Is it normal that i want to have sex with my older femalecousin?

Is it normal to keep having these thoughts of wanting to have sex with my older female cousin? I keep trying to tell my-self that it would be wrong or right to do such a thing plus she is married and and 3 kids 1 boy and 2 girls one of which who also i want to fuck and she is a lot younger that me and I'm younger than my older female cousin so how should i ask her in a discreet manner? If it is right or wrong i see it to be a outlet of being a virgin and i am going to take it even though she lives with my aunt and uncle but i want it to be safe so i have a packaged condom in my dresser hidden and only i know of its exact location, since i don't know when i will be going back over there i might ask if i can go over there for a couple hours then make my move on my cousin,she is so damn beautiful i get a boner every time i think about her i just want to ask her to go to her room with my one cousin and ask my oldest female cousin to get naked, turn around and bend over and have my younger cousin lick my balls while i have sex with her mom who is my cousin then remove the condom and have the oldest female cousin turn around get on her knees and suck my dick so good that i will cover her face with my sticky syrup then put the condom back on and have sex with my little cousin.so who can give me some advice to my situation? someone anyone please help me i need help badly or i might just go insane from the very thought of which that brought me here. IIN?