Is it normal that i want to die playing russian roulette?

"I'd rather be brutally raped and tortured for months (or years, doesn't matter) before finally being murdered than reach old age and die an old woman."

No.

No you wouldn't. I guarantee you wouldn't.

Most of the people I know who have this "I'd rather die than grow old" mentality grow out of it.

Of course, being immobile, incontinent, senile and weak is a bleak situation to be in. But plenty of people get to 80 and have healthy, fulfilling lives. Children / grand children they love, hobbies they can spend all their time on, a husband/wife they adore, life-long friends, amazing stories to tell. And no lifetime is long enough to learn everything or experience everything, which means there's always the chance to try something new.

You're in control of your own life, and if you think it's worth so little beyond a certain fairly arbitrary age, then you go ahead and end it. But instead of contemplating the way you want to splash your brain and skull matter across the wall, you could spend time on thinking about how you could ensure your life is as gratifying as possible even when you're old and grey.

Just a thought.

God, some of you young people are absolutely CLUELESS.
It will never happen. You can say what you like now, but you will never play RR. You know what? You don't know how! You have to chamber at least one round for the gun to do much harm to you. STUPID!
Women do not, repeat do not, often use a firearm to kill themselves. They are too vain. Only the truly crazy ones do. Are you truly crazy?
By the time you are 40, you will cherish life and wish to stretch it out as long as possible. With kids and grand kids, a loving husband your life will be worth living, you'll see.
I would bet dollars to donuts you are a lot closer to 12 than 20, but that's only my take on this silly post.

How morbid

I do too, I have severe depression

Cylinder. Not barrel. 6 chambers. Not barrels. Of course not all revolvers have 6 chambers so you could get better odds if you shop around.

This is a perfectly normal feeling to have. My diabetic grandmother is now 76 years old. She has several brain tumors and suffers from incontinence. She wants to die but she is incapable at this point of taking her own life. Instead, she wants to find residence in Switzerland where you can - according to her - request for a health professional to inject enough pharma drugs to kill you and it wouldn't be deemed as murder.

Hopefully by the time you've reached that age, society will have progressed far enough to accept what the Swiss have already figured out. Pushing the limits of aging is not something that fits into my worldview either.

you should watch a film called 187