Is it normal that i want to like the same things he does?

So the guy I'm dating is obsessed with a certain band so i went and got 3 albums and i know most of the songs already. He's also a golfer so i watched the master's tournament. Everything he's into.. i want to get involved in too.

I feel like that might be kinda creepy..

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86% Normal
Based on 42 votes (36 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • ProseAthlete

    If it's creepy, then anyone who's ever been really into someone has been creepy. It's normal to get interested in what he likes. It only gets stalkerrific if you pretend that you always liked that band and just love golf even though you secretly hate it.

    It's fine to want to share his interests, but it's also okay to not be all that wild about golf or One Direction or stand-up comedy or whatever it is he loves that you don't. It's healthy for a relationship if your likes and dislikes don't match up perfectly; that way you have some hobbies and interests that are all yours. You don't want to be his clone, so having your own tastes is probably healthy.

    If you find out you really like golf, that's great too. :)

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  • Terence_the_viking

    Don't lose your individuality.

    Be who you are not a clone of your one true hate.

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    • mixwell

      I agree. I personally like it when I start dating a new female and I can embrace and experience something new that she might be into or the other way around. I mainly listen to "underground" hip hop and a lot of chicks I date listen to a lot of mainstream but most will listen and actually like some of the music I play.

      Some want me to make them a CD of some shit which is cool but being into everything I am is a huge turnoff to me to where I feel like they are boring and have no interest/identity in anything.

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  • disthing

    Hm.. In my opinion, it's bordering on creepy. And unnecessary.

    Usually with people you like, you have shared interests anyway, or your enjoyment of each other's interests grow whilst you're with them. You exchange band names, artists, books etc. to see what your mutual likes and dislikes are. It's organic. It's done WITHOUT a conscious agenda, even if you might be viewing certain things through love-tinted spectacles.

    What you're doing sounds like research. Like you're consolidating information to impress him and make him think you are similar. I mean, if you wanted to get to know that band, why not ask to borrow a CD? That is both an excuse to connect with the boy you fancy, and an opportunity to try before you buy all of their back-catalogue (you might not like the band). Why not ask if he can show you how to play golf some day? Easy excuse for a date, and you might discover you enjoy it.

    Basically, don't force this stuff. You have your hobbies, he has his. Don't think you need to shape yourself around what you imagine his ideal is, because I guarantee you a facade won't hold up in a relationship. The cliché 'be yourself' is entirely appropriate here.

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  • mixwell

    It's normal but you should have your own interests and hobbies yourself. It is kind of overboard to want to like everything he does to the point where he may feel like you don't have your own personality.

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  • Paradiddle

    I'll tell you this, when an ex of mine actively showed an interest in anime when she had never watched one before and watched the whole thing as well as spoke of a desire to play my favorite MMO despite not being a heavy gamer, I was seriously impressed. She didn't diss my hobbies and surely could have respected them but not tried them out but she went the extra mile. She could have tried and ended up not liking them and it would have been okay. But showing interest to someone's hobbies means that you're willing to experience what your partner likes and try new things together which is fantastic. I don't even remember the last time I said "fantastic".

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