Is it normal that i was so crushed by this girl?

89% Normal

This summer I met a girl online who goes to my university. When school started we began texting each other pretty frequently. We kept trying to hang out but stuff kept getting in the way. However we were really beginning to connect and were texting non stop. She said that I was cute (we were friends on facebook) and I was the nicest guy she knew, and it meant a lot that I cared about her. We did run into each other once, but only spoke for like a minute, because we were in a rush. I was falling for her and she said she was falling for me too. This went on for a month

Then out of nowhere she met some guy, and boom there a couple. She knew him for about a week before they became official, and just like that I was out of the picture. She said she still wanted to be friends, but wasn't interested in me anymore. At first I said no, but then changed my mind, and said yeah we can be friends. However, we don't talk anymore.

Last time I spoke to her was about a month ago. I'm trying to meet some other girl, and I just know if I get another girl I'll be able to move on, but I still am not over her. I still lurk her on facebook like almost everyday for a minute, and I constantly wonder if she ever thinks about me. Every time I get a text, I always hope its her saying hi. I've seen her in the dining commons a few times, but haven't ever said hi. I always want to, but I figure there's no point, and I don't know what to say.

So what I'm asking is are my feelings normal? I know I'm best off moving on, and I'm trying too, but I can't believe I'm so affixiated on a girl who I only ever really texted. I'm worried that I won't be able to handle a genuine break up.

Voting Results

89% Normal

Based on 38 votes (34 yes)

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Comments ( 16 )

Terence_the_viking

11 years ago

This is what happens unfortunately if you really liked her as much as you say you do then you should have went out of your way to see her.

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- plum6
  
  11 years ago
  
  totally agree. If he would a bit more realistic about the situation and stop listening to his penis telling him he has a shot just because she said he was cute at one point, this would be pretty obvious.
  
  Easy for us to say though,I am pretty sure that most of us guys have difficulties differentiating between when a woman is simply flirting from showing actual interest in a similar situation.
  
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shuggy-chan

11 years ago

Life goes on, and u'll move on

And I must also say I was really disappointed, I was hoping this was a story about a guy that loves having sex with obese women and having the crush him. Lol

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iEatZombies_

11 years ago

She led you on and dumped the thought of you guys when a seemingly better opportunity came along. Don't let her fool you- she's not so great.

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MsWVgal

11 years ago

It's normal to feel hurt, especially if you guys just stopped talking too. Focus on school and friends - you don't need a rebound girl to get over that chick. Personally, I think you should remove her from Facebook, half because you guys don't talk and half because it is holding you up from moving on.
BTW, a genuine breakup would at least include a face to face discussion and understanding, not the "I'm bored, let's try out the NEW one!" attitude that this girl displayed.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  Definitely not a genuine break up, but she din't get bored. She met a person in real life, and real life trumps just texting.
  
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  - MsWVgal
    
    11 years ago
    
    Ok, I can only give you my opinion based on the info you gave me, and my own experiences. I agree there was no breakup because there was no exclusive relationship, BUT there was a mutual courtship, as it were, which deserves some amount of respect. "Real life trumps texting..." There are REAL people sending and receiving those texts. You can't just dismiss them. And I'm not saying that she literally got bored, rather that the dismissiveness you described is something i consider equivalent to dropping something because she found a new toy, which I think is wrong.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      11 years ago
      
      Yeah. You're right. Plus she was the one who kept blowing me off. I'd get it if I was the one bowing her off, making me a crappy "toy". But I was as good to her as I could possibly be (Even she acknowledged this), and I still got ditched.
      
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      - MsWVgal
        
        11 years ago
        
        Good luck guy. You'll find someone who makes you happy. This girl isn't worth lurking over... don't let her spoil your opinion of all us gals :-)
        
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raine-

11 years ago

I don't know if this will help, but for however long you "like" someone, it takes twice as long to get over them. You need to separate yourself from her completely in order to eventually let go of the emotional attachment you have towards her. Stop visiting her facebook page, stop looking for her calls and watching for her wherever you go; just don't. It's alright to think about her, that's normal, but try not to get into those "I wonder what it would be like if we got married someday" fantasies. Some people just have more of a connection with certain members of the opposite sex than others. It's not your fault. Try meditation and yoga even; there is a website called tinybuddha.com that really helps in almost any situation of life. Keep your head up, and good luck! :)

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ccjigsaw

11 years ago

She sounds fickle.. You should have jumped that when you had the chance.

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Thatguy777

11 years ago

I feel you man. That's how it was with this girl I had a crush on. Every time we tried to hangout, she never could. Eventually I just said fuck it and told her how I felt. She didn't feel the same way, but here's where you're luckier than I. She didn't even want to be friends anymore. At least the girl you crushed on still wants to be friends. The girl I crushed on kicked me out of her life...

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[Old Memory]

11 years ago

this is why i don't date

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Energy

11 years ago

Yep. That's what my ex did. They choose someone in real life over me. They broke up. And now they don't love me anymore to even get back with me. That's online relationships for ya. I still lurk on their ex's Facebook because my ex girl deleted her Facebook. It's a bitch. But there's not much you can do about it....time should heal. However, it's been about a year for me since the break up, and it still hurts. Oh well.

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Sog

11 years ago

You should have made time to hang out with her. That's the part of the story that you left out. How long did you expect this to go on? How long did you expect her to wait for you to grow a pair of balls and ask her out on a date?

You're lucky that she even let you string her along for such a long time.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  I asked her out plenty of times. It was always her who blew me off. Yet at the same time she started plenty of the conversations with me. Problem was she got really sick and had to go home, for a huge part of the time. So its not like she wasn't interested, but I was never the one not to ask her out. I probably asked her out 7 times. I should've just said screw it way earlier.
  
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Are You Normal?

Is it normal that i was so crushed by this girl?