Is it normal that i very rarely get horny?

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3 Comments

Reading stuff on the Internet and listening to my friends talk, I really get the impression everyone wants to have sex all the time and are constantly thinking about it. But I'm not the same. I'm turning 20 this year and I find myself having a very, very low sex drive. While I'm not completely grossed out by the idea of me having sex, it doesn't really appeal to me. I'd rather read a book, in all seriousness.

I've never even had a boyfriend before. A couple of years ago I thought maybe I was a lesbian, but nope, that has been cleared up and I'm not. Not that I have been actively trying to get into any relationships either, but I've never felt a real desire to. Occasionally I have entertained the idea of me having a boyfriend/girlfriend or having sex, but the image seems so distant and unreal. Still, I do not consider this a bad thing.

But then, despite all this, I like mildly erotic fiction and sexual humor always cracks me up. Porn does nothing for me, though; if anything, I find it amusing. It's just so stupid and fake and I don't get the appeal. Also, I like nude pictures of women, but of men, not so much.

I am well informed about many things related to sex, because those interest me. I also do get aroused, but the arousal is always just a general sensation, never directed at a person. I can get aroused, for example, by hearing a female orgasm, or by thinking about some other people (usually fictional, like video game characters) making out or having sex, or by reading something erotic. I have also tried to masturbate, but it always feels good for just a couple of seconds and then it becomes a chore, my hand tires and I quickly lose interest. None of my friends are anything like me. What the hell is this?

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78% Normal
Based on 49 votes (38 yes)
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Comments ( 3 )
  • Effii
    13 years ago

    Ok, so this is my opinion.
    Ill tell you a bit about myself, due to the fact that I'm having the same issue.

    Im a 20 year old female and I've noticed that I dont exactly get horny very often either. Like you, Ive delt with the whole lesbian/bi sexual issue and found soon after that the female vagina is just NOT attractive to me what so ever. BUT, I have found that I am attracted to the female curves, breasts, face and voice. I love men though as well. So it's nothing abnormal about this situation. Back on track, I find that I can masterbate to almost anything. I literally lay down and start rubbing myself. No need for any kind of images. Ive masturbated while watching t.v, on a phone call, driving. Haha, yaaaa.. but point being is that I was never actually horny, maybe just bored. Also like you stated, it lasts just a few seconds on climax, then as soon as that short plessure has ended you feel as if you want nothing to do with sex. Sometimes I'll finish and then be bored of it, sickened by it.

    I've grown up dating guys and have only had sex 4 times. 2 times with 2 guys. It was an okay expirience. So like you I'm struggling to understand myself.. but there are people out there like you. My friends are completely opposite and are horny ALL the damn time. So I know how you're feeling.

    So bottum line, Im not sure its really that big of an issue. Butttt, I think maybe you just havent found that one thing or one person that turns you on. Its almost like an addiction, for example; drinking... I can live without it, I drink rarely, but it does nothing for me. As for my friends they drink everynight til their brain is mush because it brings them great satisfaction. Its just another characteristic that everyone differs in.

    Hope that helped! If you need someone to chat with just reply!

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  • jensapa
    13 years ago

    I can REALLY relate, however I am on medication that has killed my sex drive I reckon. Maybe your just not a sexual person.

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    • [Old Memory]
      13 years ago

      I've used anti-depressants for five, maybe six years now. Could that be an explanation for this?

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