Is it normal that i want to change for him ?

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14 Comments

Ive been dating this boy for a year and half, we are IN LOVE. we`re 18. ive known him since 4th grade. weve gone to school together all our lives. hes the sweetest boy EVER.
but anyways,
hes absolutely perfect looking. and his body is gorgeous. though hes a little thin.. but it still looks great.
every girl wants him. and theres nobody he cant get. hes perfect at everything, and hes a genius.
anyways, hes 5`10 and 130 pounds.. its not as skinny as it sounds !
but, im 5`6 and 143 pounds.
he wants to weigh more than me. why doesnt he just gain weight? he says its hard. like WOW. just, take another peice of chicken at supper.
so, he also said that i would be more attractive if i lost 20 pounds. he told me this when i told him to be honest.. so i cant really blame him.. he said hed love me a smidge more too..

so i want to lose 20 pounds now ! but its hard.. and im not sure if i want him to love me more because im better looking.. idk. im just confused. should i do it for him ? he says hes trying to gain weight.. but he eats hardly anything. is it normal for me to change for him ? make myself more attractive so he will give me more attention ?
we spend all of our time together.. it would be nice for him to honestly say he loved my body.
im just a little upset because he told me i was perfect before.. but, idk. just tell me what you think pleeaasse. :D much appreciated. your advice is HUGE. i dont have a girl bestfriend. XD thanks.

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60% Normal
Based on 70 votes (42 yes)
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Comments ( 14 )
  • aussiewolf
    13 years ago

    you should never EVER change your appearance for ANYONE to make them like you more. you should ONLY do it for HEALTH reasons. its no wonder that there are so many kids with food issues because their asshole boyfriends tell them to lose wight just because they dont find them attractive enough. if you are happy with your weight then tell him to stick it. if you are really that worried then tell him to get a penis pump because his dick is too small and doesnt make you happy and see how he reacts. penny to a pound of shit, he will spit the dummy at you. if he can push you to change your appearance then he should expect you to want him to change too.

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  • Darkoil
    13 years ago

    Tell the skinny twat that if he doesn't start making you feel better about yourself then you will gain anouther 20 pounds then lay him out cold.

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    • magpie96
      13 years ago

      lolololololol

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  • CountryRoads
    13 years ago

    My god I'm 5'10" and weigh 175. This whole thing is not normal and sounds pathetic. You need to tell him to go fuck himself and that you are BEAUTIFUL.

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  • Hard_Candy
    13 years ago

    5'10 130 lbs is a very sissy weight for a guy. He should be at least 30 lbs heavier. So its really him who should change not you. And at that weight I can't imagine he's all that attractive, emaciated skinny little boys are not the business.

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    tell him youll match hm one pound for every two he gains, that sounds fair

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    • [Old Memory]
      13 years ago

      great answer aussiewolf!

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  • TyLee
    13 years ago

    I think that you need to find a guy who loves you how you are. If you want to lose weight for you that is one thing but don't do it for him cause seriously he is the one that is too thin.

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  • helenjewett
    13 years ago

    of course we all want to change whoever we love.

    20 lbs is a lot to try to lose.
    are you eating healthy? exercising regularly? If you are at a normal weight, you don't need to lose weight, just maintain it. Please don't try any weird diets because some of them may be detrimental to your health.

    There are certain ways to achieve weight gain. Perhaps talking to a dietician or a sports teacher may help your boyfriend put on a new lbs.. or muscle.

    this boy should love you for who you are. if he's concerned about your eating habits or if you perhaps are a little on the heavier side, he may just wants the best for you. (check your bmi or ideal body weight)

    if you do lose weight.. do you honestly think he'll give you more attention? he should give you all his attention already.. not more if you lose a couple lbs.

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    • magpie96
      13 years ago

      Im a healthy weight. 5'6 and 143.
      ive looked online, and apparently im at a healthy weight, and within my ideal weight. i do NOT have a health problem, i just dont have the look of a model.

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    • wreckd
      13 years ago

      I couldn't have said it better. :)

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  • Tancho
    13 years ago

    Best answer from aussiewolf! As everyone else you shouldn't have to change just to keep someone else happy, losing 20lb isn't going to make them love you more as love isn't related to body weight.
    I know if my man said that to me he'd get kicked out the door!!

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  • temporaryism
    13 years ago

    if he can actually get any girl he wants, i'm sure he's not with you just for the way you look

    if a girl changed for my desires i would love her more because she cared enough about me to do it, not necessarily because of what the change would be

    but to be honest, I would probably never ask it of her

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  • DefinitelyNotNormal89
    13 years ago

    I suppose if you've always been around this weight since you've been together it's a bit out of order but it's incredibly hard for a man to ask a woman to lose weight, and he hasn't done it in a horrible way- you can't ask a man an opinion and get too upset my the truth, and by the way you asked him to be honest it sounds like the answer you were expecting. He wont love you any more, he should be in love with YOU not your body.
    If you want to lose weight go for it, if not tell him so!
    This may sound incredibly selfish but you have to do what makes you happy in life, if he's with you for aesthetic reasons he is not worth the time of day, but if it's true love (you sound a bit self conscious) maybe he just wants you to be happier with yourself?

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