Is it normal that i want to hurt people?
As a child I had many hardships, my mother died when I was 7, and my father left me with my grandmother shortly after. I found taking my anger and aggression out on local residents animals helped a lot. I started with killing small birds, and rodents and progressively moved up to residents dogs and cats. I would steal them whenever possible, and stab then until they died in my grandmothers garage. I gave them a proper burial for what they have gone through. I moved onto torturing these animals as I aged, shortly after I turned 14 I realised I could inflict more pain to these animals, and I took that as I would in my position. I would cut tails off, cut ears, and even fingers from these animals with scissors and let them go. I could see my pain inflicted daily, and it made it that much more sweet. I'm now 41 and have dreams, visions, and even hear myself saying that I should move on. I want to kill people, I want to torture anyone, it doesn't matter who. I want to inflict as much bodily pain as possible, what worries me is I want to act on it, but hurting kids is something I can't do. I haven't hurt an animal in years, but I'm haunted by what I want to do.
Is it normal to feel this way?
If not should I seek help, and how should I go about doing this?
Please, serious posts only.