Is it normal that i wanna kill my grandma?

I fucking hate her so much. Almost everyday she opens my door without knocking asking me "are you here? Hello?" With the door already opened. She's blind in one eye. Anyway she always does this when no ones in the house and she nervous and paranoid when there's no one here but her. She always says "don't leave me okay? They're out at church"
Then when people are home and I walk by her she talks shit and mumbles shit under her breath about me obviously. And when I was little before she got "sick" she called me a racist word so of course she knew what she was saying. I don't care if she's sick mentally, she was like that before and I hope she dies already