on 78 votes (58 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • Sog

    Maybe you should tell her everything that you just wrote here. There's no more good that can come from keeping this to yourself.

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  • LostFounder

    I knew a girl like your best friend at one point in my life. She also had a really good friend who she would be intimate with, just like you and your bf. She was bisexual. What was special about her was her ability to make her friends literally fall head over heels over her, almost to the point of sexual love. Her best friend was also a girl who was tomboyish. So yes, consider the fact that you may be bi-curious and that you were in love with her. Now that she no longer reciprocates, you're devastated. But don't worry hon, it's very likely that you're not the problem. That girl I knew had abandonment issues when she was younger, so she's very good at attaching to people and make them attached to her, only to fear abandonment again. So she had a habit of breaking off relationships and not committing. Hope I enlightened you.

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    • 1990cb

      Devastated is an understatement I find myself thinking about her everyday and wondering why she's just disappeared and is so distant like we were never friends. I know I shouldn't want to be fiends with someone who acts that way towards me but I just can't let it go. Keep wondering if I'm to blame even though I know I'm not because I tried fixing things between us. Thank you for your comment it did help do you still talk to that friend? Did she stop being that way?

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  • nkwacky

    Been there, done that, mate. I'm a guy, and I fell for my straight buddy. I never asked him out, but people started doubting us cause we would always stay together. He started pushing me away and I was very hurt.
    I guess she's straight and doesn't want you around cause she suspects you like her. I know this is difficult but the best you can do is stay away and give her space. She might come around and again be your friend in the future. But if you push this now, it might ruin your friendship.
    Besides, some time away will do you good. Straight crushes are the worst. You gotta move on.

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    • watashikara

      Man it can really suck for you gays sometimes.

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  • People are confusing. you may never actually know why she is distancing from you. especially if you asked and she ignored the question. maybe she decided she didnt want that kind of relationship but doesnt want to hurt your feelings so she is distancing herself.

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