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My husband always play online games everytime.. after work and all his spare time. When we are out he plays on his phone. The only descent talk i can have with him is when he is driving. I am already tired and has stop initiating sex just to boost my ego. I felt taken but forgotten and neglected. Need help!
You should talk to him and tell him exactly how you are feeling about the situation...
If he does not change then he obviously does not care about your feelings. If that's the case you need to move on and find someone new.
You should paint your house full of pixels, dress yourself in a pixel suit, and tell him you've bought him a 3D virtual reality game where the aim is to get it on with the title character (you) and that he'll have to complete many tasks to achieve this aim (cook dinner, mow the lawn, tidy up the basement) and defeat many bosses (your mother-in-law, the annoying next-door neighbour, and that gross guy downtown who keeps eyeing you up).
it's normal, but with online games, it could also be that he is addicted. If you do love him, he may need support on this, even if he will not realize at first.
But i agree, you need to have a talk with him at first! Make it clear that his gaming has gone beyond "hobby" and that it's fine if he's playing, but that does not mean he can neglect everything else, especially you...at least when you're out shopping or for a walk he should focus on you instead of the games.
he is in denial of his gaming addiction and compares to other player that at least he still works and insists that if I ask him to drive he will but the truth is I can feel that even if we are out he plays or uncomfortable and wants to just go home... it's killing me and ruins our relationship.. Sometimes I just want out but have no courage to do so...
well, do tell him that you acknowledge he is working, but that does not help _YOU_ if you miss spending time with him.
If you had no feelings for him whatsoever, you would already be gone, courage or not.
You could try the following: If he really believes he is not addicted, then it should not be a problem to "stop". Make a bet with him, that he cannot go for even a month(or 2 weeks, if thats too high) without ANY gaming. If YOU win, he admits that he is addicted and tries to change. If HE wins, you will stop trying to change him and no longer bugger him about it.
The trick is: In this month/2 weeks, he will need to spend a lot of time with you, a good chance to re-kindle your relationship-fire, and to etablish "ceremonies" together that you could continue afterwards. If all fails, you can still look to leave him afterwards...you never promised to accept it, only to stop trying to change him/bugger him...which is all true if you leave.
If he refuses the bet outright, claim that he _IS_ addicted, and even if he doesn't "need to prove something" to himself, you want him to "prove it to you", because you do feel neglected and that he IS addicted.
I've been addicted to a game before. They can super addicting, but any game i've ever obsessed over either got borng or I beat it. Maybe give it some time?
It's been 6 years that he's playing think I have wasted 9 yrs already. I have tried 100* he just doesn't grow... It's a nightmare thinking you got to spend the rest of ur life with someone like him. Im just loving myself more now than I use to. Nice exchanging ideas with all of u guys.
That long eh? He sounds immature for his age, unfortunatly some people are like that. I think loving yourself more is a smart move on your part. Go out and hang with firends, do what make you happy and forget that guy :/ He's your husband, not just some guy, so i'm sure you want to stay with him. Just keep yourself busy and don't let his problems ruin your life. Maybe if you start to move farther apart he'll start to realize and grow up
A certain amount of videogames is normal for guys, but what you describe is TOO much. He sounds immature, as a little kid. He needs to grow up.
Also, I seriously wouldn't accept porn.
Start dating someone else. He is not worth it.
I just don't know how to. It's marriage not that like a girlfriend-boyfriend thing. Good thing we don't have a kid though. Dating is the last thing in my mind. I probably want to end this first before i get another rock be thrown to me. Need to seriously get out before any more damage can further affect myself. I don't think i have something more left, everything has been deteriorated.
Yeah I have the same problem with mine and his computer. And porn and shopping online. He can sit on his computer for hours everyday.
I thought it was bad having a teenager like this but a fully grown man!!
Can you not just explain to him that it is downright rude to ignore you or others when he is playing his little games? My initial response would be - Grow up!!!
Try limiting his time to 8pm-11pm after dinner and he has helped you with things around the house. The world doesn't stop coz he has, there is still various bits of paperwork to do etc that you may need him to complete.
Either that or let him get on with it and get out there and have some fun. Find a new life with someone else and then jump ship.
He has this schedule where 8-11 infront of his desktop then goes to bed play his phone same thing. He doesn't see the problem but i do, I feel and i am suffering.
So 3 hours a night is not enough?!
If you're sleeping in the same bed - tell him to get to sleep! If he won't, tell him to go into another room / sofa to play his wee games.
He's very lucky he's not with me or his phone would hit the fukn wall.
He needs to see consequences for his neglect of you - please tell me you have no kids!
So, I wouldn't bring him a coffee in those 3 hours, if he's not a DIYer you could flick the trip for the electric ring main and cut the computer off. Don't do any housework during those hours that he has down time or any of his laundry. One day he will have to learn to take time out and pull his weight.
Why don't you go out every night and come home laughing about the time you're having with your friends or at the weekend come home half drunk! He might just get scared of what you are up to.
Don't waste your life watching him waste his!
Get out and enjoy yourself!