Is it normal that i want to be alone and die alone

47% Normal
28 Comments

By that I mean alone alone. No ties. I don't want to be bothered by family, I don't want a child, or a wife/girlfriend, or even a pet. I could have the occasional Acquaintance but that's it. I told my parents that I wanted to live alone and to not have a relationship and they were worried about me. They said something like "You're going to live an unhappy life" or something like that, Im not looking for an Is it normal thing, I just want to know what could possibly spark this.

Voting Results
47% Normal
Based on 32 votes (15 yes)
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Comments ( 28 )
  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    It really confuses and borderline irritates me that people assume that when others like being alone and prefer to spend the majority of their time just with themselves that they automatically will have an "unhappy" life. As if every person in the world who got married or was in a relationship or had kids just had the greatest life they could possibly have. I am sure statistically speaking there are people who regret marriage and kids or any relationship more then those who are thankful for it. At best its probably at least a 50/50 split.

    I just dont understand how some people get so panicky when it comes to being by themselves I, personally, prefer it.

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    • BLAh81
      11 years ago

      "It really confuses and borderline irritates me that people assume that when others like being alone and prefer to spend the majority of their time just with themselves that they automatically will have an "unhappy" life"

      There is indeed nothing wrong with wanting to be alone. However, wanting to be alone all the time and even wanting to DIE alone - as the O.P. says - just sounds plain freaky to me. I'm just being honest.

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      • shade_ilmaendu
        11 years ago

        But everyone dies alone. o.o

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        • BLAh81
          11 years ago

          Yes, but surely you understand there's a significant difference between dying alone alone and dying surrounded by loved ones. That's the way I'd prefer to go. Don't you?

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          • [Old Memory]
            11 years ago

            A person who is dying, and really dying, I dont mean just really sick, has almost no idea of what is going on around them at all. In fact they are probably comatose. Whether loved ones are around them or not is probably not even realized. Sure that sounds like a nice scenario to have happen, but death isnt like how its portrayed in the movies with the hero getting in a few poignant last words then saying goodbye to everyone while all the people they saved stand around thanking them. People just fade away, no last words, no wonderful insights into the human condition. They basically just go to sleep. And like shade_ilmaendu said everyone dies alone. All those people on the plane that crashed died from the same event, but didnt die "together".

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            • BLAh81
              11 years ago

              "A person who is dying, and really dying, I dont mean just really sick, has almost no idea of what is going on around them at all."

              I'd like to see some hard proof of that, because I'm not convinced AT ALL. You mention the word "comatose" too. Well, I've been in a really bad coma and I could see everyone around me (although there are probably stages too in which one is totally cut off from the outside world). Even IF the presence of others isn't realized, it would still be a nice thought they'll be there later on, when the person IS still able to realize it. I think when your time comes, you'll ignore all you've just said and would like loved ones around too, regardless of any realization (which I think IS there). We humans are social animals.

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            • shade_ilmaendu
              11 years ago

              You said it much better :P

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          • shade_ilmaendu
            11 years ago

            Honestly I don't know. I suppose it would be nice to share my last few moments of awareness with them, but what's the point really?

            It would depress them more than anything, and then I would be gone, so why would it matter to me? I'd think more about the impact that seeing me die would have on my loved ones, I wouldn't want to leave them with that image.

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            • BLAh81
              11 years ago

              "I suppose it would be nice to share my last few moments of awareness with them, but what's the point really? "

              What's the point? Well, perhaps for closure or emotional purposes? After all, it is LITERALLY the last chance for... anything really!

              It's good of you you don't want to depress your loved ones, but I know people who'd give ANYTHING to go back in time to say goodbye to a dead relative whose last moments they missed.

              For example, my father missed the last moments of his father. He still regrets it, although my grandfather has been dead for 30 years.

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  • NeuroNeptunian
    11 years ago

    So many factors could spark this.

    Often it is due to past experience. People who feel this way have had at least one very painful experience in their lives in which they wished to socialize but were treated in a very cruel manner. Could have happened before you were old enough to remember.

    Betrayal, trusting people and having your trust revoked by their dishonesty, putting people on a pedestal and being shocked to learn of their imperfections could resemble this as well.

    Also, not having a diverse enough amount of social experience could cause one to essentially not miss what they have never had. Social laziness can also cause this.

    It's also quite possible that you prefer putting your energy I.into things like work or study, common amongst very productive oriented people, worker bees as you could say.

    To be blatantly unwilling to socialize rather than feeling just apathy for the subject could indicate any one of these issues or more
    I ain't got much learnin.

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    • 011assasin
      11 years ago

      Though that seems legitimate I've never actually been a social outcast. I know Im introverted and I enjoy my quiet time but its evolved to where I am addicted to it.

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      • NeuroNeptunian
        11 years ago

        May not be that you're addicted to the alone-time, more so than you are addicted to the familiarity.

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        • 011assasin
          11 years ago

          hmm.. Possibly I suppose. although I shouldn't be opposing because I have no idea whats up with myself.

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  • Blue_Velvet
    11 years ago

    It sounds like post traumatic stress disorder.

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    • BLAh81
      11 years ago

      Yes.

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  • Wh0Ar3YoU
    11 years ago

    I also plan on dying alone. Nobody knows who I am so I am basically getting a head start so far. Im going to die alone in my home of old age or a disease and when my death story appears on the newspaper or on the news everyone is going to question who I was.

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    WhoAr3YoU

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    • BLAh81
      11 years ago

      "when my death story appears on the newspaper or on the news everyone is going to question who I was."

      Or not...

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  • BLAh81
    11 years ago

    I think your parents were right: this way you really ARE going to live an unhappy life. We humans are social animals and we all need and want love from others. To want to be alone ALL of the time is DEEPLY (not just a little bit) abnormal, unnatural and unhealthy. Sure, it may feel OK for a while, but chances are you're gonna regret it eventually. The only explanation I can think of why ANYONE would want to live like this is that you're EXTREMELY damaged and traumatized. I think you should seek help. Good luck.

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    • [Old Memory]
      11 years ago

      I think its kind of ridiculous for you to tell the OP that the way they are living their life i.e. in desiring to be alone more often then not, is going to be an unhappy life. I say this respectfully only because I think you mean to give them good advice and wish them good luck.

      Just because its widely accepted from sociologists and psychologists and other slightly pseudo scientific communities that human beings are social creatures doesnt mean that EVERY SINGLE human being alive on the planet at this moment has to be social or else they are abnormal and something is gravely wrong with them. Its easy to write people off as being "damaged" or "traumatized" just because they like being alone, but there are many people who really dont overly enjoy face to face socializing at all and you would never suspect it because they can do it very well. It tends to take alot out of them and they really dont enjoy but do it because of this pressure society exhibits that people who live alone are "creepy". I can easily meld myself into a social gathering and outing in many ways, but I never really "enjoy" it and prefer being alone. If the OP is the same way there is certainly nothing abnormal, unnatural, and unhealthy about it.

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      • BLAh81
        11 years ago

        "I think its kind of ridiculous for you to tell the OP that the way they are living their life i.e. in desiring to be alone more often then not, is going to be an unhappy life."

        Think away. I'm just giving my opinion. If that's not appreciated I don't really care. And the O.P. didn't say they'd like to be alone "more often then not" but rather they wanna be alone ALL the time. I personally also like to be alone quite much, but ALL of the time? I honestly think that's unhealthy. Sounds a bit like autism really.

        "I say this respectfully only because I think you mean to give them good advice and wish them good luck."

        I indeed have good intentions and I still think I have given good advice.

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        • [Old Memory]
          11 years ago

          If they want to be alone all the time who are you to question what they want for themselves? You can think its unhealthy all you want, perhaps the OP (much like me) doesnt care what you think either?

          Your opinion is just that, an opinion. My opinion is that people can think and decide for themselves what they want for themselves.

          Neither one of us are right OR wrong.

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          • BLAh81
            11 years ago

            "If they want to be alone all the time who are you to question what they want for themselves? You can think its unhealthy all you want, perhaps the OP (much like me) doesnt care what you think either?"

            I'm just saying that I think it's unhealthy and there's a good chance they may regret it later on, that's all. If my comments are unwanted, they shouldn't have posted. They can do with it what they want, I really don't give a shit.

            "Neither one of us are right OR wrong."

            Then why the hell do you debate me as if I WAS wrong?

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