Is it normal that i want to become apathetic?/apathy?

This is an incredibly normal feeling, but an unhealthy way to deal with it. By "incredibly normal", I mean a lot of people feel this way but it truly is one of the most difficult internal battles we face as human beings, our roller coaster of emotional highs and lows. You don't want to rely on weed to keep you at peace, you wanna be able to do this by yourself.

Focus on a few things:

1) Avoid getting stuck in the "if" trap. Don't put conditions on your happiness, for example "I'd be happier IF this or I could be positive/productive IF that." These thoughts will devour your body and mind from the inside out and are to be avoided at all costs. Instead, focus on what you need to do right now. It may be something productive if you're feeling up to it, but may also just be something relaxing if you're feeling stressed out.

2) Understand the emotional cycle. Sometimes you'll feel unstoppable, sometimes hopeless. This is a natural part of life. The more you understand this the more bearable the lows will seem because you know they will pass. Try to remember this every time you're feeling low cause you sure as hell can't escape it. It's more so about striving for an even-tempered and level state of mind rather than chasing positivity all the time.

3) Be grateful. When you get stuck in the if trap or the could've/should've/would've trap, actively counteract these stressful and anxious thoughts by thinking of something you're grateful for in your life, no matter how seemingly insignificant. For example, you could be grateful you have heat in your house or drinkable water. Believe it or not, a lot of people don't have these things and you're lucky to have them. You are living better than a lot of people out there on this planet. The fact that you have internet access leads me to assume these things.

4) Show appreciation. Studies show that showing appreciation for what other people do for you can lead to greater happiness. When someone does something nice for you or says something nice, thank them genuinely. Tell someone the things you like about them/the things they do.
Examples: "I like your dress, it looks good on you", "I think it's cool that you always make your own lunch. More people should get into cooking.", "Thank you for the ride, I really appreciate it." Not so hard, huh? Just let people know the things that you honestly like about them/appreciate from them

5) Do something nice for someone else and don't tell anyone about it. You will be amazed at the internal effects this will have.

Keep the serenity prayer in mind. I'm not very religious but I like this one anyways:

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
and the wisdom to know the difference

If all else fails, fall back on an old Buddhist technique. Inhale while silently saying the word "Om", then exhale with all your soul. Repeat as needed.

I believe what you're seeking is not so much apathy/lack of emotions but rather zen/peace of mind

I tried to be apathetic once but couldn't be bothe....

There's a difference between numbness and apathy, but who cares?

Whats worse, ignorance or apathy?
Don't know, don't care :)

http://puu.sh/fTWq9/9d89700b3e.png

It wouldn't let me type this much on a comment, but if you care to read it here is my advice to you

http://puu.sh/fTWq9/9d89700b3e.png

3) Be grateful. When you get stuck in the if trap or the could've/should've/would've trap, actively counteract these stressful and anxious thoughts by thinking of something you're grateful for in your life, no matter how seemingly insignificant. For example, you could be grateful you have heat in your house or drinkable water. Believe it or not, a lot of people don't have these things and you're lucky to have them. You are living better than a lot of people out there on this planet. The fact that you have internet access leads me to assume these things.

4) Show appreciation. Studies show that showing appreciation for what other people do for you can lead to greater happiness. When someone does something nice for you or says something nice, thank them genuinely.

5) Do something nice for someone else and don't tell anyone about it. You will be amazed at the internal effects this will have.

Keep the serenity prayer in mind. I'm not very religious but I like this one anyways:

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
and the wisdom to know the difference

If all else fails, fall back on an old Buddhist technique. Inhale while silently saying the word "Om", then exhale with all your soul. Repeat as needed.

This is an incredibly normal feeling, but an unhealthy way to deal with it. By "incredibly normal", I mean a lot of people feel this way but it truly is one of the most difficult internal battles we face as human beings, our roller coaster of emotional highs and lows. You don't want to rely on weed to keep you at peace, you wanna be able to do this by yourself.

Focus on a few things:

1) Avoid getting stuck in the "if" trap. Don't put conditions on your happiness, for example "I'd be happier IF this or I could be positive/productive IF that." These thoughts will devour your body and mind from the inside out and are to be avoided at all costs. Instead, focus on what you need to do right now. It may be something productive if you're feeling up to it, but may also just be something relaxing if you're feeling stressed out.

2) Understand the emotional cycle. Sometimes you'll feel unstoppable, sometimes hopeless. This is a natural part of life. The more you understand this the more bearable the lows will seem because you know they will pass. Try to remember this every time you're feeling low cause you sure as hell can't escape it. It's more so about striving for an even-tempered and level state of mind rather than chasing positivity all the time.

3) Be grateful. When you get stuck in the if trap or the could've/should've/would've trap, actively counteract these stressful and anxious thoughts by thinking of something you're grateful for in your life, no matter how seemingly insignificant. For example, you could be grateful you have heat in your house or drinkable water. Believe it or not, a lot of people don't have these things and you're lucky to have them. You are living better than a lot of people out there on this planet. The fact that you have internet access leads me to assume these things.

4) Show appreciation. Studies show that showing appreciation for what other people do for you can lead to greater happiness. When someone does something nice for you or says something nice, thank them genuinely.

5) Do something nice for someone else and don't tell anyone about it. You will be amazed at the internal effects this will have.

Keep the serenity prayer in mind. I'm not very religious but I like this one anyways:

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
and the wisdom to know the difference

If all else fails, fall back on an old Buddhist technique. Inhale while silently saying the word "Om", then exhale with all your soul. Repeat as needed.