Is it normal that i will never love my mother
20 years old and i feel like this feeling will never go away. ever since i was little i have never had a relationship with my mom. you would think we're the perfect family, mom and dad still together, 2 children, a boy and a girl. i have always been a "daddys girl" and always wanted to do family activities excluding my mom. she always looked down on me for things i did wrong and never anything i did right, and still does it to this day. she always put my dad in the middl of it and he would feel bad when he would stick up for me, so by now he's just used to it. i wish it weren't this way, bt every little thing she does bothers me. her voice, the way she walks, the way she has to bargain with EVERYONE and try to get discounts and use as many coupons as possible. its so embarrassing to me how she fights with every worker/server she comes in contact with. she thinks her jokes are funny, they aren't. i wish i could just blow it off and not be bothered by it but i am. literally every single thing she says or does is disgusting to me. she tries to kiss me and hug me and i feel so gross i hate it. she tells me i love you on the phone and i just want to hang up. I'm 20 and she babies me. I'm in college and STILL if i do not text her when i get home when I'm out she panics, wakes the whole family up, and will call (if she has their numbers) my boyfriend, friends, the front desk lady at my apartment complex, anyone to get in touch with me. its pathetic she panics this much. she has been taking medication but still no help. if my phone dies, i pray i charge it because if i don't who knows she could come looking for me because she is that insane. she is always making me feel like shit when i tell her to go fuck herself but i can't help it i have to say it. i have so much hatred and i wish i didn't but i always have and feel like i always will. she has 1 sister (my aunt) and they talk several times a day. she is so close with her sister and she's the same as my mom. they're both insane. when I'm older with a family and kids i hope i never do this to them. i could never be one of those girls who love their mom. all my friends do fun things with their moms and say how their mom is their best friend. i don't understand. i have never had that relationship with her because everything she says or does disgusts me. i sometimes wish it wasn't like this but it just is. i would never want my children to feel the way i do about my mom.