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why is anal sex painful? i had tried it with my husband yet, it hurts even though only the head of his penis had been inserted, it hurts, we tried it again, but, still hurts.. what shall we do for it not to be painful?
It's painful because evolution only moves on when people spawn and people rarely spawn from anal sex. Evolution cares about pregnancy and successful childbirth. It doesn't give a hoot about the other stuff we like to do.
Yeahh... It's always going to hurt the first time. It's your asshole stretching out. Try this out. Get some lube, let him slip in, just the tip. Then sit there in agony for a little bit. The agony will subside and he will be able to continue from there. A mass amount of arousal helps to. Let him give you oral until you are sufficiently turned on. Either way, biggest tip, let him go in, wait for the pain to stop. Tell him not to move lol Just sit there.
If you really want to try it and are having trouble there are things you can do to make it easier. If he doesn't, get him to stretch you out with his fingers first (cut dem nails!) and make sure he goes really slowly. I know it's a little awkward but you've gotta relax the muscles back there too, a lot of the pain is caused just be clenching out of nervousness or excitement or whatever the fuck (in my experience anyway) and it will go easier if you just relaaaxx.
Also, liberal use of lube. I mean don't go emptying a bottle in there or anything, but make sure you're using a decent bit. I'd reccomend something water based, AstroGlide gets sticky.
Rules for anal sex / pegging / strap-ons / analingus
1. enema. It washes away any fecal material that may be left. It flushes some of the harmful bacteria out. You may use a soapy enema if you want a really clean feeling. Just be sure to do 2-3 clean water enemas after, since soap can be bad. (Ivory too, pure soap, not like irish spring with moisture balls) Besides cleaning things, the water will moisturize your very delicate insides, and help the internal muscles relax.
2. Lube. I prefer gel-lube, like Astroglide. (I used to use KY until developing an allergy to it) Oil lubes are what I call "slow" lubes. They take more force, and generate more friction. And cannot be used with condoms. Oh, and they take longer to wash off. ( Mineral oil, vaseline, olive oil, etc) Safe lotions and conditioners can be used in a pinch, but highly not recommended due the chemical additives. These due allow a bit less friction than oil though. (pure curel, organic conditioner, but I repeat, not advised) Fast lubes are usually water based, this makes them condom safe, and much easier to clean up. These allow even less friction, and are usually cheap enough to use copious amounts. Gel lubes tend to stay in place longer. Adding a bit of water (spit) will refresh the slippery (Astroglide, KY, Wet). There is a lube above those "super-fast" or "modern" and its silicone. It has the staying power of oil, and the friction reduction of a "fast" lube, if not even more. However, they are harder to clean up, cannot be used with most sex toys, and are the most expensive.
3. Lube on the outside is just lube on the outside. Find a way to "inject" it inside too. Lube shooters are a great little cheap invention. One squirt within the first half an inch, and another buried to the shooter's depth, ensures proper coverage. Why so much lube? It eases the pain, and because the rectum can't produce its own lubrication. Without lube, it would do some serious damage.
4. Start small! Maybe a finger. then two. You have to work your way up to toys / penis sized things. If you force something in to quickly, there is a very sharp pain that is centered around the muscles, not just the hole itself. The rectum doesn't stretch quite like the vagina, so when you go to deep, you'll feel a deep pain also. Taking your time and allowing you "hole" to stretch gradually, will absolutely ensure that it doesn't hurt.
5. More lube.
6. Listen to what your body is telling you. If it doesn't seem like any pain is going away, something is wrong. Or maybe your body just isn't into anal that day.
7. Once you get practiced, there are lots of ways to alter how it feels inside. My favorite was to add a bit of warming lube. It makes it feel like you really have to go, and you want to push. As you push, and the object moves in against the grain, its a very wonderful feeling. It is possible to have an anal orgasm. It is entirely different than a regular orgasm.
Okay, let's say there are two women. One finds vaginal sex comfortable only, the other finds anal sex comfortable only. Which one is more likely to get pregnant? The one who likes vaginal sex. So the genes which make vaginal sex comfortable get passed on and the genes which make anal sex comfortable get bred out because that woman doesn't have children to pass them on to.
Because anal sex doesn't (often) lead to pregnancy, there is no genetic advantage in it being comfortable.