Is it normal that i want to go through hard times?

14 Comments

I feel like a lot of you won’t understand what I’m talking about, but I just really need to let something out rn. It sounds messed up, but I want to go through hard times. I even think a lot about being in an abusive relationship and being mistreated. It’s not that I don’t understand what these things are like, since I guess I went through some pretty shit times in my childhood but it’s like sometimes I find myself missing those times even though I felt awful. I feel like all my friends are going through shit right now and they feel like they can’t talk to me about it because I’m not going through anything. I want to scream about all the stuff I’ve experienced, but the last thing I want is to be called an attention seeker or a drama queen or something.

I wish I could say that I don’t want my friends to be unhappy because I care about them. Obviously I do care about them, but I also feel like they’re so strong because of everything they’ve been through and I’m just weak and boring and not good at anything. All I’ve ever really wanted was to hear someone say they care about me and mean it. I feel like I’m so bitter and I don’t deserve all the things I have. I feel like I need to go through horrible things before I can be happy, like them I’ll feel like I’ve earned it you know? Maybe I’m just completely delusional. Please comment if anyone understands or has any advice or kind words. I feel like pain is such a stupid thing to crave but sometimes the pain of not having enough pain gets too much. Even though pain is what I want, the fact that I don’t have a reason for it makes it feel invalid. Anyway, I feel a bit better letting that out. Please share your experiences/advice below.

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Comments ( 14 )

KholatKhult

4 years ago

Go camping without supplies.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  4 years ago
  
  You might be on to something 😂
  
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- litelander8
  
  4 years ago
  
  Yes.
  
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raisinbran

4 years ago

Travel in Syria, then you can tell your friends you were beheaded.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  3 years ago
  
  I like it 😂
  
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Fugazi,again

4 years ago

Should do something difficult and worthwhile like some sort of college course or even set yourself a challenge of some sort. I understand the feeling when your life feels too easy and you can feel useless or like you can't relate to other people.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  4 years ago
  
  Thanks, it’s good to know I’m not the only one!
  
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TerriAngel

4 years ago

Nope, won't relate.
I went through the crap.
I busted ass to get where I am.
My life isn't to suffer some more, to make myself feel better.
My life, is to really apppreciate, and value how fortunate I am.
And to try to help lift others up.
To help people in a bad place to realize that I was there and if They are willing to do the things you have to do.
You can live a better life.
Knowone is served by you suffering.
You sound self absorbed.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  4 years ago
  
  Thanks for the feedback
  
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litelander8

4 years ago

My life is super hectic. Everyone loves me but I really hate myself. I feel like I’m never doing enough and truly, I should do more. Despite this, I act like everything is gravy baby. And my nonchalant attitude tends to make people feel like they can’t talk to me bc I’m so “carefree”.
You’re definitely better off not having big stressers in life. Regardless, you should talk to your friends about how you feel. That may encourage them to talk to you about their problems as well. Or maybe being a source of contentment for them would help as well.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  4 years ago
  
  Thanks! I’ll try and it’s good to know someone kinda gets what I’m talking about.
  
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Bazinga

4 years ago

Hardship can build character. But not all hardship is equal. Abusive toxic relationships don't help anyone. Indeed, KholatKhult is on to something. Camping with minimal supplies teaches you to ignore hunger, live by your wits, and above all else to be resourceful. Resourcefulness along with sound thinking under stress is the best predictor of survival.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  3 years ago
  
  Thank you! It’s legit on my bucket list now lmao
  
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Anonymous Post Author

3 years ago

I mean I’m not gonna deny-

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Are You Normal?

Is it normal that i want to go through hard times?