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I know personality disorders are awful to deal with, but I can't help trying fit some cluster B diagnosis (narcissistic, borderline, histrionic, antisocial).
Maybe you want an excuse? Like an excuse for the way your life is life... maybe...? Because for me, even before I developed some disorders, I always told people I had them, took personality disorder tests, and whatnot... Right now, my life is a mess and I desperately what to get diagnosed with something, so I can get the help and an excuse to opt me out of my situation...
Are you the one who's always taking all the personality tests? Just out of curiosity which one do you tend to be most like?
Why would you ever want to have a mental disorder? That is ridiculous and borderline offensive to the people who actually suffer from them.
If you have to look for one chances are you truly do not have a disorder.
Do you know why? Some disorders have a few benefits as well as disadvantages. Autistics are more logical, schizophrenics are more creative, and personality disordered people are better at getting what they want. So if that is your reasoning lots of people without those disorders can have those beneficial qualities.
If your reasoning is to be pitied then that's just lame.
Its not normal to want to be insane. You don't realize how much people with mental disorders suffer. For one they have an issue they can not fix and most people will never understand. They are judged very harshly by others who are upset they do not think exactly like everyone else. They are often abused mistreated by doctors and the worst of it everyone is plotting to take away that persons freedom for being different.
People with mental problems are not treated with any kind of respect or understanding but they do tend to be a bit more understanding than normal people. Unless you speak of the severely autistic/retarded people who kind of don't really comprehend a lot of what going on and that's really sad.
As the fucked up idiots of the world will laugh and say "Look hes too stupid to get im laughing at him" well its not funny! Its not funny to pick on these people! They did not choose to be born that way. Perfect people are dicks. Fucked up people are usually sad, lonely and angry. So why don't you thank your luck you were born one of norms! its not FUN! YOU FUCKING DICKHEAD!
Did you even read what I have said? I don't want to be autistic or retarded.Personality disorders aren't something people are born with.
Actually that is not always true. Personality disorders are something that does not have a consistant cause. Sometimes they are caused by a bad upbringing but sometimes they are genetic. For example schizotypal pd is usually genetically a mild version of schizophrenia and antisocial pd is often genetic as well. obsessive compulsive pd and schizoid pd often run in families too. They can be developed in some people in some cases but are usually a mix of genetics and upbringing. They are often also caused by other disorders as comorbid conditions.
As an autistic person, I have to say that not all of us are logical. In fact, I am pretty emotionally unstable and am often so irrational that even my closest family members and friends often tell me that they can't understand me. I am also rather creative.
Do you relate to any of those disorders at all? Only a doctor can properly diagnose you, so I would suggest seeing a doctor. If you are diagnosed I suggest getting meds.
Meds don't do alot for personality disorders. OP wants something less treatable than a mental disorder.
I really relate a lot to HPD, NPD and AvPD, but the thing is, I'm not sure if I really have any of them to a full degree.I guess I wish I had because I don't like anything being in grey area, including my personality and it would give me a sense of identity.
I'm probably going to see a professional.
Okay. After reading the comments, I think I understand. Mind you, as a person with Borderline Personality Disorder and Clinical Depression, I was pretty deeply offended when I first saw this. BE CAREFUL HOW YOU WORD THINGS.
You don't want a personality disorder. You want to be diagnosed. You feel like something isn't right and that a diagnosis would help you understand why you are this way. I know this feeling and it's very frustrating. That said, I wasn't diagnosed until it got so bad that I became suicidal and was forced to come to terms with the fact that some of my actions and tendencies could even almost be considered emotionally abusive toward my loved ones. Be thankful you haven't come to this.
You very well might have a personality disorder in its developing stages, but I suggest you keep an eye on your tendencies that suggest so and don't let them take over.
If its any consolation, I felt the same way pre-diagnosis, and took a lot of the same tests you did which all suggested I had Borderline. That said, I think if you focus on these things too much you can also aid the development of whatever disorder you think you have, so tread lightly.
I also think much of this misunderstanding came from me wording it poorly and not including enough information. I actually wrote much more, but it somehow got deleted.
What I really meant was that when I read about, let's say, NPD, I find myself in descriptions and I'm actually proud of it rather than trying to deny my symptoms and that sense of pride makes me act and think even more disorderly,if that's the word.It's not like I find a random PD and think "This must be an awesome thing to have. I wish I wasn't normal."
..well if you have no intention of acknowledging your supposed personality disorder as a bad thing then yeah that is weird and very disrespectful of people with them. If you find that your personality disorder is not affecting your relationships or daily life then I would say that you don't have one and you're just kind of arrogant. Sorry bud, seems you just want to feel special.
some times I need some time alone fly high like a eagle n when im on the land I want to be someone to blame but never mind nothing last for ever just someone with a lost of humor , long lost train in the mountain who is on the edge of light who is a whale that smells like sea water