Is it normal that i want to be a surgeon for this reason?

Around Middle school, I developed a strong urge to inflict pain on everyone. Whenever I hurt someone, I feel elated because my urge and desire to inflict unbearable pain on people has become larger. Since I was a kid, I've always wanted to be a surgeon so I could cut people open with knives and rip out their internal organs and get all covered in blood and body matter.

In surgical procedures, a combination of paralytic drugs and anaesthetic is used on patients. I want to become an anaesthetist as well so that I remove the anaesthetic from the solution and inject only the paralytic drugs. That way, people will still be conscious through their surgery, and will not be able to scream or struggle against me. I would enjoy the profession even more if I got to make the patients suffer unbearable and hilarious pain.

Is this a common thing amongst surgeons???