Is it normal that i will never love my mother

20 years old and i feel like this feeling will never go away. ever since i was little i have never had a relationship with my mom. you would think we're the perfect family, mom and dad still together, 2 children, a boy and a girl. i have always been a "daddys girl" and always wanted to do family activities excluding my mom. she always looked down on me for things i did wrong and never anything i did right, and still does it to this day. she always put my dad in the middl of it and he would feel bad when he would stick up for me, so by now he's just used to it. i wish it weren't this way, bt every little thing she does bothers me. her voice, the way she walks, the way she has to bargain with EVERYONE and try to get discounts and use as many coupons as possible. its so embarrassing to me how she fights with every worker/server she comes in contact with. she thinks her jokes are funny, they aren't. i wish i could just blow it off and not be bothered by it but i am. literally every single thing she says or does is disgusting to me. she tries to kiss me and hug me and i feel so gross i hate it. she tells me i love you on the phone and i just want to hang up. I'm 20 and she babies me. I'm in college and STILL if i do not text her when i get home when I'm out she panics, wakes the whole family up, and will call (if she has their numbers) my boyfriend, friends, the front desk lady at my apartment complex, anyone to get in touch with me. its pathetic she panics this much. she has been taking medication but still no help. if my phone dies, i pray i charge it because if i don't who knows she could come looking for me because she is that insane. she is always making me feel like shit when i tell her to go fuck herself but i can't help it i have to say it. i have so much hatred and i wish i didn't but i always have and feel like i always will. she has 1 sister (my aunt) and they talk several times a day. she is so close with her sister and she's the same as my mom. they're both insane. when I'm older with a family and kids i hope i never do this to them. i could never be one of those girls who love their mom. all my friends do fun things with their moms and say how their mom is their best friend. i don't understand. i have never had that relationship with her because everything she says or does disgusts me. i sometimes wish it wasn't like this but it just is. i would never want my children to feel the way i do about my mom.

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51% Normal
Based on 41 votes (21 yes)
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Comments ( 3 )
  • lightandlove

    Hello! I think in your case there is no obvious reason (like some sort of abuse or neglect or betrayal etc.) for you to hate your mother this much. But maybe you had some traumatic experience in your early childhood that you have forgotten about? There are ways to esplore the past and I personally found hypnotherapy helpful. Also, maybe what you feel is jelousy? It is normal for a daughter to feel in competition with her mother at some stage of life I guess....but this should pass as you mature and realise your own power as a woman. Also, if your mother is super controlling (like mine is) it is normal to feel annoyed with her constant interference especially as you grow older and feel that you are able to make your own decisions. Try talking to her about this and say something like: I understand that you worry about me and I appreciate your care, but I would like to have more trust from you that I am able to make sensible decisions... Also, i think it is normal to not like everything your mother says and does just like with any other person in the world... But it is definitely not ok to hate your mother all the time for no obvious reason, even if there is a personality crash between the two of you. Because if you want to be accepted for what you are you should be able to accept another person (especially your mother) just the way they are, especially when it is not hurting anyone really...

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  • Rainbowbash

    Same way with mine... Except it was primarily BS. Every word that came out of her mouth was BS. Litteral BS. It smelled. It was gross. She always turned the tables to make it seem like she was the victim when she couldn't deny she just threw a phone at me... When she barges into my apartment and says "Hon, can we cook together"? I'll normally say yes, but if I don't, she turns it to make it look like I hate her... Or maybe when I was young, she would try to make me take a pill that would make me different. I was fine. My IQ was, (and still is) over average, my capability of understanding is great, and I got along with everybody else except her. Dad heavily disagreed. Sadly, he was cancerous at the time, and couldn't do much. (Kind, Loving man.) She said she would irritate me if I didn't do whatever she wanted. That I couldn't do anything. I was just a tool. A fuckwit... I was her slave. I hated. When I was able to leave, I did. Phycological torment. Just some examples to give you a generalization.

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  • thegypsysailor

    Haven't y'all started your own "I hate my mommy" web site YET?
    Wait till you are the parent of a thankless, selfish, little shit.

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