Is it normal that i want my boyfriend to be lovey-dovey again?

87% Normal
9 Comments

First of all, I just want to say that my boyfriend and I have a great relationship, and I know he still loves me. The main thing I want here is some advice on how to make my boyfriend miss me and want me like he did at the beginning of our relationship. SO, we have been together for over a year and as most of us have probably experienced, that can't-get-enough-of-each-other feeling has faded on his end. He used to send me cute messages, and write cute things on my Facebook wall (not a lot because that can definitly get tacky, but just once in a great while) I want to bring it back. During the day, my boyfriend and I both work. I work at a Verizon store, so I have my phone on me all day. On slow days I'll send him a text every now and then, not extremely frequently, but the things that I do text him are kind of pointless, and the only reason I'm doing it is because I'm bored, sometimes I feel like that probably bothers him, and feels like maybe I'm not giving us any real time apart. He's really into deer hunting and outdoor kind of stuff, so right now, on almost all of his days off he goes over to his cabin (which is about 2 hours away from our home) with his Dad and a few other guys, I miss him a lot when he's gone, even if its only for two nights, so I constantly want to text him (which i do..too much sometimes I think) and talk to him, even though I know he's busy and that's his time to relax and hunt. Also, I sometimes send him cute little messages, like 'I love you so much, etc' (the kind of messages I want him to occasionally send me.) And when we are at home, I'm the more lovey one (most of the time), hugging & kissing...stuff like that. I know a lot of it is because i'm a girl and I long for that sort of thing from my man probably more than he does from me. I think some of the reason why he doesn't do this stuff is because I already am. So my main question is - Do you think if I lay off a little on the texting, the lovey messages, being the more forward one (kissing, hugging, etc.) it will make him miss me and want me a little more? And maybe he will start doing that stuff again?

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87% Normal
Based on 99 votes (86 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • CinnamonToast
    12 years ago

    I think you're afraid of being labeled.

    There's a HUGE stigma attached to the labels 'needy' and 'clingy' these days. It seems like every time someone comes up with a term for something, like 'dependence' or even 'codependence', people think to themselves, 'Gee, it has a name, it must deserve a death sentence.'

    I say that's all a pile of crap. You're not needy or clingy, you're loving. And if he's not on the same page with you in terms of how loving he wants a relationship to be, then I feel sorry for you both.

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    • amj0913
      12 years ago

      Thanks, this was helpful :) But I'm not really afraid of being labeled. I would say that maybe I am 'clingy', although I don’t really like to call it that, but I do love him and I like to give him attention. I think maybe I painted a different picture here than I meant to. Him and I are definitely on the same page of how loving the relationship is. I didn't mean to imply that he doesn't show affection at all, because he certainly does, I just wanted to know if I sort of laid off on the cutesy messaging and stuff like that if maybe he would start again.

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  • DrinaVonCheez
    12 years ago

    I can totally relate :/

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  • joybird
    12 years ago

    Definitely! He will start to think he's losing you instead of you suffocating him. He must be really embarrassed when you text him while hunting.

    You just need to chill out and think about yourself more. It is a major burden to be responsible for someone else's happiness, so the fact he turns up to see you at all, is enough of an effort for him.

    Calm down before you drive him away.
    He's supposed to feel lucky to have you!

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    • amj0913
      12 years ago

      Thank you! That's really helpful. I'm not usually the clingy type. I used to be really relaxed about our relationship. I'm not really sure why all of a sudden I started being like this, but I'm definitely not going to let it go on any longer. Thanks again :)

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  • Dianadimov
    8 years ago

    Maybe try to relate with him more like hey can I go hunting with you and stuff like that.. My boyfriend is really into skimming and surfing and at first I wasn't into it and its was when we went through an eh stage in our relationship so I started to teach myself by watching videos and taking his boards out and kept practicing and now we both go together and it helped us bond so try to learn your guns I guess and how to aim and all this stuff it'll make him like dang that's my girlfriend and stuff not only does it create a bonding experience but also makes him intrigued :)

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  • regisphilbin
    8 years ago

    you sound like a great girlfriend, too bad your guy doesn't appreciate you more ..:(

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  • jamesmitchell29486
    10 years ago

    What is it with people if U want more affection ASK 4 IT!!!

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  • viper4ever02
    12 years ago

    people in general tend to do the opposite of what you want them to do. I experienced this with an ex girlfriend of mine, when i was in the "lovey dovey" phase she would give me the cold shoulder, but when that phase stopped she all of sudden felt more attracted to me. Moral of the story is, don't waste your time with people who don't appreciate who you are. I could tell you to stop texting him and just do everything the opposite way of how you've been doing them, just so you can make him realize how much he misses it but chances are he will go back to the way he was before once you start your old habits again. These are just stupid games people love to play, it's time to stop playing games and have actual adult relationships with people who enjoy your company, no matter how clingy you are.

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